O Conto dos Contos

Greetings again from the darkness. Fairy tales have long been a fruitful source for movie material. Some, like Disney productions, land gently on the family/children end of the scale; while others like the Brothers Grimm material are much darker and adult in nature. And now, along comes director Matteo Garrone and his blending of three stories loosely based on the 17th century tales published by Giambattista Basile … and "black comedy" falls short as a description.

Mr. Garrone is best known for his chilling look at an Italian crime family in the award winning Gomorrah (2008), so a trilogy of demented monarchial fantasies may seem a bit outside his comfort zone … but grab ahold of your crown jewels and be ready for just about anything.

A very strong opening leads us into the first story about a King (John C Reilly) and Queen (Salma Hayek) who are by no one's definition, the perfect couple. The Queen's inability to have children leads her to strike a deal with a Faustian seer who promises a baby to the royal couple. The only catch is that the King must kill a sea monster, and the Queen must eat its heart after it's properly prepared by a virgin. Yep, it's pretty dark and pretty odd. Of course, as with all actions, there are consequences (albino twins of different mothers) … some of which are not so wonderful.

The second story involves a lecherous King (Vincent Cassel) who falls in love with a local woman based solely on her singing voice. Much deceit follows and the actions of two sisters (played by 3 actresses – Hayley Carmichael, Stacy Martin, Shirley Henderson) and some supernatural aging products lead to a twisty story of romance that can't possibly end well for anyone involved.

The third of our 3-headed story is the strangest of all, as a King (Toby Jones) nurtures a pet flea until it grows to behemoth size. Yes, a pet flea would be considered unusual, but eclipsing even that in uniqueness is the King's willingness to offer the hand of his daughter (Bebe Cave) in marriage to a frightening ogre who lives a solitary life in the mountains.

These three stories are interwoven so that we are bounced from one to another with little warning … which seems only fitting given the material. Knowing the theme of the three stories does not prepare one for the details – neither the comedy, nor the dramatic turns. All actors approach the material with deadpan seriousness which adds to the feeling of a Grimm Brothers and Monty Python mash-up.

Alexandre Desplat provides the perfect score for this oddity, though the audience may be limited to those who can appreciate grotesque sequences assembled with the darkest of comedy. The moral to these stories may be difficult to quantify; however, it's a reminder that actions beget consequences no matter the time period.

It's a fantastic audio-visual journey that takes you into a world of medieval fantasies full of all the classical elements but with fresh stories and views. If you enjoy the work of Paolo Sorrentino (2013 Oscar for "La grande bellezza") you will love this film for it's masterful craft of building a world within. Only Salma Hayek delivers a disappointing performance: Stiff and uninspired. Pictures, music as well as sound design and costumes (not to mention the practical effects) are all stunning! Italy (with the help of France and the UK) delivers once again a masterpiece on the very tight budget of only 12 million €uros while the rest of European cinema is sleeping.

Matteo Garrone has finally strode into the international territory after the success of his last two features, GOMORRAH (2008) and REALITY (2012). TALE OF TALES debuted this year in Cannes' main competition category and is based on a collection of tales from Giambattista Basile's PENTAMERONE in the 17th century.

The film contains 3 tales, happen in 3 different kingdoms (Darkwood, Stronghold and Highmountain) with authentic locations in Italy, three grandiose castles where human frailties fester between a queen and her son, two elder sisters and a king and his daughter. Garrone doesn't shy away from the gory and chilling elements in the rather dark fairy tales, each tale encompasses its own distinctively dreadful shocker, either an underwater battle against an aquatic dragon and the ensuing devour of its heart, a bat-like monster aiming for slaughter, a blood-sucking flea growing into an abnormally giant size, a primitive ogre running amok or a flayed old hag stained in blood, for sure, they are for adults only.

The tale in Darkwood is about a queen's possession of her adolescent son, a mother's love is unconditional, but unwisely she demands the same from the young prince, however, fate binds him with an identical-looking brother (they were born at the same day under the magic of the dragon heart) and they becomes inseparable, when the queen realises her love cannot be reciprocated, she has to resort to a necromancer to settle the score once for all. Hayek stimulates a possessed urgency in her performance as the queen, again proves that she is unjustly underused in Hollywood as an exotic bombshell only.

In Stronghold, it is a tale about youth and lust, two crone sisters, one of them seduces the king with her youthful voice, but is thrown out of the window when her unsightly appearance is discovered, then being unconsciously rejuvenated by a witch's milk, she transforms into a gorgeous beauty and charms her way to be the new queen, but when her sister badgers to stay with her in the palace, her off-hand lie will lead her sister to experience the inhuman cruelty so as to achieve the same effect, only in vain, eventually her deceitful front will dissolve sooner or later. Here, Shirley Henderson upstages the rest of the line-up with her gravitating persistence and pathos-occasioning commitment as the other sister.

The Highmountain tale, a king indulges on his petty hobby, which boomerangs on the marriage of his only daughter, who is married off to an gruesome ogre under his oath, then the young princess must learn from desperation about how to retrieve her freedom using her own hands, a potent feminist manifesto, led by an engaging performance from the newcomer Cave as the princess, also Jones is pretty solid as the king, whose approachable personality makes him more human in a tall-tale.

There is no denying Garrone is further perfecting his exquisite aesthetics in constructing such a grand scale where everyone is donned with gorgeous period costumes, the surreal ingredients are brilliantly crafted too (e.g. the unwieldy underwater shooting is realistic- looking albeit it is obvious not real), and Desplat's score is as captivating as ever. But a jarring dissonance comes from the dialogue, maybe because it is all interpreted in English, or it is adapted from fairy tales written centuries ago, a sense of frustration transpires whenever the characters are hampered by their very limited lines (notably for Hayek and Henderson, both are tremendously evocative, yet all the words they can utter fail to embody that), repetitious, tedious and uninspiring. Sometimes words don't have to mean anything, but if one must use them, use them wisely, otherwise, it will be a drag on the entire film. All three tales are crisscrossed into a coherent narrative, one has no difficulty to understand the plain condemnations beneath each tale and places favourite as one feels, in short, this film is indeed a cinematic spectacle on its own terms, one should not miss.

Warning; I am going to gush heavily about this movie because, yes, it is one of the most impressive films I have seen in my entire life.

I saw this movie being advertised on a West Village theater marquee and I thought, why not, having no idea what the film was about. The poster was provocative, and piqued my interest as someone that enjoys horror, blood and gore. Yes, there are some horrific elements, some segments that might be considered "gory" (but even those that are sensitive shouldn't have much trouble getting through it), and it is certainly bloody in some spots. None of it is excessive, and all of it is integral to the story. Essentially, everything about it was so expertly crafted as to be a modern masterpiece.

The cinematography, the costuming, the acting, the writing, the music, the manner in which the tales interweave to create a wholly unique form of anthology film. I mean, not since The Fall (or more recently, Crimson Peak) have I fallen so head over heals in love with the way a film is presented. I marveled, literally mouth agape, at how utterly beautiful everything in this movie transpired. The costumes looked like they were borrowed from a museum, and the special effects blended seamlessly into the live action (to the point where you wonder if CG was even necessary if they were able to accomplish what they did using practical effects). There are animatronics, there are full-body old age make-up, there are full-blown set pieces created for this movie; I mean, it's a film buff's dream! You will be hard pressed to find a more visually stunning film made this decade. The budget for this movie could easily been in the millions, and it shows in every facet of its production.

Honestly, I could not recommend this movie more. It is quite literally the equivalent of the Sistine Chapel in film form. Don't read anything about it, don't see the trailer and just watch the film. Nothing will prepare you for the sheer spectacle that this 2 hour film will provide. It is, quite literally, a moving Renaissance painting crafted by the most talented of artists. It is nothing short of a work of the highest caliber and deserves as much exposure as it can possible obtain.

This is not your average princess and prince tales, it is a series of the grim version of myths without warm Disney filter. The multiple stories are woven together in one underlying tragic theme, occasionally wicked Tale of Tales is definitely not for children. The most vexing thing about it is not the scandalous tale, but the slow pacing as it tries to deliver three nearly horror stories.

The focus continuously shifts between monarchs from three separate kingdoms. Each of them is affected by equally peculiar plaguing events. One queen's over protective nature rules over her senses, a king's lust leads to mishap in bed and a princess' wedding becomes malady as she faces an ogre as the groom.

Its screenplay is mixed feeling of innocence remnant and utter perversion. There's a good quality of cast to ensure overall bizarre atmosphere, and make no mistake, these stories can be downright disturbing for some. The director even adds a couple gore scenes or rather appalling instances which are shockingly unexpected, even more so considering the colorful setting.

Visual is very good, the medieval vibe simply oozes from the scenery. It resembles a lively stage for dramatic play yet feels convincingly dreadful enough. Production, from make-up and costume, looks captivating and sometimes intimidating. As many TV series or movies adapt modernization of fairy tales, this one is more memorable with the eccentric outlook and more modest on CGI usage.

However, it can be a bit slow. The three stories span across more than two hours, so it takes its time. Fortunately, it sets the characters really well, but on the flip side, some of scenes feel plodding. Tales of Tales might resemble the iconic Pan's Labyrinth at some turns, although it's still not on such legendary stature.

This movie is certainly not for everyone. The mixture of odd fables and near horror elements leave strange lasting trail, it might not be all merry party yet it's enigmatically and irresistibly bewitching.