Necronomicon

This is directed by a guy who has only made 4 films in his entire life and the last one was 30 years ago about Dolly Parton. This give you an idea where the movie is going.

In the dumpster.

The first 15 minutes is a voice over car chase done in CGI with a guy purported to be controlled by the devil. It's sleep inducing.

Cut to what they say is NY but nothing looks like NY and everybody is speaking with a British accent.

Cut to New Orleans. Supposedly some old Alester Crowley house but it's clearly a tourist spot. You can see the fees to get in and tour on the wall!

Lots of the shots were clearly filmed in England. You can tell by the electrical outlets.

30 minutes into this garbage and no Bai Ling or Michael Madson or Tom Sizemore yet. They are supposed to be the stars.

Finally, Sizemore arrives, as large as Orson Welles, filmed against a plain white background and obviously did this god know where but the guy he interacts with isn't there at the time of filming. He's a voice over! And cutaways of him were added at a later date!

Horrible. This is a train wreck. I would have shut this off by now but I thought I'd sit around for Ling and Madsen.

Glutton for punishment.

Bai Ling is next on the agenda, filmed so dark you can't see her.

It's so dark, I'm not sure what I saw. I'm not even sure what her segment is about or how it relates to the movie, but all of a sudden, the guy has a giant bird tattoo on his back. It wasn't there 5 minutes ago!

Then there's a bunch of voice overs with Sizemore that are complete duplicates of what he said before.

Bai shows up again and the guy doesn't seem to recognize her as the girl thatwas with him 10 minutes earlier.

50 minutes into this and Madsen finally comes in, looking like total crap. He's in it for no more than 3 minutes and back to NYC.

With 15 minutes to go Bai ling shows up a third time.

The movie made zero sense. I can't believe I stuck with it. It sucked big time. Don't Bother. Your Time is More Valuable.

This popped up on in my suggested movies feed and I immediately dismissed it as direct-to-video trash. But upon further inspection, it has real actors in it...surely it can't be that bad. Bai Ling, Sylvester McCoy, Tom Sizemore...actual actors! Maybe this is a diamond in the rough? Yeah, nope.

It opens with a monologue that makes Ben Stein's voice seem enthusiastic and emotive. The rambling dialog is over what appears to be a video made in a video game engine--mostly an inexplicable car chase that makes the Fast & Furious franchise seem tame. Oh...and a random helicopter shooting into traffic. Who knows at this point? There are some "hell" scenes that look like they're pulled from Doom. That's kind of neat.

Somehow it tries to tie Lovecraft and Alistair Crowley together in some nonsensical plot about the creation of the Necronomicon. Any video not pulled from a game engine is wildly overexposed and accompanied by dialog more painful than the droning "music," if you can call it that.

It's only redeeming quality is that it's about 75 minutes long. Honestly, I'd rather have a root canal than watch this again.

Right, well I have to admit that when I stumbled upon the 2023 horror movie titled "Necronomicon" and seeing that the movie had Lysette Anthony on the cast list, then of course I had to sit down and watch the movie. No doubt about that.

However, this movie is one of the worst Lovecraftian-inspired movies that I have stumbled upon. First of all, the movie starts off with more than 10 minutes of forcing the audience to sit through tedious monologue delivered by a man fully stripped of emotion, while he is driving recklessly through the streets while chased by the police. There was zero understanding of how laws of physics works in that long, long car chase scene, and it looked like discarded footage from a 1990s computer game. It was abysmal to watch.

Not even with the likes of Lysette Anthony and Bai Ling on the cast list did the movie stand a snowballs chance in Hell. The actors and actresses in the movie literally had nothing to work with in terms of script, dialogue or character gallery.

Then there was the prolonged dialogue, which was very repetitive, and the fact that someone pronounces the word "Necronomicon" as "Necromonicon" was just laughable.

The storyline in "Necronomicon" was rubbish, as were the majority of the acting performances and the delivery of the infantile dialogue. It felt like nothing more than an amateurish attempt at making a movie.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Necronomicon", especially if you enjoy the written works of Lovecraft.

My rating of "Necronomicon", from director Richard Driscoll, lands on a one out of ten stars. This was an abysmal affront to the legacy of H. P. Lovecraft.

The movie focuses on the legendary Aleister Crowley for the most part, in very poorly lit rooms of no relevance. As said on other disparaging reviews here, the first thirty minutes and the last ten are harder to watch than it was for me to read your collective reviews of this film.

Depending on your mood, and if your interest in the Occult is fairly high -- be like Nike, and just do it already. It's not in the same league as far as good Lovecraft movies are concerned, Dagon is by far and away the best rendition of the man's written work and they did the best with had they had to work with there on that beauty.

So, the CGI driving scenes BREAK this movie for the majority of watchers because it's such shoddy work, and the would-be tough guy is some fat lamer with a feminine voice. Weak. But the dialogue discussing Crowley and the Golden Dawn's importance to Occultism, and occasionally throwing in the Necronomicon, is acceptably interesting to me...

As a card carrying member of the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society, I will start by saying this is a hard pass. The makers of this film clearly have ZERO knowledge of the source material. Numerous characters in the film mispronounce the name of the Necromonicon... The titular tome... Multiple times. Also, aside from a character at the beginning of the film seemingly reading off the biography of H. P. Lovecraft from Wikipedia, there is virtually no mention of Lovecraft or Lovecraftian themes, tropes, etc. As a matter of fact, it's almost like the writers of the film wanted to make a film about Aleister Crowley instead but wanted to use the Lovecraft name to snag unsuspecting viewers like me. I can safely say, Aleister Crowley had nothing to do with Lovecraft's fictional Necromonicon, as it was written by the mad Arab Al Alhazzared. Also, the film is all wrapped up in Christian demonography which has zero to do with the elder beings and old gods of the actual Lovecraftian Necromonicon.

All of that aside, even as an enthusiast of schlocky B movies, I found this film to be horribly written, terribly paced, it had awful washed out audio throughout. The entire first twelve minutes is a weird Sin City-esque CGI car chase, complete with awful rear projection behind the driver who delivers a Frank Miller style monologue the entire time. There's also an awkward sex scene shoehorned in where you get to see Bai Ling's nipples if you're patient enough to get a half hour in. A lot of the "bigger name" actors don't even appear in the film and are simply dubbed into conversations with the main character.

If I could give this film a zero out of ten I would.