The Christmas Classic

Of course I had never heard about the 2023 Showtime Christmas movie titled "The Christmas Classic" prior to sitting down to watch it as part of my 2024 Christmas movie marathon.

But I will say that the movie's cover was sufficiently cheesy to instill that particular sense of being in for a sappy Christmas movie experience.

Writers Austin Nichols and Shane Dax Taylor put together a sufficiently enjoyable storyline, but it just wasn't standing out in the vast sea of similar movies. And as such, I have to say that "The Christmas Classic" is not going to become a Christmas classic. Watchable, for sure, just not memorable out unique.

There were some familiar faces on the screen, such as Malin Akerman, Ryan Hansen, Austin Nichols and Amy Smart. It should be said, though, that the acting performances in the movie were fair.

They mentioned The Griswalds in this movie, as they were talking about Christmas lights, which I found to be a nice touch and a lovely nod to the classic "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation".

My rating of director Shane Dax Taylor's 2023 movie "The Christmas Classic" lands on a bland five out of ten stars.

I don't know what it is with the parody parading as serious hallmark style cheesy Christmas movies being churned or in recent years but I can't imagine that anyone could watch these movies with any grain of seriousness when the plots are completely stereotyped and across who are generally decent actors purposely over (under?) act to be on par with actual holiday movies thar are supposed to be taken seriously. That being said, this movie made me laugh hard at the ridiculousness of how perfectly this movie played on those played out tropes. And, they did it better than the 2022 Christmas parody, Christmas with the Campbells which was just downright cringe-worthy thanks to my beloved Justin Long's awful, over the top nondescript southern/Midwestern small town cowboy accent. I hear Justin Long but I heart Chris Hansen almost as much and at least he didn't attempt a bad accent. Definitely worth a watch for a good laugh at the tongue in cheek, poking fun at sappy holiday romance movies.

I was hopeful for another decent holiday movie with comedy and charm, a great plot line and some romance.

What I got?

More than 40 dick jokes and a deep concern for one of the child actors. Never in my life would I have expected to hear a child be forced to say "would 6 inches make you happy, mommy?".

GROSS.

Was this supposed to be a parody? What was the point of this movie? To humiliate Malin and Amy? A waste of money and resources as far as I'm concerned. For anyone trying to avoid chauvinistic movies with dick innuendoes every 2 minutes- don't waste your time with this film.

If a parody this was to be, you missed the mark entirely.

Terrible writing Terrible acting Terrible directing.

Terrible music Terrible production Just terrible

Who is this actor Wes Hager? I can find someone off the street to act better than him.

Sad....sad excuse for a movie

Malin akerman Is the only draw to this movie.

Island Christmas dancing I can live with but rest blah

While I agree Justin Longs accent was horrible in Christmas with the Campbells, the movie was far superior to this junk!

Stick with the Campbells & skip this classless movie!

Don't let other review fool you like it fooled me.

Blah blah blah Don't watch this Thank you bye.

So in the first 3 minutes the female lead yells "S**T!" and then "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" half a dozen times. Several minutes in we hear "Not a chance in H**l" and then her sister starts with the "OH MY GOD." Whoever the writers are needs to broaden his/her/their vocabulary and knowledge of proper English that would be appropriate for a Christmas movie that (assumedly) children will be watching. The female lead character is a spoiled, arrogant, entitled and thoroughly hateful brat--so nothing at all "nice" or uplifting about this pile of detritus. First thought is "Well the children won't be watching this," and second thought is that the exclamation "S**T" in the first few minutes is a very suitable description of this film. Turned it off at 20 minutes in. An offensive waste of time.