Bermondsey Tales: Fall of the Roman Empire

Michael Head has created a really entertaining film here and isn't that what most people want? Entertainment.

This movie is not for the snooty critics that write reviews knowing little about the working class love for a good old gangster tale that features that world but also everyday family dramas they can relate to. It's nicely divided up into chapters like a novel and features Latin, yes Latin descriptions as we go along.

There are a plethora of well known faces that keep up your interest too, from Jay's dad from the Inbetweeners to the sexy French lady from Allo Allo. Plus Alan Ford, Maisie Williams and Gary Webster. This cast of familiar faces rises the film up beyond the standard gangster tale and with a Guy Ritchie style, Michael Head keeps it all romping along including absolutely hilarious moments from Dapper Laughs and Vas Blackwood. Plus, genuinely sad moving moments. John Hannah also features in a charismatic cameo as a gnarly Scot.

It all moves along at fast pace with consistently good performances throughout. It's perfect viewing with a Chinese takeaway and a few beers on the go.

Writing, directing, acting in, funding and putting a film together is a huge operation when you're an independent film maker it takes guts, grit, determination and a never say die attitude, as someone who's been there I can only applaud Michael for what he has achieved.

Michael Head is making the kind of films he wants to make - London gangster films. And he's not bad at it. The trouble is that he's not good at it either.

There's a lot of attempts at witty banter and it doesn't really come off. And that's a problem, because it's half the film. There are some decent actors here who can deliver such lines, but I think perhaps the direction was lacking because everyone waits for everyone else to finish their line. It's like everything is a rehearsal rather than a take.

Alan Ford is in this and he's got a charisma and intensity that is always very watchable, but he just doesn't have the chance to shine here. You see him deliver a line in his usual excellent manner, but it falls flat as everyone else waits their turn. There are a bunch of familiar British crime film faces, like Vas Blackwood and Rohit Nathaniel - though they tend to be from the lower budget end of things. And then there's a scattering of people from Eastenders and the Inbetweeners. But the slow pace of everything and the slow acting just ruins anything they might have had. And annoyingly, the worst actor is Michael Head himself. He's not convincing as a tough guy and I'm sure he thinks there's charm and humour to his performance, but there just isn't. John Hannah is wasted here too - as is Vicki Michelle.

With better writing, better direction and tighter editing, there's a potentially good film here. But as it stands, it's just not good enough.

Ooh, look a whole bunch of ten star ratings from people who've never reviewed anything else. Par for the course, eh?

Please stop giving creative control to Michael Head. Bermondsey Tales doesn't seem to have any sense of direction, seems to have too many characters, and there's a lack of soundtrack in most scenes. Hardly anyone is likeable in the film and they mostly act awkward. One or two scenes weren't too bad but mostly a bore.

Bermondsey Tales - an immensely funny creative look at how the South London Mob operated in the yearly 70ies and 80ies. A creative tale of "true criminal tales" told with imagination, a bit of tongue in cheek and a lot of humor. A must see for any South Londoner or gangster fan, or if you just enjoy a laugh.

A fantastic cast including many well known actors, with a few new commers that should be mentioned including the Writer and Director Michael Head.

Cast includes Gary Webster, Vas Blackwood, Linda Robson and Maise Smith to name but a few.

It tells the tale of the rise and fall of the mob and the various characters and their antics.

I watched Bermondsey Tales at the cinema and really enjoyed it! I watched again last night at home and loved it even more, there was so much I missed at the first watch.

Bermondsey Tales, is honestly one of the funniest films I've seen in a long time, with great vivid characters and lots of stand out performances. The dialogue is sharp with more plot twists than a rollercoaster, however what I originally missed was how intelligent the plot was.

On second viewing I noticed how smart everything fits together, how every action has a consequence leading to the ultimate downfall of the family. Even with the prologue and epilogue the film has the feel of a Shakespearean tragedy.

As a fan of British gangster films and classical English lit and theatre, I honestly put this film in my top ten of all times. It's hilarious, sharp, gritty and very smart film, plus I love John Hannah.