Halloweed

I like to give indie films a lot of credit because its not easy to get a film completed. But wow. I have no idea what I watched. It took me multiple attempts to get through the whole thing. From a technical standpoint this was a big swing and a miss. The acting was so painful that not a single joke landed. This was a plot that could have been a big hit in the early 2000's with a much stronger script and a better team. I wish I wasn't sucked in by the title of the movie, it's the only element that works.

If you are one for a raunchy, goofy comedic adventure then this film will sit with you very well. With that being said, this isn't a movie striving to be nominated for an academy award in any sense of the term and therefore it shouldn't be treated that way, rather it's perfect if you are in the mood for many late night laughs with your buddies, toked up or sober. The blend of the personalities behind Trent and Joey drive the movies comedic value considering the fact that they're polar opposites for the most part, but at times are the same person making the audience love their bond that much more. Both Shannon Brown and Simon Rex do a great job of fulfilling their individual roles. I've seen Brown play some pretty intense roles in the past, this role was quite the departure from those, but he was still great carrying the lead role, Trent. The other lead, Simon Rex, played a character that he's probably used to playing, although probably not a stretch for him, he still absolutely delivered a strong performance. Most of the supporting cast is good, a nice balance of witty and sane characters throughout the plot. Lloyd, played by Robert Craighead, really stood out from all the other supporting players, he was a riot. The plot is kind of hard to follow during the first part of the movie, but as the film nears its ending it gradually clears up more and more which is one of my few and minor complaints about this film as a comedy. Overall, the film does a great job of doing what I believe it aimed to accomplish.

I went into this film thinking it was a horror film mainly because of the poster which is misleading and a very poor choice for this type of film. Real horror fans will not like this film. This is a Halloween comedic horror spoof film, like something from the 80s which is actually pretty cool. There are definitely some issues with this movie but I'm gonna start with the positives. The writing seems solid, although I don't know that the director properly executed it. Some of the jokes really land and some seem a bit dated. The editor didn't do the script any favors either, some of the scenes seem rushed and others seem to drag on and the opening animation is way too long.

The cast, for the most part, is the highlight of this film. The story follows the two leads, half brothers Trent and Joey. The main lead (Shannon Brown) is a sad, kinda pathetic everyday regular type of guy, Trent, who just can't seem to catch a break. Brown has emerged over the last couple of years, this is actually the 4th film that I've seen him in. There is a genuine, honest and raw component to his acting, which is very appealing. I've seen him play a variety of different characters in other projects, he's certainly someone to keep an eye on. With that said, I think he would have been smart to pass on this one. His comedic timing is certainly sharp and he does a fine job of carrying the film, but I don't think his character was really all that challenging, especially compared to other roles I've seen him nail in the past. The other lead, Joey, is Trent's half wit, half brother played by Simon Rex. It has been quite a while since I've seen Rex in a film and it was worth the wait. This role was perfect for him and he really did a bang up job of bringing his character to life in a unique twisted way. The penis jokes, closet homosexual humor and overall goofball antics were embraced and flawlessly executed by Rex. The chemistry between the two brothers as leads was definitely on point, it was the highlight of the entire movie. I look forward to seeing both of these guys in their upcoming work.

The supporting cast was strong, very strong for the most part. My main reason for picking up this film is my obsession with the genius that is Ray Wise. I've seen everything he's ever done and was not about to make this film the exception. Although I wish his role was bigger, Mr. Wise was great to no one's surprise I'm sure.

The casting director really hit a home run on this one, the leads were great and so was the supporting cast, for the most part. Tom Sizemore, Jason Mewes, Wise, Jim O'Heir, Robert Craighead were all perfectly cast. Even Danny Trejo was great, although it seems like he is in every indie film out right now. I don't know if he owes some money or if his agent has incriminating black mail junk on him, but the poor guy has to learn the phrase "No thanks, I'll pass". The two hapless cops played by Lester Speight and Deja Dee were fantastic, perhaps my favorites among this strong supporting cast.

Unfortunately there were a couple of "wtf happened here" moments regarding the supporting cast. Connor, played by Jason Bernard, is just bad. Imagine if E did a "Where are they now" on a Ken doll 30 years later and those 30 years were not kind at all. An overweight, plastic looking blob, with a horrible dye job that sounds like he is talking with a mouth full of marbles. I was a bit perplexed by this mis step by an otherwise brilliant casting director. So I did a little digging on IMDb and figured it out rather quickly. Bernard is the owner of the production company responsible for this film, so he clearly just cast himself in this role and the director and casting director had no choice. Digging a little more I noticed his "known for" on IMDb, a crappy webseries, Family Values, that appears to have been shot on a VHS camcorder. Another self funded project by his production company, JR productions. This misfortune of a project also stars his friend, Michelle Mueller who just happens to play the hero's love interest in Halloweed. Then it all clicked, we've seen this tactic before. Bernard is attempting to buy an acting resume for him and his friend, Mueller, as both of their resumes consist of self funded garbage. This has been tried many, many times before and it never, ever works. When we see these two on screen we are instantly taken out of the story and the film goes off the rails. Mueller is simply not attractive enough to play the lead's love interest that allegedly motivates him to move to a whole new town. Although her acting is not nearly as horrible as Bernard's, it's still not strong enough to compensate for her run of the mill, bland look. Normally I would never be so shallow in my criticism, but the type of genre of film that Halloweed represents requires a little more eye candy, especially if the actress is playing your hero's love interest. You are not doing yourself a favor as a producer and funder when you force yourself and your underwhelming friend into the supporting cast of your own movie, a great way to burn a few hundred thousand. Sorry for the rant, but that type of crap drives me nuts, it's a slap in the face to real, hardworking talented actors and filmmakers.

Halloweed would have greatly benefited from a more experienced comedic director/post team, as well as a producer that wasn't trying to buy an acting career for himself and his friend.

I'm a fan of these types of comedy which have aired on weekends in my rural region of the world since I was a child. So if the humor is childish then nostalgia washes over me. In the same vein as Cheech and Chong or Harold and Kumar or whatever that Egyptian stoner duo is I've seen ads for in my hotel on Jordan. I love those two

If you don't know that coming in you're going to be disappointed. It stars Danny Trejo, machete himself, and a guy from Scary Movie. That should be your first clue

As for the production value it's fine. They show editing skills I don't have and the shot with the semi was clearly storyboarded and blocked

Movies are for fun. So if you like Reefer Madness or Half Baked and immature humor and fun, this is for you.

Halloweed is difficult to review because it's bad in so many ways. The cheap production value is the most noticeable detriment. The sets, props, and wardrobe look like they were slapped together for a student film. Meanwhile, the juvenile script is a close runner-up. The core idea of a stoner-slasher movie is fun, but the actual execution is embarrassing. The dialogue is stupid, the story is obvious, and the jokes are for fourteen-year-olds. On top of that, entire scenes serve no purpose beyond failed humor and padding the runtime. Lastly, there isn't enough characterization of our main protagonist. He is meant to be a relatable everyman but he is a bland, blank slate.

The acting is painfully bad as well. Much of that can be blamed on the material, but there are definitely stuttered lines and awkward pornstars. Plus, there are several technical issues like shots cutting off the tops of characters' heads, washed out lighting, tacky sound effects, and distracting musical covers. All in all, Halloweed is such a symphony of cinematic shortcomings that it's actually kind of impressive. However, that isn't an endorsement. There are better funny-bad movies to laugh at.

Writing: 1/10 Direction: 1/10 Cinematography: 1/10 Acting: 1/10 Editing: 3/10 Sound: 3/10 Score/Soundtrack: 2/10 Production Design: 1/10 Casting: 2/10 Effects: 1/10

Overall Score: 1.6/10.