Reaprendendo a Amar

Carol Petersen (Blythe Danner) is a widow of 20 years and a retired singer in a band. She has a simple life and her circle of friends (June Squibb, Rhea Perlman, Mary Kay Place). They want her to move into the retirement community. Her dog dies of old age. She starts a friendship with the new pool guy Lloyd (Martin Starr). He's a poet graduate and living with his mother. Bill (Sam Elliott) is the new love in Carol's life. Her daughter Katherine (Malin Akerman) comes for a visit.

A high June Squibb is hilarious. This is a rather light easy story. Blythe Danner is incredible. She encompasses every part of this movie. Her internal struggles even before she has them are all very effective. It's a quietly powerful performance.

... is old age. Even though it is the most powerful movie villain of them all and takes many of our favorite actors away before their time.

This film is mainly for fans of Ms. Danner. Wait. Let me explain. Usually when a reviewer makes such a comment it is a negative. No it is not. That is this reviewer's heartfelt view and it is a fair one.

As a film, as a movie competing with 100s of 1000s of other movies for pride of place in the minds of viewers present and future, this film is simply OK.

It is a fairly well-paced and fairly authentic look at the oddities and awkwardness of growing old (a topic of acquired taste UNLESS YOU ALREADY ARE OLD) and holds up really well until the last 30 minutes when the writer simply can no longer control himself, and a lot of strange and improbable and non-authentic things suddenly start to happen.

But as a vehicle for Ms. Danner's fans, it is a joy. For those with short memories, Ms. Danner brought a certain light and energy and beauty to her many films and frankly she was missed. Another IMDb reviewer perhaps sums it up better than we do -- "she is in every scene" the reviewer said, and the message was clear.

Meanwhile that aforementioned silent villain moves on. For students of film -- and of Life -- there is a short scene with Max Gail. Not only was he a major TV star in his day, but he was considered so macho that they used him for shaving commercials (which requires EXTRA testosterone.) I did not recognize him at all.

Most of the other reviews of this film which I read were negative. There is no way to tell the age of those reviewers, but my age is 68. I like this movie, which was touching but not maudlin. It's true to life to me. My wife is still living, and I don't have a big enough retirement savings account to buy a boat and a Cadillac. But we are fortunate enough to have our only child in the same city, and our only grandson (and very likely the only one there will ever be) there also, so we are already ahead of Bill and Carol. But you have to be in old age to appreciate this story. If one of us dies, what will the other do? Would we consider remarriage? How would you find somebody, if you wanted to? If one of our beloved pets dies, what will we do? Do we want to start with another one, even an older one which might die before we do? Do we go to a retirement facility or keep the too-large house? Old age is generally not exciting, even if you have enough money to eat and buy medicine, and it's little things where you find happiness (even if it is TV or golf). This was intentionally a low-key story, which didn't answer any of the questions it raised. We only know tiny tidbits about Carol, but nobody else. Where did Bill come from, other than Dallas? What does Carol's daughter do, and where does she live, and why haven't they seen each other more often? You can draw you own conclusions or just accept this little snippet of Carol's life and move on, as she will, but to what we don't know. It's life, where we come into contact with people but know nothing about them. And nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. If you are lucky enough to have a tomorrow.

Good, simple, often funny movie concerned with the serious subject of just what is left of value in a life that is much closer to the end than to the beginning, and what we might do with that remaining value. Blythe Danner, June Squibb, Rhea Perlman, Mary Kay Place, Sam Elliott, and Martin Starr are the leads, with Danner the star as Carol, a widow living out her very comfortable but ordinary L.A. days at home, except for her bridge and golf games with her 3 funny buddies at the local retirement center. Then, first came a personal loss, then came an odd but valued friendship with her young pool cleaner, then a loss that truly moved her to change the way she saw and lived life.

The director kept things light and not too serious about the issues with aging until that loss that changed things forever for Carol, temporarily at first, but permanently later, as she then became more accepting of doing things with more meaning and friendly human relationships in her remaining years. Sad in spots, funny in most, but always meaningful, with sound advice for all of us as we age.

What I took away from this story was that we all need to spend serious time reviewing our lives when we get to Carol's age, and question if we are using our limited time wisely and in our own best interests, and then make the right changes. We owe that to ourselves, and to our friends and loved ones. Just like Carol. In that way, the story was like a good friend.

From the promos it sounds like an upbeat film, but the sad parts start right at the beginning. It's more about loss as you age, and trying to find a meaningful life in spite of it. Good acting but waaah. 😦