Helicopter Mom

This movie has little plot and zombie-like "acting" which puts the deep freeze on anything you might want to get out of the film. Aside from Ms. Vardalos, there's a reason the rest of the cast is made up of unknowns and little known bit players. Ms. Vardalos is astonishingly horrible in this and quickly making herself even less relevant than she's already become by being in amateur movies like Helicopter Mom.

There are zero redeeming qualities about this movie and everything from the cinematography to the wardrobe makes it look like a bad student film.

The only thing that's funny about this film is that apparently the sales company, distributor, production company, producer and/or director are posting bogus positive user reviews to try and trick people into watching this thing. 99% of the people see right through it which makes the losers behind this movie even more pathetic than they already are for putting out a trashy movie like this. The very few critic's who even bothered reviewing this movie unanimously panned it.

Even if you can download this thing for free off the internet, your time is worth far more than subjecting yourself to 80 minutes of stupidity.

Greetings again from the darkness. Just when it seems everything we say or do is offensive to someone and most every topic is considered politically incorrect, a movie shows up that seems to say it's OK to be offensive if you are trying to make a worthy point. It's kind of like someone defending their actions by saying "I'm not a racist – I have an African-American friend."

Helicopter parenting is defined as an overly involved parent who thinks they are best serving their kid by staying involved in every detail of life – from homework to activities to love life. As sad as this phenomenon is, this movie from director Salome Breziner and writer Duke Tran is so exaggerated, a more appropriate title would be Chainsaw Mom. Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) stars as the clueless and relentless single mom obsessed with her son … especially the uncertainties of his sexual orientation.

Ms. Vardalos seems to have patterned her approach to the role after some of the wide-eyed over-the-top characters of Keenan Thompson from SNL. This is beyond caricature and it's also beyond annoying. The character is not believable in any sense, and is fortunately offset by more grounded performances from Jason Dolley, who plays her unfortunate son, and Mark Boone Junior, who plays her ex-husband and his father.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking on a topic like teenage sexual ambiguity/confusion with a comedic approach; however, much of this comes off like a cheesy sitcom. The only thing missing is the laugh track … and maybe Vardalos hiding behind a potted plant while wearing Groucho glasses and mustache. I say maybe, because it's possible the latter occurred during one of the many segments where I was rolling my eyes or shaking my head in disbelief.

Fortunately, there were some genuine father and son moments between Dolley and Boone. In fact, Boone's performance is so good, it's like someone changed the channel every time his character appears. Dolley and Skyler Samuels (The Duff) also have some very sweet and believable scenes together. It's just a shame that a moment as poignant as the confused son asking his father "When did you know you were straight?" is offset by mom publicly humiliating her kid and herself in yet another unimaginable display of inappropriate and cartoonish behavior.

The supporting cast also includes Kate Flannery (TV's "The Office"), Gillian Vigman (The Hangover), and Dallas' own Hockaday girl Lisa Loeb – who has a role as a teacher, and wrote the song for the opening credits.

Confusion over sexual orientation in teenagers is certainly a topic worthy of film treatment, as is the cultural phenomenon of helicopter parenting. The slapstick comedy approach seems to overwhelm the first message, while the 1980's sitcom style destroys any commentary on the second. The only person who thinks a boy's best friend is his mother is Norman Bates. And Hitchcock showed us how that turns out.

Helicopter Mom is idiotic, annoying, patently unfunny, and blatantly homophobic. It is in many ways a film from a different and far worse era. Head-to-toe it plays like a lackluster piece of late-90s teen sit-com drek. The film isn't even remotely relevant and it overflows with dated references. Then there is the issue of the film's central plot: that a mother would be so aggressively separated from reality to determine that her son is gay before he has even reached a conclusion. It is ridiculous and disgustingly offensive. At every turn it simplifies a whole crop of people, defining them by nothing more than who they love, and aggressively stereotyping them along the way. As if this weren't enough to stop watching, it then cripples its characters with dialogue that is unrealistic and clumsy.

There are so many elements of Helicopter Mom that make it a failure. It is a lazily shot made- for-TV movie that certainly won't find an audience with any demographic. The script is written with the skill of a second-grader with no sense of character knowledge, spinning about with a dizzying amount of unmotivated character shifts. There is no consistency to anything and large sections of the film are absolutely incoherent.

The film is so mired in a quagmire of sub-mediocre drivel that it can be considered nothing but forgettable. The best thing that can be said about Helicopter Mom is there's an ending, unfortunately it comes ninety minutes too late.

The writing felt like this could have been a script written by a non-film major in a screenwriting class at a local community college. It is riddled with some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard in a film. And then you have Nia Vardolos; she was so over-the-top that one has to wonder if she was binging on drugs or alcohol during the filming of this. I was in utter disbelief at how bad and rotorless this film was.

Stupid movies come out all the time. There are bad films on gay related subjects. But this one had the imprimatur of the Points Foundation which is a group that gives scholarships to deserving LGBT youth. Very important because there are a lot of gay kids still subject to bullying which tends to stifle education. Believe me I know.

There could probably have been made a serious film on that issue, but the producers of Helicopter Mom opted for a truly bad, not only bad, but insulting comedy. In a plot borrowed somewhat from the 80s Soul Man, this overbearing Mom played by Nia Vardalos decides that her son Jason Dolley has to get a scholarship from somewhere to afford college in the East. So what to do, but out him with some of the usual results gay kids face. She even tries to find him dates.

In point of fact the kid is in the category of questioning. We all develop our sexuality at our own pace. A topic that also could have been handled better.

Here in my city I support the Embrace WNY group and it's annual brunch which among other things also provides scholarships for deserving LGBT youth. I think the talent there among those who sponsor and participate could come up with a better film.

They couldn't do much worse.