Artemis Fowl: O Mundo Secreto

Watching Artemis Fowl is like listening to someone read a complicated instruction manual at a very quick pace, without pausing to allow for questions or reflection. I get that they had to cram a lot of story into one 90-minute movie, but it just doesn't make any sense. Artemis is unlikeable, Mulch Diggums is annoying, I felt embarrassed for Dame Judi Dench, and the rest of the cast is forgettable. If you're interested in this story, skip the movie and read the books.

This movie seems like it was written by someone who read the Wikipedia for this book series but never actually picked up the books. When making a movie based on a book, there are liberties that have to be taken because some things can't translate from the book and some effects (like the size of the fairies) are a hard to produce without costly CGI. However this movie doesn't seem to care about using CGI, and even uses it effectively but uses it in all the wrong places. The biggest issue with this movie is not the complete changing of story line but the betrayal of every single character's base traits for what appears to be no real reason. If you never read the books, this movie is passable, but if you're a fan of the series, prepared to see a torpedoing of all your beloved characters.

Never read the books so im not judging as an adaptation, but that was pretty bad. Lazy use of a narrator, tons of bad expodumping, and pretty boring characters. No emotional moments because I just genuinely didnt care about the characters. left a bad taste in my mouth /:

If Disney put half the effort into the movie as they did into making a trailer and promotion, Artemis Fowl might have been only horrible instead of nauseatingly unwatchable. Thanks to the other 1 star reviews I will be reading the books so I can understand exactly how badly they dropped the ball. My kids and I haven't been this disappointed since the Last Airbender movie M. Night butchered.

I felt nauseous while watching it. I want a personal apology from the frozen head of Walt Disney.