Jurassic Prey

Wow, this thing was bad. Bad acting, poor camera work, bad story.

But, the worst was the "special" effects. Now I know this didn't have much of a budget, but I have seen high school kids make some pretty realistic CGI stuff.

This used a big guy in a horribly made suit, worse than old Godzilla movies, and then for full body shots of the dinosaur, it looked like a claymation dinosaur that didn't look anything like the suit version. And the way the dinosaur was spliced into the scenes when it interacted with humans will just make you laugh.

The depth of field was so messed up, they didn't even look like they were near each other. Oh, man....

You should probably just check this out only so you can laugh at the dinosaur scenes. It's pretty entertaining in itself!

I have very few positive things to say about "Jurassic Prey". Like most dinosaur flicks from the last few years, it's neither a good movie nor a so-bad-it's-good movie. It probably isn't one of the absolute worst movies I've ever seen, but I'm fairly sure it is somewhere in the "bottom 100" I have watched. It is one of the worst of the prehistoric genre and should be avoided or watched with extremely minimal expectations and some hard liquor.

The cast is generally awful in uninteresting ways; there are in fact ways B-movies can save a poor script with colorful characters and/ or colorful character actors, and this movie doesn't attempt to give us anyone to really care or root for, let alone laugh at. The visual effects are hilariously bad, however I cannot condemn them to the degree some reviewers have. Yes, the puppetry and stop-motion is not commendable, but I still prefer it over most of the cheap CGI in low budget dino-flicks the last few years. In fact I was bothered far more by other effects, such as the bad digital flames, blood, and gun flares among other poorly-executed shots.

If there were at least a few more redeeming elements (better gore, characters, and script for starters), I'd elevate my rating to a "3" or "4"; as it is, a "2" feels fairly generous.

So... Where on earth to start.

The film is on the level of most first year film students... the bad ones...

• Acting: Ugh... imagine you got a bunch of stoners together to act when they were completely baked out of their minds.

• Script: I've read better children's picture books. Half the time the sentences don't even make sense and the other half, due to poor use of intonation, something that SHOULD have made sense... suddenly doesn't.

• Lighting: Non-Existent. Unless it's the flashlight. But i still don't think that counts.

• Camera-work: Hmmm... you know in this day and age it's not THAT expensive to buy a Go-Pro etc. It was clearly filmed on a cam-corder - something you can see in the reflection of windows in almost every shot. This is why the car's windows are wound eternally down in almost every scene.

• Editing: Geez, don't get me started. Effects remaining across cuts, re-using scenes and there's SO MANY bad edits as the film progresses. There is the dreaded "black frame" of a failed edit point on many occasions - Seriously, the news can get it right every day of the year, yet they couldn't get it right for a one off release. This is the sort of most BASIC mistakes you'd be warned about in the first month of media class in high school… clearly the editor dropped out before said lesson.

• Continuity: Forget it. Don't even try. It just doesn't work. In one scene she's trying to open the door to the Jeep but can't. They move the shot inside the car to show her looking at the door which is CLEARLY UNLOCKED. You can see the old school locking bolt standing tall - like a defiant middle finger to the director.

• Music: Score was pretty good... for something that was probably downloaded for free in a highly compressed format. There was simply no consistency to the tracks or on how they were used. It also just wasn't used at the right times, such as a violin track used for about 15 seconds of exposition and then used again for a death scene. Most of the time it seems like someone put the soundtrack on shuffle, went "Yup that'll do" and then proceeded to turn the volume up and down at random intervals.

• Effects: now THIS is the big one. WHY OH WHY do you need THREE DIFFERENT DINOSAUR MODELS??? The first one was rubbish and the next 2 are even WORSE. It's completely pointless! At the end of the film it seems like the actor is fighting off 3 entirely different fake dinosaurs - and all of them are worse quality than what you'd find in a box of cereal. I honestly could have created better visual effects for them with a toy T-Rex and a piece of GREEN CARD... And this was outsourced to a company...

Oh and watch for the bit where they stretch the dinosaur overlay so it's "facing the right way" *Director Hint: It's still not* and then forget to remove it for the next transition so suddenly the dinosaur is staring at it's own tail for a minute.

*Sigh* I honestly can't go on.

FINAL THOUGHTS: All I can say is this film's ONLY PURPOSE TO EXIST, is to make Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" look like an Oscar Contender for Best Picture.

This is a Polonia Brothers film ... number 40-something. How the hell do they keep getting them published with mistakes a high schooler could fix in a matter of an hour?

If you enjoyed this, it might be worth getting your eyes checked... or coming down from whatever you're on. I'd say watch it again sober, but it wouldn't make the pile of excrement any better.

You know what they say - "you can polish a turd, but it's still a turd... and now you're still holding it in your hand."

For more bad acting, poor scripts and silly effects check out "Solid State". It's just as bad but they actually hired an editor and it's in Italy... so I guess that's nice. Oh and that turd has sprinkles.

And i thought Tomboys was bad. Sharknado is excellent compared to this.I like watching old Godzilla movies, zombies and such but this..this isn't even funny. even my little sister has watched enough movies to make a better one than this, with her cellphone and a budget of a weeks worth of lunch money to bribe some kids to act, and one to give up his toy barney. This is what happens when everyone brings their cellphone to the cottage and you run out of beer with 3 days of vacation left. I can ignore how all these people ended up at this remote cottage or how they all handle their guns like a 5 year old, I can even ignore the horrible acting (Godzilla had better acting even with sub titles)but i can not ignore the horrific CGI. Right from the start, slashing and splatter like a very cheap old video game. My vote out of 10: One. Nice cottage.

some genius decided to try and make a movie by joining a bunch of videos clips together shot from i would guess is, judging by the image quality, their android phone and tried to pass it off as something other that pure garbage. 4.8 score? really? let me guess the cast and crew all voted on their own film to "pad" the IMDb vote count, pathetic. this is by far the worst movie i have ever watched for less than 5 minutes of, but it was actually closer to about 20 seconds that i knew this was utter trash, sad. this is where i actual begin to feel pity on the folks involved with this joke of a project. stick to doing whatever else it is you do. leave movie making up to the professionals, and for heavens sake don't release it.

PLOT "A group of people brought together through a twist of fate hide out in a remote cabin, unaware that a ferocious monster roams the surrounding area."

ridiculous toy baby dino....er monster

just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.