The Horde

MTP Murder Torture Porn type movie. Has a few redeeming one liners but wow is it otherwise stupid. Hillbillies and escaped convicts bought the cops and are cooking meth and living like Kings in the bayou or something. In comes John Rambo and his wife to be and her students and a love fest ensues.

Boring.

3/10.

The Horde was recommended to me by a friend - turns out I watched the wrong movie.

The acting is terrible and the horror movie tropes are laid on thick in this movie. A young Sydney Sweeney stars as the titular (heh) character and star student in this campy, and frankly unintentionally hilarious horror movie where a commando soldier accompanies his teacher fiancé in a field trip gone wrong.

Laughably bad, but worth watching with friends as part of a line up of bad movies that you can talk over. I wonder what the budget for this film was.

We were laughing that Sydney Sweeney's character plays the virginal good girl character in this. A far cry from her roles in pretty much every other movie or show she's been in.

When I sat down to watch the 2016 movie "The Horde" here in 2024, I was unfamiliar with the movie. And I actually thought it was a zombie movie. Yeah, I hadn't heard about the movie prior to sitting down and watching it here for the first time.

Writer and leading actor Paul Logan put together a rather generic script. It was an odd combination of a traditional young adult in the woods type of movie mixed with elements of deranged hillbilly killers roaming the woods. Sure, it was watchable, but you're not in for anything grand or innovative here. It was, in a lack for a better term, a rather generic hillbilly slasher flick. Writer Paul Logan didn't really bring anything great to the genre, that haven't already been seen in movies such as "The Hills Have Eyes", "Wrong Turn" and the like.

The movie started out pretty nice, but then the balloon sort of deflated and you have to venture more than 30 minutes into the movie before things start to pick up.

There are some familiar faces on the cast list, in bigger and smaller roles, with the likes of Paul Logan, Costas Mandylor, Bill Moseley, Don Wilson, Sydney Sweeney and Vernon Wells. I was initially rather thrilled when I saw Bill Moseley's name on the screen, but unfortunately he only had a minor support role in the movie. The acting in the movie were fair.

Visually then the movie was okay. There were some visceral killing scenes that sort of managed to spruce up an otherwise generic and bland storyline a bit. So thumbs up for that accomplishment.

I have to say that the movie's title, "The Horde", was poorly chosen, as there was no horde in the movie. So it just made absolutely no sense. And it definitely wasn't a zombie movie, which I initially believed it was.

My rating of director Jared Cohn's 2016 movie "The Horde" lands on a five out of ten stars.

By that I mean that Logan has quite the ... pecs! Not sure how old he is, but that body of his ... respect to the man! And by bad Mandylor I'm obviously refering to the moral of his character as in evil. You may have heard of those two, you likely have heard of some other actors who only grace the screen for a small amount of time, like Don Wilson or Bill Moseley. Easy money I assume for them and something to recognize for the viewers who care.

The movie is not really good overall, very predictable, not the best fight choreography and all that. But it also is not the worst thing I've seen (and not just because I just finished watching cats ... that's a different story alltogether) ... not even close. Logan seems to have a signature kick move, it's been a while since I last saw a movie of his. Anyway, if you are into B-movie stuff, you might find something interesting for you. A beautiful location for example all things considered.

It appears to be the be first script that Paul Logan has written, which probably explains the excessive martial art fighting scenes involving himself and opportunities to take off his top! ha ha The horde was obviously made on a pretty small budget and considering this, I don't want to slam it too much. The movie as a whole is kind of weird mash up of Rambo, Universal Soldier and perhaps a pinch of Deliverance meets House of 1000 Corpses? As an intended horror, I don't think its particularly scary in any way but its got some good gore factor in there for you in that's your thing. The teacher to student talk about being a virgin was an obvious set up for a B movie unneeded gang rape which was pretty cringe worthy and I guess in place for the lack of frights to this movie. The story itself is pretty shaky and doesn't really develop past being in the woods and in danger. The direction of the stereotypical characters in scenes is not the best nor is the explanation for these weird people being in the woods doing what their doing in the first place. However, the whole point of this film is obviously to get to the kicking arse part of the movie where the Rambo type character of John Crenshaw gets to descend on the town, does his arse kicking and attempt to rescue his group. I would say that on a budget the SFX are actually pretty good surprisingly. It was worth a watch in short but it wont need a second viewing.