Cocaine Shark

With a low rating, and no expectations. Was expecting this film to be terrible giving its low budget and its parody title. The cover art made it look half way decent but overall there isn't anything really redeeming about this film.

The sharks are animated looking, and it isn't in a funny way. The acting is amateurish where's it's too distracting to take anything serious. The story isn't intriguing and there's no suspense, no mystery and in the end we wonder as to why we watched. It's not a film that's funny in a "so bad it's good" way, it's simply cheesy and forced. Not worth the watch. Far better low budget films out there.

I was impressed with some of Mark's DIY creative choices, but that's always been something I love about Polonia movies. They've always got effort and creativity and a rotating group of actors you actually love watching.

I asked myself if Dustin Ferguson watched this and took some notes for his own Cocaine Cougar that I haven't been able to make myself watch and then I remembered he's completely delusional so of course he didn't. He also had his movie on shelves 3 weeks after Cocaine Bear debuted so I doubt he even watched that. The reviews I read for it say it's the exact same formula he always uses just with a terrible cgi cat thrown in at random places.

I wish I could rate Cocaine Shark a 0/10. A 1 is too high.

Everything on the cover is a lie. There is no cocaine in this "movie". There is no great white shark. There certainly is no shark eating a block of cocaine or getting covered in it.

Instead, you get a plot revolving around human consumption of a fictional drug derived from a gland within shark bodies... or something. Whatever it is, it's definitely not cocaine. There's scenes of people lying in bed together and taking the drug and talking about it.

The closest thing to a shark here is a plastic creature with a hammerhead shark head and a lobster body which chases the main characters.

Guess this is the logical end result of taking what's already an intentionally bad movie in Cocaine Bear and using it to sell something else, where nothing other than the cover art matters. It's not a ripoff of Cocaine Bear, that would require a plot and content with any resemblance to it- rather, you will feel ripped off, even if you watch it for free.

If you've seen Cocaine Bear and are excited to see what Cocaine Shark has to offer, may be you should hold your horses. Originally titled Kanizame Shakurabu, this movie was renamed to shamelessly cash in on Cocaine Bear, to the point where the cover art for the DVD/blu-ray is literally marketing a movie that doesn't actually exist. To be clear, there's very few sharks in this and even less cocaine.

Cocaine Shark may actually have found life just selling exactly what it is, a very silly B movie featuring mutated creatures, bad acting, and cheap effects. It does at least remain humourous, since the movie is very well aware of how bad it is, and stop motion and cheesy graphics are always a pleasure.

Cocaine Shark feels like a student movie, or something that would have aired on the SyFy Channel. It's not as bad as it seems, but also not good either.

No pun intended - I really try to avoid giving 1 out of 10 if possible. I am accused of being too nice when it comes to rating movies. I just couldn't ... well this really fails on many if not all respects when it comes to movies ... or what a movie should be and how they are made and should look like.

Editing, "acting" and the story (that I reckon is non existent) ... add to that Windows Screensaver effects ... and you have a "winner" - I am being sarcastic ... and I reckon that is a better joke than anything you will find here. All that said, I do understand if some people do like the low budget feel of this ... tough to watch to say the least ... Cocaine Bear becoming Citizen Kane in contrast ...