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To the person(s) who almost immediately rates my user-comments as "non-useful" as soon as they are published: why? Are you so sad and miserable that only diminishing the work of others brings you joy? Try contributing something yourself, first.
One could certainly state that, around the time "Batman Returns" went into production in 1991/1992, Tim Burton was quite powerful, and he could set his own demands. The original 1989 Batman became a crazy box office hit, and his more personal films that came just before and after - "Beetlejuice" and "Edward Scissorhands" respectively - were also hugely successful. So, for "Batman Returns" he could do whatever he wanted, and he did! It became a very dark film with no less than three important villains (yes, Catwoman is a villain), and it revolves mainly around them while the returning Batman seems to be just a side character.
Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot is a freak who grew up in a sewer (but was able to build an evil empire there) and wants to take revenge on the Gotham where his parents lived. The beautiful Selina struggles with schizophrenia and only feels self-confident as the destructive Catwoman. Max Schrek is simply a ruthless businessman and philanthropist who wants to bend Gotham to his will to become even richer. The plot lines are actually not that well developed, but it all looks very sinister and gloomy... Especially all the scenes with the great Danny DeVito as Penguin and his circus full of terrorists and bandits (including the phenomenal Vincent Schiavelli). For fans of traditional superhero movies, this may be a disappointment, but for fans of dark fantasy, it's a feast; - and perhaps Burton's best film along with "Sleepy Hollow" and "Sweeney Todd".
One could certainly state that, around the time "Batman Returns" went into production in 1991/1992, Tim Burton was quite powerful, and he could set his own demands. The original 1989 Batman became a crazy box office hit, and his more personal films that came just before and after - "Beetlejuice" and "Edward Scissorhands" respectively - were also hugely successful. So, for "Batman Returns" he could do whatever he wanted, and he did! It became a very dark film with no less than three important villains (yes, Catwoman is a villain), and it revolves mainly around them while the returning Batman seems to be just a side character.
Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot is a freak who grew up in a sewer (but was able to build an evil empire there) and wants to take revenge on the Gotham where his parents lived. The beautiful Selina struggles with schizophrenia and only feels self-confident as the destructive Catwoman. Max Schrek is simply a ruthless businessman and philanthropist who wants to bend Gotham to his will to become even richer. The plot lines are actually not that well developed, but it all looks very sinister and gloomy... Especially all the scenes with the great Danny DeVito as Penguin and his circus full of terrorists and bandits (including the phenomenal Vincent Schiavelli). For fans of traditional superhero movies, this may be a disappointment, but for fans of dark fantasy, it's a feast; - and perhaps Burton's best film along with "Sleepy Hollow" and "Sweeney Todd".
"Beast" reminded me very much of another creature-feature I saw recently, and which came out just one year earlier. I'm referring to "Endangered Species" by MJ Bassett, with Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell.
Admittedly, "Beast" is set in South Africa, and the danger comes from one lion, while "Endangered Species" is situated in Kenya and the danger comes from different animal species (rhinos, hyenas, cheetahs...), but the themes are the same. In both films, a family with all kinds of relational problems goes on safari and each time illegal poaching is at the origin of the animals. This film may have a bit more commercial appeal, because it comes from the acclaimed Icelandic director Baltasar Kormákur ("101 Reykjavik") and superstar Idris Elba ("Luther", "The Suicide Squad") stars in it, but in essence "Beast" remains an ordinary B-movie. And not even a very good one.
Elba plays the role of a single father who is estranged from his two teenage daughters and comes with the great idea of taking them on safari in South Africa, together with an old friend who knows the region like the back of his hand. There in the savannah, however, a lone male lion wanders around and he's out for blood vengeance, because ruthless poachers mutilated him and massacred his entire troop. He doesn't really care who he will maul, as long as they are people.
The computer-generated lion seems to be inspired by Scar from "The Lion King", and his temper is ten times worse. The action, the acting, the effects, and the plot developments are all standard and unimpressive. I may (or definitely) be an old whiner but give me the lion action from old-fashioned movies like "Savage Harvest", "Roar", or "The Ghost and the Darkness".
Admittedly, "Beast" is set in South Africa, and the danger comes from one lion, while "Endangered Species" is situated in Kenya and the danger comes from different animal species (rhinos, hyenas, cheetahs...), but the themes are the same. In both films, a family with all kinds of relational problems goes on safari and each time illegal poaching is at the origin of the animals. This film may have a bit more commercial appeal, because it comes from the acclaimed Icelandic director Baltasar Kormákur ("101 Reykjavik") and superstar Idris Elba ("Luther", "The Suicide Squad") stars in it, but in essence "Beast" remains an ordinary B-movie. And not even a very good one.
Elba plays the role of a single father who is estranged from his two teenage daughters and comes with the great idea of taking them on safari in South Africa, together with an old friend who knows the region like the back of his hand. There in the savannah, however, a lone male lion wanders around and he's out for blood vengeance, because ruthless poachers mutilated him and massacred his entire troop. He doesn't really care who he will maul, as long as they are people.
The computer-generated lion seems to be inspired by Scar from "The Lion King", and his temper is ten times worse. The action, the acting, the effects, and the plot developments are all standard and unimpressive. I may (or definitely) be an old whiner but give me the lion action from old-fashioned movies like "Savage Harvest", "Roar", or "The Ghost and the Darkness".
The movies from my childhood that defined the taste and preferences I still have today were mostly dark fantasies & child-friendly horror movies. Not so much the energetic Science-Fiction movies, though. Between 7 and 12 years old, I non-stop watched titles like "Something Wicked This Way Comes", "Dark Crystal", "Return to Oz", "Watcher in the Woods", and "Escape to Witch Mountain", but I wasn't really interested in films like "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" or "Explorers".
Now I wished I did watch "Explorers" when I was 10 year's old, simply because it doesn't make much sense to watch it as a 40-year-old. It's a movie for children, and that's simultaneously its biggest default. Unlike other but similar movies, like "E. T." or Dante's own "Innerspace", there isn't a lot of entertainment here for adults. The plot of three outcast kids building a spaceship based on the recurring dreams of one of them, and then subsequently heading into the stratosphere and meeting up with the whackiest aliens in history, has very little to offer if you're over 12. True, the film never degenerates into sentimentality, and it is mildly fun to spot all the homages & references towards old Sci-Fi movies (Joe Dante's hobbyhorse), but irritation rapidly comes peeping.
Now I wished I did watch "Explorers" when I was 10 year's old, simply because it doesn't make much sense to watch it as a 40-year-old. It's a movie for children, and that's simultaneously its biggest default. Unlike other but similar movies, like "E. T." or Dante's own "Innerspace", there isn't a lot of entertainment here for adults. The plot of three outcast kids building a spaceship based on the recurring dreams of one of them, and then subsequently heading into the stratosphere and meeting up with the whackiest aliens in history, has very little to offer if you're over 12. True, the film never degenerates into sentimentality, and it is mildly fun to spot all the homages & references towards old Sci-Fi movies (Joe Dante's hobbyhorse), but irritation rapidly comes peeping.
Even more than for its (sort of) predecessor "The Kentucky Fried Movie", the term hit & miss seems invented for "Amazon Women on the Moon". The film is a compilation of sketches spoofing late-night American television, and the quality/entertainment value of the segments ranges from embarrassingly awful ("Roast Your Loved One") to downright genius ("Son of the Invisible Man"). Everything in between is also hit & miss, but at least always amusing to a certain degree.
For "Kentucky Fried Movie", John Landis sat in the director's seat while the scripts were from the unsurpassable ZAZ-team. For "Amazon Women on the Moon", Landis shares the director's credit with his buddies Joe Dante, Carl Gottlieb, Peter Horton, and Robert K. Weiss. Especially with Dante, Landis shares a passion for cheap 'n cheesy Z-grade Sci-Fi movies from the 1950s, and hence this also forms a recurring theme throughout the segments. There's an impressive list of B-movie actors and actresses participating (Henry Silva, Sybil Danning, Angel Tompkins, Russ Meyer, Paul Bartel, ...) but also a number of class-A Hollywood stars in hilarious roles (Michelle Pfeiffer, Rosanna Arquette, Steve Guttenberg, and the unearthly beautiful Kelly Preston).
Fun and worthwhile if you like B-movie exploitation cinema and the work of Dante & Landis, but definitely not the most laugh-out-loud hilarious comedy you'll ever watch.
For "Kentucky Fried Movie", John Landis sat in the director's seat while the scripts were from the unsurpassable ZAZ-team. For "Amazon Women on the Moon", Landis shares the director's credit with his buddies Joe Dante, Carl Gottlieb, Peter Horton, and Robert K. Weiss. Especially with Dante, Landis shares a passion for cheap 'n cheesy Z-grade Sci-Fi movies from the 1950s, and hence this also forms a recurring theme throughout the segments. There's an impressive list of B-movie actors and actresses participating (Henry Silva, Sybil Danning, Angel Tompkins, Russ Meyer, Paul Bartel, ...) but also a number of class-A Hollywood stars in hilarious roles (Michelle Pfeiffer, Rosanna Arquette, Steve Guttenberg, and the unearthly beautiful Kelly Preston).
Fun and worthwhile if you like B-movie exploitation cinema and the work of Dante & Landis, but definitely not the most laugh-out-loud hilarious comedy you'll ever watch.
There's a good reason why even the people from Flanders (in Belgium) have never heard of the movies that were made in Flanders during the 70s and early 80s. They are dull, and they look incredibly amateurish and cheap! Even where there's a potentially great basic plot idea - like definitely the case in "Golden Ophelia" - the film is a boring misfire.
"Golden Ophelia" revolves around a depressed florist who is under the supervision of the local police because he tried to commit suicide while this is forbidden by law if you have not submitted an official request for it. So, Stefan Pielek, obediently submits his request to kill himself, and meanwhile he gives away all his flower bouquets and hangs around in the city. He meets the woman of his dreams and rediscovers the joy of living again, but then - of course - his suicide request gets approved, and he MUST make an end to his life. Bummer!
Be honest ... Such a wonderfully sardonic and completely absurd plot could easily be processed into a compelling dystopian Sci-Fi movie, right? Something in the style of "Logan's Run" or "Z. P. G.", perhaps? Sadly, though, there is no trace of a totalitarian regime, let alone a futuristic setting! As far as I can tell, the film is simply set in Antwerp in the year 1974, and society functions normal, except for that one crazy rule about suicide. This absolutely doesn't make any sense! Write a script in which Stefan runs off with his woman and gets chased by brainwashed outcasts, pre-programmed police robots, or whatever! Instead, the - fortunately short - running time is filled with melancholic scenes, pointless guest appearances, and sad music. What a missed opportunity!
PS - I'm watching all these oldies from Flanders, Belgium, on a little-known and old-fashioned TV channel. It's called Eclipse TV, and their target audience are the residents of retirement homes. I'm beginning to think there's a conspiracy going on here... This particular TV-station, in agreement with the government, is showing dull movies to put these poor old folks to sleep for good. It's a slow and untraceable form of euthanasia via a TV screen!
"Golden Ophelia" revolves around a depressed florist who is under the supervision of the local police because he tried to commit suicide while this is forbidden by law if you have not submitted an official request for it. So, Stefan Pielek, obediently submits his request to kill himself, and meanwhile he gives away all his flower bouquets and hangs around in the city. He meets the woman of his dreams and rediscovers the joy of living again, but then - of course - his suicide request gets approved, and he MUST make an end to his life. Bummer!
Be honest ... Such a wonderfully sardonic and completely absurd plot could easily be processed into a compelling dystopian Sci-Fi movie, right? Something in the style of "Logan's Run" or "Z. P. G.", perhaps? Sadly, though, there is no trace of a totalitarian regime, let alone a futuristic setting! As far as I can tell, the film is simply set in Antwerp in the year 1974, and society functions normal, except for that one crazy rule about suicide. This absolutely doesn't make any sense! Write a script in which Stefan runs off with his woman and gets chased by brainwashed outcasts, pre-programmed police robots, or whatever! Instead, the - fortunately short - running time is filled with melancholic scenes, pointless guest appearances, and sad music. What a missed opportunity!
PS - I'm watching all these oldies from Flanders, Belgium, on a little-known and old-fashioned TV channel. It's called Eclipse TV, and their target audience are the residents of retirement homes. I'm beginning to think there's a conspiracy going on here... This particular TV-station, in agreement with the government, is showing dull movies to put these poor old folks to sleep for good. It's a slow and untraceable form of euthanasia via a TV screen!
Not necessarily claiming "El Arte de Morir" is a blatant rip-off, but let's see if the following plot description rings any bells... Six friends hide a terrible secret together. Four years ago, during a camping trip, they wanted to teach their obnoxious buddy Nacho a lesson, but of course it ended in a fatal accident. A new police detective has reopened Nacho's unsolved disappearance case, but while the six are being cornered by him, a ruthless killer also shows up and eliminates them one by one.
Given the plot and the release a few years after the big US slasher hit, one can only assume this is a Spanish cash-in of "I Know what you did last Summer". As a seasoned slasher lover, I personally have no problem with rip-offs, but they have to be entertaining and full of bloody violence and nudity. Now, "I know what you did Last Summer" was already not a high-flyer in the genre, and this "El Arte de Morir" is even less so, despite the fact that director Álvaro Fernández Armero tries hard to add a few unexpected and supernatural twists at the end. Without success.
The film suffers from a few things where unfortunately many slashers miss the mark. The so-called "friends" can't stand each other at all, and they make one idiotic and illogical decision after another. There is hardly any tension, the attempts to mislead the viewer are a mess, the murders are uninspired, and the acting performances are not convincing at all. Especially the male actors are weak, while the Spanish beauties Maria Esteve and Lucia Jimenez still portray decent and believable characters.
Given the plot and the release a few years after the big US slasher hit, one can only assume this is a Spanish cash-in of "I Know what you did last Summer". As a seasoned slasher lover, I personally have no problem with rip-offs, but they have to be entertaining and full of bloody violence and nudity. Now, "I know what you did Last Summer" was already not a high-flyer in the genre, and this "El Arte de Morir" is even less so, despite the fact that director Álvaro Fernández Armero tries hard to add a few unexpected and supernatural twists at the end. Without success.
The film suffers from a few things where unfortunately many slashers miss the mark. The so-called "friends" can't stand each other at all, and they make one idiotic and illogical decision after another. There is hardly any tension, the attempts to mislead the viewer are a mess, the murders are uninspired, and the acting performances are not convincing at all. Especially the male actors are weak, while the Spanish beauties Maria Esteve and Lucia Jimenez still portray decent and believable characters.
My personal vote in the category 'film genres that outstayed their welcome the most' goes to the so-called "Shoot 'em Up" movies. These are films with very thin plots and without any proper character development, but they primarily focus on non-stop violent action, excessively over-the-top gunfire, and a practically immeasurable body count. After 4 "John Wick" films and a whole bunch of other titles ("Crank", "Hardcore Henry", "Free Fire", "The Raid", "Taken", "Everly", ...), I think we've seen it by now. They can certainly be entertaining if you're in an undemanding mood, but they are quite unmemorable as well.
Then, why are you watching another? In my defense, I didn't know what "Nobody" was about when it came on television, and for sure I did not expect a shoot-em-up. I would known if I did my research, though, as director Ilya Naishuller previously made "Hardcore Henry", and Derek Kolstad scripted the original "John Wick". They sure fooled me by casting Bob Odenkirk...
"Nobody" has the same old been-there-done-that vibes as ALL the aforementioned titles. A seemingly boring and cowardly working-class family man gradually transforms back into the relentless & unstoppable hired assassin that he was many years before. The trigger is a burglary/home invasion that he didn't prevent from happening, and the subsequent unleashing of his anger and frustration - on a bus - results in a war with Russia's most deranged gangster. Oops.
What makes the film endurable are the fabulous soundtrack and the performances. Next to Odenkirk, we have two of my all-time favorite B-movie veterans Christopher Lloyd and Michael Ironside (although the latter is dreadfully underused). And, yes, of course the action sequences are dazzling and it's admirable that Bob did his own stunt work, but - quite frankly - we have seen these heavy artillery battles too many times already, and they become less exhilarating each time.
Then, why are you watching another? In my defense, I didn't know what "Nobody" was about when it came on television, and for sure I did not expect a shoot-em-up. I would known if I did my research, though, as director Ilya Naishuller previously made "Hardcore Henry", and Derek Kolstad scripted the original "John Wick". They sure fooled me by casting Bob Odenkirk...
"Nobody" has the same old been-there-done-that vibes as ALL the aforementioned titles. A seemingly boring and cowardly working-class family man gradually transforms back into the relentless & unstoppable hired assassin that he was many years before. The trigger is a burglary/home invasion that he didn't prevent from happening, and the subsequent unleashing of his anger and frustration - on a bus - results in a war with Russia's most deranged gangster. Oops.
What makes the film endurable are the fabulous soundtrack and the performances. Next to Odenkirk, we have two of my all-time favorite B-movie veterans Christopher Lloyd and Michael Ironside (although the latter is dreadfully underused). And, yes, of course the action sequences are dazzling and it's admirable that Bob did his own stunt work, but - quite frankly - we have seen these heavy artillery battles too many times already, and they become less exhilarating each time.
Of the eleven (11!) films that director Bruno Corbucci and lead actor Tomas Milian made together in the "Squadra/Delitto" series, THIS is the one I was looking forward to the most. Why? Because it's the only installment with a typical Giallo-plot... Of course, the film can't really compete with the great & genuine Italian Gialli from earlier in the 70s decade, but it's an enjoyable effort (albeit with a too exaggeratedly convoluted finale).
Back in good old Italy, after two adventures in the US of A, eccentric cop Nico Giraldi is investigating the bizarre murder of wealthy businessman Manfredo Ruffini. During a meeting on a boat with six associates, Ruffino got stabbed in the back during a power outage that only lasted 40 seconds. Every person in the room had a motive for killing the ruthless tycoon, so everyone is a suspect. Do you see the Giallo resemblance? Since there are so many prominent & influential suspects, the unorthodox Giraldi clashes with his superiors and he's also very obtrusive towards Ruffini's ravishing widow Eleonora.
The sequels in this series have evolved quite a lot. The first couple of films were downright infantile & vulgar slapstick comedies, but by now the jokes & comical situations are (slightly) more mature and often also quite funny. It's still a late 70s exploitation flick, though, so this means there are numerous sexist and racist jokes that will easily offend nowadays audiences. But hey, I'm generation X so I shamelessly laughed out loud a few times. It's not the best of the cycle, though. Check out "Squadra Antitruffa" and "Squadra Antigangsters" for that.
Back in good old Italy, after two adventures in the US of A, eccentric cop Nico Giraldi is investigating the bizarre murder of wealthy businessman Manfredo Ruffini. During a meeting on a boat with six associates, Ruffino got stabbed in the back during a power outage that only lasted 40 seconds. Every person in the room had a motive for killing the ruthless tycoon, so everyone is a suspect. Do you see the Giallo resemblance? Since there are so many prominent & influential suspects, the unorthodox Giraldi clashes with his superiors and he's also very obtrusive towards Ruffini's ravishing widow Eleonora.
The sequels in this series have evolved quite a lot. The first couple of films were downright infantile & vulgar slapstick comedies, but by now the jokes & comical situations are (slightly) more mature and often also quite funny. It's still a late 70s exploitation flick, though, so this means there are numerous sexist and racist jokes that will easily offend nowadays audiences. But hey, I'm generation X so I shamelessly laughed out loud a few times. It's not the best of the cycle, though. Check out "Squadra Antitruffa" and "Squadra Antigangsters" for that.
The original "Smile" - from 2022 - was definitely a nice surprise and a more than adequate horror movie, but nevertheless (like so often the case with horror movies nowadays) it was overhyped & overrated. But hey, it made a massive amount of profit and thus the (first) sequel came incredibly fast. "Smile 2" also was an instant box-office hit, so I guess we can prepare ourselves for another long series of sequels... which the climax of the movie also clearly implies.
Happy for writer/director Parker Finn, though, because for the second time in a row he delivered an intense shocker with macabre atmosphere and quite a few effectively terrifying moments. After two films, I must admit I still haven't fully figured out the plot yet... So, there's a sinister curse/demon that drives people to commit suicide with a big juicy smile on their faces. Moreover, it's contagious and the witness to the suicide of the last person inherits the curse. Via a low-key drug dealer, the curse gets transferred to the world-famous pop star Skye Riley; - sadly just before she's about to make her gigantic media-hyped comeback after a hellish year of rehab programs and a nasty car accident in which her boyfriend died. When Riley starts hallucinating and loses control, everyone naturally assumes she's using drugs again.
Parker Finn's choice to make his lead character a popular and eccentric singer was a very clever one. She's spoiled, arrogant, naïve, and she can't hide from her fans and social media accounts. Skye Riley is kind of like a crossbreed between Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga, so guys over forty (like me) won't feel any empathy for her, but she definitely appeals to younger audiences. "Smile 2" certainly contains a handful of excellent moments. There's gore, freaky stuff, and a shocking climax. Sadly, though, it's also predictable and following all the clichéd horror patterns (nobody believes the heroine, is it real or is it hallucinated, etc.).
Happy for writer/director Parker Finn, though, because for the second time in a row he delivered an intense shocker with macabre atmosphere and quite a few effectively terrifying moments. After two films, I must admit I still haven't fully figured out the plot yet... So, there's a sinister curse/demon that drives people to commit suicide with a big juicy smile on their faces. Moreover, it's contagious and the witness to the suicide of the last person inherits the curse. Via a low-key drug dealer, the curse gets transferred to the world-famous pop star Skye Riley; - sadly just before she's about to make her gigantic media-hyped comeback after a hellish year of rehab programs and a nasty car accident in which her boyfriend died. When Riley starts hallucinating and loses control, everyone naturally assumes she's using drugs again.
Parker Finn's choice to make his lead character a popular and eccentric singer was a very clever one. She's spoiled, arrogant, naïve, and she can't hide from her fans and social media accounts. Skye Riley is kind of like a crossbreed between Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga, so guys over forty (like me) won't feel any empathy for her, but she definitely appeals to younger audiences. "Smile 2" certainly contains a handful of excellent moments. There's gore, freaky stuff, and a shocking climax. Sadly, though, it's also predictable and following all the clichéd horror patterns (nobody believes the heroine, is it real or is it hallucinated, etc.).
Wow, I never would have thought one of my user-comment titles was going to be inspired by the lyrics of a Tokio Hotel pop-song...
While most of the world's eyes were focusing on the World Cup Football in 2018, an until then unknow team of 13-year-old football players in Thailand were faced with a far more challenging and life-altering quest. They get trapped in an underground network of caves, and when the monsoon rain showers fall down slightly earlier, they can't get out. Over the following days, the rain only gets heavier, and the rescue mission becomes practically impossible. Expert divers from the UK attempt to reach the stranded children, while local farmers and volunteers do whatever they can to lead the rainwater away from the numerous cave entrances.
Director Ron Howard did a magnificent job making "Thirteen Lives" a no-nonsense disaster film, so I will do my best to write a no-nonsense review. The film is long - nearly two and a half hours - and yet doesn't waste any time on irrelevant sub plots, background stories, or even melodrama and sentiments. From start to finish, it's fast-paced and edge-of-your-seat focus & suspense. The film, like the mission in 2018, is pure craftmanship you can only show great respect and admiration for. The performances are terrific as well. Viggo Mortensen, Colin Farrell, and Joel Edgerton know very well this isn't the most glamourous role of their careers, but they depict their real-life heroes with amazing integrity. It's almost unbelievable that a dramatic event such as this still had a relatively happy ending - with the exception of two Thai Navy divers who sacrificed their lives.
While most of the world's eyes were focusing on the World Cup Football in 2018, an until then unknow team of 13-year-old football players in Thailand were faced with a far more challenging and life-altering quest. They get trapped in an underground network of caves, and when the monsoon rain showers fall down slightly earlier, they can't get out. Over the following days, the rain only gets heavier, and the rescue mission becomes practically impossible. Expert divers from the UK attempt to reach the stranded children, while local farmers and volunteers do whatever they can to lead the rainwater away from the numerous cave entrances.
Director Ron Howard did a magnificent job making "Thirteen Lives" a no-nonsense disaster film, so I will do my best to write a no-nonsense review. The film is long - nearly two and a half hours - and yet doesn't waste any time on irrelevant sub plots, background stories, or even melodrama and sentiments. From start to finish, it's fast-paced and edge-of-your-seat focus & suspense. The film, like the mission in 2018, is pure craftmanship you can only show great respect and admiration for. The performances are terrific as well. Viggo Mortensen, Colin Farrell, and Joel Edgerton know very well this isn't the most glamourous role of their careers, but they depict their real-life heroes with amazing integrity. It's almost unbelievable that a dramatic event such as this still had a relatively happy ending - with the exception of two Thai Navy divers who sacrificed their lives.
There is one guarantee about "Silent Tongue" I can give you ... You have never seen a plot like this before. Not in a horror film, not in a western, and definitely not in a combo of both. It's a Shakespearian plunge into Indian mysticism vs. Rough & obnoxious cowboy behavior, and with the desolate landscapes and primitive nature elements playing an equally important role as the performers of flesh and blood.
Yeah, yeah ... you know what, though? I rather would have watched another two-thousandth slasher about a machete-wielding killer with a mask than this incredibly whiny, tedious, expansively melancholic, and snobbish dud of a film.
The story is about an obnoxious elderly cowboy who wants to buy the Indian half-breed daughter of an equally obnoxious and elderly traveling circus owner (slash medicine man, slash drunkard). The latter refuses, so the former kidnaps the girl, because he needs her to replace her sister who was married to his son but died in childbirth. Meanwhile, his son - River Phoenix in his penultimate role - is so heartbroken over the loss of his wife that he refuses to bury her and becomes hallucinatory.
Somehow, writer/director Sam Shepard (who's primarily an actor and should remain an actor) managed to turn his potentially fascinating premise into a boring and seemingly endless cinematic journey during which nothing even remotely interesting is happening. Richard Harris and Alan Bates already were two of my least favorite actors in history, and "Silent Tongue" only made it worse. Definitely a film to erase from my memory as soon as possible.
Yeah, yeah ... you know what, though? I rather would have watched another two-thousandth slasher about a machete-wielding killer with a mask than this incredibly whiny, tedious, expansively melancholic, and snobbish dud of a film.
The story is about an obnoxious elderly cowboy who wants to buy the Indian half-breed daughter of an equally obnoxious and elderly traveling circus owner (slash medicine man, slash drunkard). The latter refuses, so the former kidnaps the girl, because he needs her to replace her sister who was married to his son but died in childbirth. Meanwhile, his son - River Phoenix in his penultimate role - is so heartbroken over the loss of his wife that he refuses to bury her and becomes hallucinatory.
Somehow, writer/director Sam Shepard (who's primarily an actor and should remain an actor) managed to turn his potentially fascinating premise into a boring and seemingly endless cinematic journey during which nothing even remotely interesting is happening. Richard Harris and Alan Bates already were two of my least favorite actors in history, and "Silent Tongue" only made it worse. Definitely a film to erase from my memory as soon as possible.
Who depicted the most genuinely terrifying horror monster in the history of cinema? It's a matter of opinion, of course, but many genre lovers - myself included - will undoubtedly state it was Max Schrek in F. W. Murnau's original "Nosferatu" from 1922. That film monument is more than a century old by now, and although thousands of horror movies (including countless other vampire franchises and Dracula adaptations) were made since, Schrek's performance and persona still looks ultimately nightmarish and pure evil.
Ironically enough, the depiction of the titular character is the weakest aspect in Robert Egger's 2024 remake. I naturally didn't expect that Bill Skarsgard would put down an equally horrifying version of Nosferatu as Max Schrek - or as Klaus Kinski - but I also didn't think the new makeover would be this poor, pathetic, and downright laughable. Eggers & Skarsgard's Nosferatu looks like Jim Carrey's Ivo Robotnik from "Sonic the Hedgehog" with his oversized moustache, and both his voice and Slavic accent are excruciatingly painful to listen to. The scenes with Nosferatu, which should be the most intense and scariest ones, are the stupidest.
Shame, really, because Eggers' remake is otherwise a very respectable and atmospheric piece of Victorian horror. It's very slow-paced, and personally I think the film easily could (and should) have been half an hour shorter, but the sequences in Transylvania, at sea, and in the rat-infested German village are quite spooky.
Ironically enough, the depiction of the titular character is the weakest aspect in Robert Egger's 2024 remake. I naturally didn't expect that Bill Skarsgard would put down an equally horrifying version of Nosferatu as Max Schrek - or as Klaus Kinski - but I also didn't think the new makeover would be this poor, pathetic, and downright laughable. Eggers & Skarsgard's Nosferatu looks like Jim Carrey's Ivo Robotnik from "Sonic the Hedgehog" with his oversized moustache, and both his voice and Slavic accent are excruciatingly painful to listen to. The scenes with Nosferatu, which should be the most intense and scariest ones, are the stupidest.
Shame, really, because Eggers' remake is otherwise a very respectable and atmospheric piece of Victorian horror. It's very slow-paced, and personally I think the film easily could (and should) have been half an hour shorter, but the sequences in Transylvania, at sea, and in the rat-infested German village are quite spooky.
Typical... Whenever Coventry indulges in a TV/streaming hype, Coventry gets disappointed. I read so many - mostly positive - things about "Baby Reindeer" on Netflix, and it sounded quite interesting, but after two and a half episodes I was already bored beyond words.
The concept of the (true) story about an aspiring stand-up comedian being stalked by a lady - apparently a lawyer - whom he offered a free cup of tea at the bar where he works is intriguing, but lead protagonist Donny Dunn is so cowardly, spineless, and dumb that it rapidly becomes impossible to sympathize with him. And, obviously, you can't sympathize with stalker Martha Scott either, because she's unspeakably cuckoo. After barely 2 episodes, there's already a noticeable pattern. Martha stalks Donny with countless emails and text messages, Donny whines and complains to himself how he wishes Martha would disappear, but then his brain short-circuits and suddenly feels sorry for her and gives her hope again. And so, it starts all over again... Okay, in between Donny struggles also with his feelings for a transgender woman (Nava Tau - hands down the best actress and most amiable character of the series) and gets confronted with an oppressed trauma, but it's all so repetitive and uninvolving.
But hey, if you enjoy gazing at endless talking, feelings of vicarious shame, behavior that no sane person would ever show, never-ending procrastination, insufferably bad stand-up comedy, and five thousand spelling errors in text messages ... then be my guest!
The concept of the (true) story about an aspiring stand-up comedian being stalked by a lady - apparently a lawyer - whom he offered a free cup of tea at the bar where he works is intriguing, but lead protagonist Donny Dunn is so cowardly, spineless, and dumb that it rapidly becomes impossible to sympathize with him. And, obviously, you can't sympathize with stalker Martha Scott either, because she's unspeakably cuckoo. After barely 2 episodes, there's already a noticeable pattern. Martha stalks Donny with countless emails and text messages, Donny whines and complains to himself how he wishes Martha would disappear, but then his brain short-circuits and suddenly feels sorry for her and gives her hope again. And so, it starts all over again... Okay, in between Donny struggles also with his feelings for a transgender woman (Nava Tau - hands down the best actress and most amiable character of the series) and gets confronted with an oppressed trauma, but it's all so repetitive and uninvolving.
But hey, if you enjoy gazing at endless talking, feelings of vicarious shame, behavior that no sane person would ever show, never-ending procrastination, insufferably bad stand-up comedy, and five thousand spelling errors in text messages ... then be my guest!
One of the more acclaimed and publicly discussed horror movies of last year (2024) was "Longlegs", from actor-turned-writer/director Osgood Perkins. Many people and specialized horror magazines were wildly enthusiast, but also many people - whose opinions I trust even more - said it was an incredibly dull, slow-paced, and pretentious mess of a film that not even could be saved by the always-amazing Nicolas Cage. Because of second camp's opinions, I still haven't seen "Longlegs", but since some Perkins' earlier films are on Netflix, I figured it would be a good test.
Well, it looks like I won't be seeing "Longlegs" for yet a very long time ... if ever!
What an unbelievably boring movie this was! I know, I know ... decent ghost and/or haunted house movies are meant to be atmospheric and slow brooding, but here the pendulum definitely swung too far in the opposite direction! "I am etc. Etc." is one giant build-up without pay-off. The start is boring & derivative, with a young nurse moving into the house of an ailing female novelist. The middle-section is beyond tedious with the obvious discovery about the house hiding secrets of an ancient tragedy that also must have compelled the novelist. And, of course, the finale is every bit as unrewarding and dire as you fear it will be.
I certainly won't deny Ozgood Perkins (son of the legendary Anthony "Norman Bates" Perkins, by the way...) has talent and - especially - a great eye for detail. There are many little elements of beauty in "I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House". Rather than foreseeable jump-scares, Perkins opts for tiny omens like dust particles in sunlight or a nasty mold stain on the wall. It's admirable for a short while, but - in the end - we all like carnage, don't we?
Well, it looks like I won't be seeing "Longlegs" for yet a very long time ... if ever!
What an unbelievably boring movie this was! I know, I know ... decent ghost and/or haunted house movies are meant to be atmospheric and slow brooding, but here the pendulum definitely swung too far in the opposite direction! "I am etc. Etc." is one giant build-up without pay-off. The start is boring & derivative, with a young nurse moving into the house of an ailing female novelist. The middle-section is beyond tedious with the obvious discovery about the house hiding secrets of an ancient tragedy that also must have compelled the novelist. And, of course, the finale is every bit as unrewarding and dire as you fear it will be.
I certainly won't deny Ozgood Perkins (son of the legendary Anthony "Norman Bates" Perkins, by the way...) has talent and - especially - a great eye for detail. There are many little elements of beauty in "I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House". Rather than foreseeable jump-scares, Perkins opts for tiny omens like dust particles in sunlight or a nasty mold stain on the wall. It's admirable for a short while, but - in the end - we all like carnage, don't we?
The "Squadra Anti-(insert type of crime)" movie-cycle ideally underlines what I love so much about Italian cult-cinema from the 70s & early 80s period. They are wildly uneven and surprising. After the dull previous entry - "Squadra Antimafia" - I honestly presumed the series would only go further downhill, and yet this next sequel is another fun and vastly superior installment.
First, a little bit of context. "Squadro Antigangsters" is the fifth entry in a series of no less than eleven (!) comedy/crime crossbreed movies, written & directed by Bruno Corbucci and starring Tomas Millian as the rebellious and unorthodox cop Nick Giraldi. The films are relatively easy to trace thanks to a specific pattern in the titles. The first five are named "Squadra Anti" + a kind of criminal activity. "Anti-Kidnap Squad", "Anti-Theft Squad", "Anti-Swindle Squad", etc. The last five movie titles all start with "Delitto", so we have "Crime on the Highway", "Crime at the Chinese Restaurant", etc. Only the sixth film has a unique title and refers to a murder plot.
Nico Geraldi remained in New York after the previous adventure. He is supposedly no longer a cop and wants to focus on his greatest talent: setting up swindles and smuggling himself as a small-time crook. He ends up in the "business" as a debt collector for a mafia organization but finds out that his good friend Salvatore is up to his head in debt with his Pizzeria restaurant. To help him, he has to get money from the rich (but very ugly) daughter of the New York mafia imperium. Although she is still madly in love with Nico, Maria Sole is now engaged, and Nico discovers that her fiancé is stealing millions of dollars from the organization. If he can unmask him, Salvatore's debts will certainly be annulled...
"Antigangsters" has a much more engaging and structured plot than the previous films, and it makes great use of the locations in New York and - especially - exotic Florida, where Nico and Salvatore have to endure a chase on a motorboat in The Everglades, among other things. Of course, there is still a lot of humor in the film, but no more of the exaggerated slapstick and idiotic nonsense from the first films. A very funny moment is when Nico causes total traffic chaos after a car chase, while a gang of old people tell from the balcony of their retirement home how quiet, safe, and relaxing life in Miami is. There's a nice supporting role for the beautiful Asha Puthli (which really made me wonder why she hasn't acted in more films), a catchy soundtrack, and a nice twist at the end (which is already revealed and spoiled here on the website in the plot synopsis...)
First, a little bit of context. "Squadro Antigangsters" is the fifth entry in a series of no less than eleven (!) comedy/crime crossbreed movies, written & directed by Bruno Corbucci and starring Tomas Millian as the rebellious and unorthodox cop Nick Giraldi. The films are relatively easy to trace thanks to a specific pattern in the titles. The first five are named "Squadra Anti" + a kind of criminal activity. "Anti-Kidnap Squad", "Anti-Theft Squad", "Anti-Swindle Squad", etc. The last five movie titles all start with "Delitto", so we have "Crime on the Highway", "Crime at the Chinese Restaurant", etc. Only the sixth film has a unique title and refers to a murder plot.
Nico Geraldi remained in New York after the previous adventure. He is supposedly no longer a cop and wants to focus on his greatest talent: setting up swindles and smuggling himself as a small-time crook. He ends up in the "business" as a debt collector for a mafia organization but finds out that his good friend Salvatore is up to his head in debt with his Pizzeria restaurant. To help him, he has to get money from the rich (but very ugly) daughter of the New York mafia imperium. Although she is still madly in love with Nico, Maria Sole is now engaged, and Nico discovers that her fiancé is stealing millions of dollars from the organization. If he can unmask him, Salvatore's debts will certainly be annulled...
"Antigangsters" has a much more engaging and structured plot than the previous films, and it makes great use of the locations in New York and - especially - exotic Florida, where Nico and Salvatore have to endure a chase on a motorboat in The Everglades, among other things. Of course, there is still a lot of humor in the film, but no more of the exaggerated slapstick and idiotic nonsense from the first films. A very funny moment is when Nico causes total traffic chaos after a car chase, while a gang of old people tell from the balcony of their retirement home how quiet, safe, and relaxing life in Miami is. There's a nice supporting role for the beautiful Asha Puthli (which really made me wonder why she hasn't acted in more films), a catchy soundtrack, and a nice twist at the end (which is already revealed and spoiled here on the website in the plot synopsis...)
Simply referring to this film as "Vampires on a Plane" (and thus hinting it's a rip-off of "Snakes on a Plane") would be too blunt and disrespectful. "Blood Red Sky" is much better and more entertaining than I expected, and easily 10-15 times better than most of the horror/splatter outings available on Netflix.
Action in the form of a plane hijacking, and a lot of bloodshed and horror because of vampires that are constantly expanding in number. Sounds like a daring combo, but why not? It worked very well in "From Dusk till Dawn", and despite the names involved in this production being much less talented and well-known, it works here as well.
The very timid and introverted Nadja travels with her extraordinarily intelligent son Elias on a night flight to New York in the last hope of a treatment for her illness. Actually, she's not ill, she's just slowly turning into a vampire... How it came to this point is told in flashbacks. They have the misfortune that their flight is hijacked by terrorists (without a clear goal), but her vampirism soon turns out to be the only weapon to fight this scum. And then a nice twist: one of the terrorists - a completely deranged psychopath - will literally do anything to get bitten by Nadja and become a vampire himself.
Two hours (and a few minutes) is too long for a horror/splatter movie, and especially for one about vampires at high altitudes. Several of the subplots, such as all the ones with stereotype profiles of passengers (the grumpy old man, the Muslim wrongly accused of terrorism, the obnoxious business-class man, ...) weren't necessary. Still, director/co-writer Peter Thorwath keeps the pace high, and makes brilliant use of the limited but interesting spaces on an airplane. The special effects and gory make-up are a bit too computer-engineered for my taste, but it could be worse.
Action in the form of a plane hijacking, and a lot of bloodshed and horror because of vampires that are constantly expanding in number. Sounds like a daring combo, but why not? It worked very well in "From Dusk till Dawn", and despite the names involved in this production being much less talented and well-known, it works here as well.
The very timid and introverted Nadja travels with her extraordinarily intelligent son Elias on a night flight to New York in the last hope of a treatment for her illness. Actually, she's not ill, she's just slowly turning into a vampire... How it came to this point is told in flashbacks. They have the misfortune that their flight is hijacked by terrorists (without a clear goal), but her vampirism soon turns out to be the only weapon to fight this scum. And then a nice twist: one of the terrorists - a completely deranged psychopath - will literally do anything to get bitten by Nadja and become a vampire himself.
Two hours (and a few minutes) is too long for a horror/splatter movie, and especially for one about vampires at high altitudes. Several of the subplots, such as all the ones with stereotype profiles of passengers (the grumpy old man, the Muslim wrongly accused of terrorism, the obnoxious business-class man, ...) weren't necessary. Still, director/co-writer Peter Thorwath keeps the pace high, and makes brilliant use of the limited but interesting spaces on an airplane. The special effects and gory make-up are a bit too computer-engineered for my taste, but it could be worse.
Thanks to a little-known and old-fashioned TV channel in my country (that admittedly has the residents of retirement homes as their main target group), I am rapidly becoming an expert in the domain of ancient films from Flanders - Belgium - that nobody has ever seen!
The question is if these obscure titles deserve to be seen, and in the case of "Kasper in de Onderwereld" the answer is a plain and simple: NO! It's a very dull and thoroughly unremarkable tale about a 30-ish mentally unstable man on an (endless?) search for his lost love. Is she dead? Did she even exist? We're not sure. He meets a lot of unusual people throughout his journey, and they are all surprisingly friendly and helpful. I didn't expect this, since the Dutch title translates as "... in the underworld", but everyone treats the protagonist with kindness and respect. So, basically, the film exists of lead character Kasper talking endlessly with a cemetery caretaker, a prostitute, a retired alchemist, a tavern owner, a construction site signalman, another mental patient pretending to be a journalist, etc...
Nothing exciting happens, really, and the film is only remotely interesting to see a handful of famous Flemish actors/actresses in their younger years, and to catch a glimpse of how typical communities in the Belgian countryside harmoniously lived together.
The question is if these obscure titles deserve to be seen, and in the case of "Kasper in de Onderwereld" the answer is a plain and simple: NO! It's a very dull and thoroughly unremarkable tale about a 30-ish mentally unstable man on an (endless?) search for his lost love. Is she dead? Did she even exist? We're not sure. He meets a lot of unusual people throughout his journey, and they are all surprisingly friendly and helpful. I didn't expect this, since the Dutch title translates as "... in the underworld", but everyone treats the protagonist with kindness and respect. So, basically, the film exists of lead character Kasper talking endlessly with a cemetery caretaker, a prostitute, a retired alchemist, a tavern owner, a construction site signalman, another mental patient pretending to be a journalist, etc...
Nothing exciting happens, really, and the film is only remotely interesting to see a handful of famous Flemish actors/actresses in their younger years, and to catch a glimpse of how typical communities in the Belgian countryside harmoniously lived together.
What on earth was this? I never encountered a movie that I had to start over watching so many times, and for various reasons. Sometimes I fell asleep (although not tired), but I often also caught myself gazing at the screen without actually absorbing what was going on. The few times my viewing got interrupted for whatever reason, I also had to start again from scratch because I totally forgot what I had seen until then. Whenever the "play"-button "The Ninth Configuration" got pressed, my mind went into a hypnosis of some sort.
Anyway, after the 11th attempt - or so - I reached the end credits, and the first thought that spontaneously popped into my brain was: why did I even bother? "The Ninth Configuration" seemingly has everything I adore about cult cinema, like a phenomenal cast, an isolated and ominous Northern castle-setting, and plot themes such as post-war trauma syndromes and insanity. And yet, this inexplicably was the dullest and most preposterous bunch of blah-blah I ever sat through.
The rudimentary (yet brilliant) idea behind William Peter Blatty's novel & film is that the US government wants to find out if Vietnam soldiers (and one astronaut) are faking mental insanity by institutionalizing them in a remote castle and unleashing the hardened army shrink Colonel Kane upon them. If you ask me, they are all faking. Why? Because I guarantee you have never seen such clichéd and stereotypical nutcase behavior as here in this movie! These "patients" go over-the-top so badly it becomes a farce. They scream & shout, play scenes from movies, simulate Shakespeare plays, steal each other's clothes, act as if they have multiple personalities, and wildly tear up entire rooms! In fact, the only thing missing were little funnels on their heads. Or basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs & toes; - like in the song by Napoleon XIV.
With all due respect for Blatty (he did create "The Exorcist", after all) and the dedicated cast-members, "The Ninth Configuration" is nearly unwatchable. The script is exaggeratedly talkative but doesn't share much information about the odd Col. Kane and his background, there is the abstract mixing of dreams & reality, endless philosophizing about religion and evil, and only after three quarters of the running (!) there's a glimpse of action. Ironically, violence prevails in the end, so what is the point. I don't understand why other reviewers praise Stacy Keach's performance, because he talked in a monotonous voice the whole time and didn't have any facial expressions.
Is it me who - once again - didn't capture the brilliance and missed out on a true masterpiece of cinema? Quite possible... but my honest movie-loving opinion is that "The Ninth Configuration" is one of the most annoying films I ever struggled through.
Anyway, after the 11th attempt - or so - I reached the end credits, and the first thought that spontaneously popped into my brain was: why did I even bother? "The Ninth Configuration" seemingly has everything I adore about cult cinema, like a phenomenal cast, an isolated and ominous Northern castle-setting, and plot themes such as post-war trauma syndromes and insanity. And yet, this inexplicably was the dullest and most preposterous bunch of blah-blah I ever sat through.
The rudimentary (yet brilliant) idea behind William Peter Blatty's novel & film is that the US government wants to find out if Vietnam soldiers (and one astronaut) are faking mental insanity by institutionalizing them in a remote castle and unleashing the hardened army shrink Colonel Kane upon them. If you ask me, they are all faking. Why? Because I guarantee you have never seen such clichéd and stereotypical nutcase behavior as here in this movie! These "patients" go over-the-top so badly it becomes a farce. They scream & shout, play scenes from movies, simulate Shakespeare plays, steal each other's clothes, act as if they have multiple personalities, and wildly tear up entire rooms! In fact, the only thing missing were little funnels on their heads. Or basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs & toes; - like in the song by Napoleon XIV.
With all due respect for Blatty (he did create "The Exorcist", after all) and the dedicated cast-members, "The Ninth Configuration" is nearly unwatchable. The script is exaggeratedly talkative but doesn't share much information about the odd Col. Kane and his background, there is the abstract mixing of dreams & reality, endless philosophizing about religion and evil, and only after three quarters of the running (!) there's a glimpse of action. Ironically, violence prevails in the end, so what is the point. I don't understand why other reviewers praise Stacy Keach's performance, because he talked in a monotonous voice the whole time and didn't have any facial expressions.
Is it me who - once again - didn't capture the brilliance and missed out on a true masterpiece of cinema? Quite possible... but my honest movie-loving opinion is that "The Ninth Configuration" is one of the most annoying films I ever struggled through.
In case you worship bleak & nightmarish dystopian Science-Fiction tales, like yours truly does, there isn't a better story to stumble upon than "Logan's Run"!
The concept, based on a novel by William F. Nolan & George Clayton Johnson, is pure dystopia, with a civilization in the year 2274 living in a giant dome that is fully computer-controlled and guarded by brainwashed security agents referred to as Sandmen. People are categorized based one age and dress accordingly in a specific color. Sex with a partner can be ordered via the television and all the people gather every couple of weeks for a spectacle known as "The Carrousel". For you see, the tricky part about life at the dome... Nobody is allowed to live longer than 30, and the Carrousel is a ritual in which people are supposedly prepared for rebirth. Sure...
Of course, some people try to run prior to their 30th birthday, and it's the task of the Sandmen to eliminate these "Runners". Logan, a dedicated Sandman with only 4 more years left, falls in love with the rebellious Jessica and discovers a whole new world outside the bubble...
Brilliant concept, lavish sets & gimmicks, terrific performances, excellent Jerry Goldsmith score, and an ominous atmosphere that I haven't witnessed since "Soylent Green" or "Z. P. G.". "Logan's Run" was unstoppably becoming a brand-new personal favorite of mine, until... Well, quite frankly, until Logan and Jessica set foot outside the secured area and the whole darn thing turns into a corny, silly, and downright boring mess. First there's an overlong battle with a goofy robot, then the outside world turns out to be a flourishing oasis of green instead of a post-nuclear wasteland, and finally they bump into a bewildered Peter Ustinov who yaps and mumbles endlessly about his parents. I know dystopian Sci-Fi tales tend to get preachy and overly moralizing towards the end, but here it's too exaggerated. All the fun ruined.
The concept, based on a novel by William F. Nolan & George Clayton Johnson, is pure dystopia, with a civilization in the year 2274 living in a giant dome that is fully computer-controlled and guarded by brainwashed security agents referred to as Sandmen. People are categorized based one age and dress accordingly in a specific color. Sex with a partner can be ordered via the television and all the people gather every couple of weeks for a spectacle known as "The Carrousel". For you see, the tricky part about life at the dome... Nobody is allowed to live longer than 30, and the Carrousel is a ritual in which people are supposedly prepared for rebirth. Sure...
Of course, some people try to run prior to their 30th birthday, and it's the task of the Sandmen to eliminate these "Runners". Logan, a dedicated Sandman with only 4 more years left, falls in love with the rebellious Jessica and discovers a whole new world outside the bubble...
Brilliant concept, lavish sets & gimmicks, terrific performances, excellent Jerry Goldsmith score, and an ominous atmosphere that I haven't witnessed since "Soylent Green" or "Z. P. G.". "Logan's Run" was unstoppably becoming a brand-new personal favorite of mine, until... Well, quite frankly, until Logan and Jessica set foot outside the secured area and the whole darn thing turns into a corny, silly, and downright boring mess. First there's an overlong battle with a goofy robot, then the outside world turns out to be a flourishing oasis of green instead of a post-nuclear wasteland, and finally they bump into a bewildered Peter Ustinov who yaps and mumbles endlessly about his parents. I know dystopian Sci-Fi tales tend to get preachy and overly moralizing towards the end, but here it's too exaggerated. All the fun ruined.
Strictly speaking in terms of viewing conditions, this was probably my worst experience ever. The only version of "Taxi Killer" I was able to track down is a lousy VHS-rip, and the original tape was obviously heavily damaged. The screen turns to black quite often, there's wear and tear from start to finish, the sound regularly vanishes, and one of the characters kept talking in Italian without subtitles. If you're reading this, good people at Arrow Video or 88 Films, "Taxi Killer" is a perfect next title to release on a fancy Blu-Ray DVD edition!
Despite the terrible quality, I persevered, because I absolutely wanted to see this feminist vigilante/rape-and-revenge thriller directed by Stelvio Massi. Me loves the hundreds and thousands of "Death Wish" rip-offs; - especially when they're Italian and have a few creative gimmicks (like the vigilantes being female cab drivers, for instance).
On her first night as a yellow cab driver, Jenny Sullivan gets robbed, beaten, and raped by four thugs. The police don't do anything, not even when poor Jenny - and her parents - continue to get harassed by the rapists who have all her data from the stolen purse. When the scum also burns Jenny's father alive, she forms a posse with the only other five female taxi drivers in Chicago to hunt and kill them. Curiously enough, the police do have enough resources to look for the vigilantes...
"Taxi Killer" has a good first half but gets boring rather quickly. Of course, there are only so many ways you can kill someone by using a taxi, and thus the action is quite monotonous. With 105 minutes, the film is far too long for an exploitation B-movie. It's fun and definitely recommended to admirers of Italian trash, but I would wait for a proper DVD-version first.
Despite the terrible quality, I persevered, because I absolutely wanted to see this feminist vigilante/rape-and-revenge thriller directed by Stelvio Massi. Me loves the hundreds and thousands of "Death Wish" rip-offs; - especially when they're Italian and have a few creative gimmicks (like the vigilantes being female cab drivers, for instance).
On her first night as a yellow cab driver, Jenny Sullivan gets robbed, beaten, and raped by four thugs. The police don't do anything, not even when poor Jenny - and her parents - continue to get harassed by the rapists who have all her data from the stolen purse. When the scum also burns Jenny's father alive, she forms a posse with the only other five female taxi drivers in Chicago to hunt and kill them. Curiously enough, the police do have enough resources to look for the vigilantes...
"Taxi Killer" has a good first half but gets boring rather quickly. Of course, there are only so many ways you can kill someone by using a taxi, and thus the action is quite monotonous. With 105 minutes, the film is far too long for an exploitation B-movie. It's fun and definitely recommended to admirers of Italian trash, but I would wait for a proper DVD-version first.
Franco was mostly known and (in)famous for his ultra-sleazy and semi-pornographic exploitation movies, which span over a period of five decades. What fewer people know, or even downright refuse to admit, is that he also made approximately a dozen of truly great, atmospheric, suspenseful, and well-scripted horror movies. That may not be a lot out of more than 200 films directed, but still... "The Awful Dr. Orlof", "The Diabolical Dr. Z", and "Faceless" are fantastic movies. "Faceless", "Night of the Skull", "Bloody Moon", "Sadist Baron Von Klaus", and "The Bloody Judge" are really good movies.
"Un Silencio de Tumba" is NOT a good movie, unfortunately, but at least it's entertaining, and - moreover - an effort that entirely depends on story and atmosphere/suspense rather than on nudity and sex. It's a sleaze-free Franco from the 1970s, and that alone is quite remarkable!
The film can best be labelled as a (Spanish) giallo! There's the isolated setting, a group of obnoxious & extravagant people who deserve to die, guests behaving exaggeratedly suspicious (and clearly are not the killer), and a culprit with melancholic motivations. My biggest complaint is that the kills are sadly bloodless and not nearly as imaginative as in other contemporary Gialli - mostly from Italy - and that the characters are deliberately insufferable. All of them!
And to close off; - a bit of fun! It's always good to learn a few things that you didn't know before via watching a film! Jess Franco's "Un Silencio de Tumba" even taught me three things! #1: apparently the more people get who killed in your surroundings, the less worried you become. It's weird. After the initial kidnapping and first murder, everyone at the house is in a panic, but when there are only two or three people left near the end, they seem to deal quite calmy and relaxed with the discoveries of new bodies. #2: a kidnapped 9-year-old is something you forget easily when there is also a killer at large. The story begins with the abduction of a child, and only later a killer shows up and eliminates the adults one by one. The missing child is hardly even mentioned anymore, until the lead actress suddenly remembers him again after the climax. "Oh, right... Christian!". #3: giving in to lesbian desires gets you killed accidentally. One of the female victims wasn't targeted by the killer, but since she requested to sleep together with another woman in her room, she gets mistakenly killed. What a bad timing to come out of the closet.
"Un Silencio de Tumba" is NOT a good movie, unfortunately, but at least it's entertaining, and - moreover - an effort that entirely depends on story and atmosphere/suspense rather than on nudity and sex. It's a sleaze-free Franco from the 1970s, and that alone is quite remarkable!
The film can best be labelled as a (Spanish) giallo! There's the isolated setting, a group of obnoxious & extravagant people who deserve to die, guests behaving exaggeratedly suspicious (and clearly are not the killer), and a culprit with melancholic motivations. My biggest complaint is that the kills are sadly bloodless and not nearly as imaginative as in other contemporary Gialli - mostly from Italy - and that the characters are deliberately insufferable. All of them!
And to close off; - a bit of fun! It's always good to learn a few things that you didn't know before via watching a film! Jess Franco's "Un Silencio de Tumba" even taught me three things! #1: apparently the more people get who killed in your surroundings, the less worried you become. It's weird. After the initial kidnapping and first murder, everyone at the house is in a panic, but when there are only two or three people left near the end, they seem to deal quite calmy and relaxed with the discoveries of new bodies. #2: a kidnapped 9-year-old is something you forget easily when there is also a killer at large. The story begins with the abduction of a child, and only later a killer shows up and eliminates the adults one by one. The missing child is hardly even mentioned anymore, until the lead actress suddenly remembers him again after the climax. "Oh, right... Christian!". #3: giving in to lesbian desires gets you killed accidentally. One of the female victims wasn't targeted by the killer, but since she requested to sleep together with another woman in her room, she gets mistakenly killed. What a bad timing to come out of the closet.
"Christina's House" is a horror movie typical for its era of release. The genre's output was far from great during the late-90s/early 2000s, but crews and (especially) casts did their stinking best to make the films mysterious and attractive. This effort from the unknown director Gavin Wilding is poor, forgettable, and quite preposterous in terms of script and plot twists, but it's also undeniably compelling thanks to a curiously unsettling atmosphere and plenty of weirdo characters.
Stunningly beautiful Christina Tarling seems to live a carefree, like any 17-year-old girl should, but she has a few concerns on her mind. She lives in a rental house in remote Washington (the state) but must look after her younger brat of a brother because her father combines two jobs. Her mother is in a mental hospital, her intrusive boyfriend only thinks about sleeping with her, her diary keeps disappearing from the drawer, and there are strange noises coming from the attic at night! Unlike the title implies, the problem isn't so much the house... It's all the weirdoes that surround cute Christina. Her father is the worst. He glances at his daughter and grabs her unexpectedly by the waist like no father ever should; regardless of how gorgeous she looks. Apart from the obsessively horny boyfriend and idiot kid brother, there's also a socially incapable handyman and a really uncanny cop. Oh, and did I mention that innocent young girls are being killed off in and around the house?
The film tries to be a mix between grisly slasher and clever whodunit but sadly fails at both. The kills are either off-screen or bloodless, and none of the red herrings or attempts to mislead the viewer regarding the killer's identity have any effect. In the end, the culprit is the person whom you expected from the very first second. And yet, there are fun little details that make "Christina's House" worth watching. The final act (= end battle with the killer) is long but fairly suspenseful, and there's the ingenious gimmick of a trapdoor leading to a cool circle-saw death trap! And, of course, there's Christina herself. Actress Allison Lange is ravishing in a role that would have gone to Kirsten Dunst or Alicia Silverstone if it hadn't been a cheap B-movie. Miss Lange also isn't too shy to show a bit of naked flesh, and even when she's dressed in tank tops the camera is always fixated on her perky nipples.
Stunningly beautiful Christina Tarling seems to live a carefree, like any 17-year-old girl should, but she has a few concerns on her mind. She lives in a rental house in remote Washington (the state) but must look after her younger brat of a brother because her father combines two jobs. Her mother is in a mental hospital, her intrusive boyfriend only thinks about sleeping with her, her diary keeps disappearing from the drawer, and there are strange noises coming from the attic at night! Unlike the title implies, the problem isn't so much the house... It's all the weirdoes that surround cute Christina. Her father is the worst. He glances at his daughter and grabs her unexpectedly by the waist like no father ever should; regardless of how gorgeous she looks. Apart from the obsessively horny boyfriend and idiot kid brother, there's also a socially incapable handyman and a really uncanny cop. Oh, and did I mention that innocent young girls are being killed off in and around the house?
The film tries to be a mix between grisly slasher and clever whodunit but sadly fails at both. The kills are either off-screen or bloodless, and none of the red herrings or attempts to mislead the viewer regarding the killer's identity have any effect. In the end, the culprit is the person whom you expected from the very first second. And yet, there are fun little details that make "Christina's House" worth watching. The final act (= end battle with the killer) is long but fairly suspenseful, and there's the ingenious gimmick of a trapdoor leading to a cool circle-saw death trap! And, of course, there's Christina herself. Actress Allison Lange is ravishing in a role that would have gone to Kirsten Dunst or Alicia Silverstone if it hadn't been a cheap B-movie. Miss Lange also isn't too shy to show a bit of naked flesh, and even when she's dressed in tank tops the camera is always fixated on her perky nipples.
At what point does watching a movie become a duty - or even a burden - rather than pure entertainment? After the dull, unsurprising, and particularly overlong "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes", I wasn't very motivated to see the even longer "War for the Planet of the Apes". And yet, my slightly autistic side urges me to complete film franchises, and I was admittedly also curious to find out if everything eventually links back to the almighty original "Planet of the Apes" from 1968.
As feared, "War for..." is a dull and massively overrated film. My (personal) main issue with both "Dawn" and "War" is that these movies - and everyone who was involved in the cast or crew - take the whole concept much too seriously. They pretend to be landmarks and masterpieces of epic proportions, while they're basically just crazed-out dystopian Sci-Fi movies. Or that is what they should be, at least. The plot of this installment, as bluntly summarized in the review's subject title, is nothing more (or less) than a tale of hatred & revenge. Ape leader Caesar does everything he can to end the war with the humans, which the angry chimpanzee Koba started in the previous film, but he bumps into the vile and relentless Colonel. When The Colonel kills Caesar's wife and son, all of his noble intentions for peace and co-existence turn into pure hatred.
That is the rudimentary plot, and it's actually quite cool! A simple and straightforward revenge thriller of ape vs. Man in a post-apocalyptic setting. Why make a bigger deal out of it? Instead, the script makes martyrs out of both Caesar and The Colonel, and there are sub plots about the military enslaving the apes, treacherous gorillas choosing the human's camp, and the fearsome Simian Virus mutating. The latter twist is interesting with regards to connecting with the original series and completing the circle. The mutated virus causes for people to lose their speech and intellect. Even when immune to the original form of the virus, people fall victim to the virus and their level of intellect is reduced to that of a ... primate. In the year 3955, when Charlton Heston crashed with his spaceship, he encountered "primitive" human that we're being hunted for sports and enslaved by the superior apes. Could it be the downfall of the human race originates from this 2026 (?) virus-mutation?
As feared, "War for..." is a dull and massively overrated film. My (personal) main issue with both "Dawn" and "War" is that these movies - and everyone who was involved in the cast or crew - take the whole concept much too seriously. They pretend to be landmarks and masterpieces of epic proportions, while they're basically just crazed-out dystopian Sci-Fi movies. Or that is what they should be, at least. The plot of this installment, as bluntly summarized in the review's subject title, is nothing more (or less) than a tale of hatred & revenge. Ape leader Caesar does everything he can to end the war with the humans, which the angry chimpanzee Koba started in the previous film, but he bumps into the vile and relentless Colonel. When The Colonel kills Caesar's wife and son, all of his noble intentions for peace and co-existence turn into pure hatred.
That is the rudimentary plot, and it's actually quite cool! A simple and straightforward revenge thriller of ape vs. Man in a post-apocalyptic setting. Why make a bigger deal out of it? Instead, the script makes martyrs out of both Caesar and The Colonel, and there are sub plots about the military enslaving the apes, treacherous gorillas choosing the human's camp, and the fearsome Simian Virus mutating. The latter twist is interesting with regards to connecting with the original series and completing the circle. The mutated virus causes for people to lose their speech and intellect. Even when immune to the original form of the virus, people fall victim to the virus and their level of intellect is reduced to that of a ... primate. In the year 3955, when Charlton Heston crashed with his spaceship, he encountered "primitive" human that we're being hunted for sports and enslaved by the superior apes. Could it be the downfall of the human race originates from this 2026 (?) virus-mutation?
Although I was only 12 at the time, I remember that "Close" caused a bit of controversy and a minor scandal here in the native country of Belgium. The reason was that lead-actress Katia Alens does several nude scenes, but she got crowned as Miss Belgium only two years before the film. Most beauty contest winners from that era (late 80s - early 90s) went for a career as TV-hostess or fashion model, but Alens wanted to strip off her clothes in B-movies. Good for her, I don't see what the problem is. Anyway, the controverse went over quickly, probably because "Close" is a lousy movie and because Alens can't act at all. Nice body, though...
"Close" is a mess of a film. Writer/director Paul Collet begins with a solid and potentially tense idea of a law-student becoming obsessed with a woman after he witnessed how she gets arrested by immigration service officers at the airport. He ditches his studies, friends and long-time girlfriend in favor of stalking the woman in the red-light district where she works and even marries her to obtain the Belgian nationality. But she - Angelica - comes with a backpack full of issues, as she turns out a fugitive guerilla warrior from Southern America.
What could have been a fair attempt to make our very own Belgium erotic thriller (a contemporary popular genre) ends up being a dull and confusing charade with absurd elements (doppelgangers, deliberate HIV-spreading, ...), pitiable stereotypes (like South American dictators) and preposterous dialogs. Oh, and Mrs. Alens, she wisely decided not to pursue an acting career after this.
"Close" is a mess of a film. Writer/director Paul Collet begins with a solid and potentially tense idea of a law-student becoming obsessed with a woman after he witnessed how she gets arrested by immigration service officers at the airport. He ditches his studies, friends and long-time girlfriend in favor of stalking the woman in the red-light district where she works and even marries her to obtain the Belgian nationality. But she - Angelica - comes with a backpack full of issues, as she turns out a fugitive guerilla warrior from Southern America.
What could have been a fair attempt to make our very own Belgium erotic thriller (a contemporary popular genre) ends up being a dull and confusing charade with absurd elements (doppelgangers, deliberate HIV-spreading, ...), pitiable stereotypes (like South American dictators) and preposterous dialogs. Oh, and Mrs. Alens, she wisely decided not to pursue an acting career after this.
"Squadro Antimafia" is the fourth entry in a series of no less than eleven (!) comedy/crime crossbreed movies, written & directed by Bruno Corbucci and starring Tomas Millian as the rebellious and unorthodox cop Nick Giraldi. The films are relatively easy to trace thanks to a specific pattern in the titles. The first five are named "Squadra Anti" + a kind of criminal activity. "Anti-Kidnap Squad", "Anti-Theft Squad", "Anti-Swindle Squad", etc. The last five movie titles all start with "Delitto", so we have "Crime on the Highway", "Crime at the Chinese Restaurant", etc. Only the sixth film has a unique title and refers to a murder plot.
As I feared, the quality and entertainment level of the sequels is rapidly decreasing. The first three were fun & refreshing, but the fourth one is dull & uninspired, and I honestly don't know if I'll make it until the end of the franchise this way. The surprise effect of Milian's vulgar and foul-mouthed semi-cop/semi-thug character has vanished entirely, the gags are derivative and lame, and there practically isn't any action. During a riot in an Italian prison, a gangster dressed as a police officer shoots and kills an important witness of an upcoming mafia trial. Giraldi is put on the case, and his search leads him to New York and Las Vegas (where remarkably many people speak Italian) and where he must infiltrate in the family of mobster Don Gerolamo Giarri. The latter is depicted by the great and legendary Eli Wallach, who clearly didn't read the script in advance.
Apart from a handful of moments providing modest chuckles, like Milian smearing a greasy pizza in the face of the Don's henchman or the running gag of Milian running from the Don's unattractive spinster-daughter, "Squadro Antimafia" is a terribly dull and forgettable effort.
As I feared, the quality and entertainment level of the sequels is rapidly decreasing. The first three were fun & refreshing, but the fourth one is dull & uninspired, and I honestly don't know if I'll make it until the end of the franchise this way. The surprise effect of Milian's vulgar and foul-mouthed semi-cop/semi-thug character has vanished entirely, the gags are derivative and lame, and there practically isn't any action. During a riot in an Italian prison, a gangster dressed as a police officer shoots and kills an important witness of an upcoming mafia trial. Giraldi is put on the case, and his search leads him to New York and Las Vegas (where remarkably many people speak Italian) and where he must infiltrate in the family of mobster Don Gerolamo Giarri. The latter is depicted by the great and legendary Eli Wallach, who clearly didn't read the script in advance.
Apart from a handful of moments providing modest chuckles, like Milian smearing a greasy pizza in the face of the Don's henchman or the running gag of Milian running from the Don's unattractive spinster-daughter, "Squadro Antimafia" is a terribly dull and forgettable effort.