Yoga Hosers

Yoga Hosers (2016)

* (out of 4)

Friends Colleen (Lily-Rose Depp) and Colleen (Harley Quinn Smith) are invited to a Senior party but they end up having to work at the local convenient store. They invite the boys back to the store for a party by they're attacked by some Nazi sausages.

Yes, writer/director Kevin Smith has followed the ultra-bizarre TUSK up with an even stranger movie that isn't nearly as creative. You know, I got the great opportunity to see Smith in person during one of his "conversations" and he's a terrific and fun guy. I mean, you gotta admire the man for what he has accomplished in his career and during the chat he talked about people questioning him and that he will do the type of films that he wants. I really, truly and 100% respect that and I admire any filmmaker who wants to take chances and do weird things.

With that said, just because I respect the filmmaker doesn't mean that I'm going to enjoy the picture. Sadly, YOGA HOSERS is a really awful movie that doesn't work on any level outside of being weird, strange and in all reality original. Yes, Nazi sausages are on display here and you've got to at least admit that you've never seen that before. The problem is that Smith's screenplay is just weird and for a comedy it's never funny. That's the most shocking thing to me because Smith is one of the best dialogue writers out there yet this film just seems flat and lifeless.

I don't know if the point of this film is to give his daughter and Depp's daughter a film to go and if perhaps Daddy Smith and Daddy Depp are just here having some goofy fun. Perhaps that's the case but you still have to have some sort of laughs. At just 89-mintues the film is rather short but it drags on to the point where around the twenty-minute mark I was already looking at my clock. I will say that the two leads are actually good together and have a nice chemistry, which just makes you wish even more that they had something better to work with. Johnny Depp returns to his role from TUSK and adds to the weirdness.

YOGA HOSERS is just another flat out weird movie but sadly this one here isn't nearly as effective as TUSK. With the lack of laughs this movie is pretty much dead in the water, which is really too bad.

In the 90's, Kevin Smith became an icon with "Clerks", "Malllrats" "Chasing Amy" and "Dogma". Unfortunately along his next works, he has never reached the same success again.

"Yoga Hosers" is probably the bottom of his career, with an unfunny and annoying story. His daughter and Johnny Depp's daughter acting are terrible and they only had this chance because of the influence of their fathers with the producers. The name of Johnny Depp is embarrassing and used to lure the viewers. In the end, "Yoga Haters" is a means to spend 88 minutes of your life watching a comedy without laughing. My vote is one (awful).

Title (Brazil): Not available

Would have worked better as a "Grindhouse" type film. I can tell this was supposed to be comedy, but almost every joke fell flat. There were only minor amusing moments, but they were so scattered across the run time that your search for them would not even be worth it.

I wish Kevin Smith wouldn't do all the science fiction elements, because they don't blend well with the established tone. And It makes everything more ridiculous to be honest. I would have enjoyed a more down to Earth comedy. If you wanna keep the weird monsters and over the top scientists, then set the tone up better from the start. Because the first act is like a cheap Rom- com. It just takes you by surprise when it switches gears. I don't have anything against the Avantgarde genre, but here it just didn't work well.

What are the positives? There's an entertaining flashback scene with Haley Joel Osment. He is completely over acting and it's one of the few scenes which could be funny to some people. Johnny Depp shows up, and his ex-wife and two of his kids (one is playing the lead) as well. Even Kevin Smith's daughter co-stars. So, this is a family film? Maybe it is nice to see these two families be friends and make a funny movie together. You can see they all had fun and they are not taking it seriously for one second.

It feels like the Depp's and the Smith's were just hanging out for a weekend and just for the fun of it decided to make a movie. They invited a few friends too. I guess it's all an in-joke to them, but for the rest of the world? Not so much.

At first I gave it a chance... I have seen some bad films in the past and endured them to the end but I honestly could not continue the painful experience that this film put me through for 28min. I did skip forward a few times in hope it might get to the point. I doubt though that anyone involved actually knew what the film was a bout. Confusing and badly executed.... I think one star is fair due to it being unwatchable for me... good luck to anyone that makes it to the end.

Kevin Smith definitely didn't shoot for the moon, or aim to make this for everyone, or even most...he made this for his fans from the Podcast, and to give his daughter an avenue to stretch her new found skills.

The movie is fun. the performances in it all shine at different moments...the two standouts being Johnny Depp as Guy Lapointe and Tony Hale as Lily-Rose Depp's Dad...Solid and funny.

The girls grew on me after awhile...which was surprising, only to the fact that watching teen girls on their phones and chatting back and forth...in real life can be annoying...But Smith makes it funny, and paced well.

Overall...if the preview intrigues you...see it.

If not...it's OK to skip...it's not for you.