Garota de Programa de Cthulhu

If you are like me and have come across this movie and think the title alone is hilarious and worth watching, Call Girl Of Cthulhu will not disappoint you. Call Girl... is a very tongue in cheek, micro budgeted horror/comedy that delivers the campy and gory goods. Considering of course this is centered on our leading lady of the night Riley and her occupation is to fulfill the needs of all kinds of horny men, the film has a whole lot of sex appeal and delivers in that area as well. Riley, is a smoking hot hooker with a heart of gold that ends up in a romance when meeting an awkward, but sweet artist and virgin who paints her portrait. Things go awry when Cthulhu cultists search for their god's bride who is a hooker that bares the birthmark destined to be Cthulhu's mate and bring about the end of the world. For this Riley is destined and only her boyfriend and his punk/industrial noise artist chick and roommate can put a stop to this. For a movie dealing with prostitution, alien gods, cult worship and Armageddon, the film has an innocent quality to it an has mostly a light tone. Although this movie was extremely cheap, the performances by the actors are actually good and the characters are developed well throughout the course of the film. The f/x are cheap and cheesy, but are practical at least. Plus this film is cheesy, but in a good way. Call Of Cthulhu is good for what it is. There are no shortage of horror movies based on the writings of HP Lovecraft, but I do like writer Jimmy George and director Chris Lamartino's take on the material. If you want to see a more serious adaptation of Lovecraft's works that has more of a budget to work with the I suggest to check out director Stuart Gordon's films. He made a lot of good films based on Lovecraft, some of them are great and absolute genre classics.

What is your take on cults and demons? And more importantly: do you have problems with humor being added to a horror movie? That question is the most important one of course, since this is using a lot of humor. If that works, will be up to you and your sensibilities.

The effects are quite nice. You have a lot of violence, some nudity and a lot madness to endure while watching this. Something that should hopefully come easy to you. If not you will not have any fun watching this ... at all. Low budget as it can be - you have to dig its vibe. You will know early on. Don't blame the movie - if you sat all the way through it and didn't like it.

Do you miss 70's and 80's grindhouse-style horror flicks with some 80's and 90's nihilism, mixed with real creature design and nearly no CGI? Do you miss when boobs, sex, and blood were in your cheesy horror movies? Do you miss when movies werent afraid to lean into camp?

Boy howdy do I got the movie for you!!!

I ran across this one on A-Z prime because it was on my recommended watch-list. I didnt check reviews or anything else, as the title was what drew me in.

I'm glad I went in blind!

I wont give a synopsis, but the movie is exactly what it shows itself to be. A call girl is possibly the catalyst for what brings Cthulhu back into our world.

This flick could have been trimmed down a little, but even with its excess, it feels like it revels in it rather than just rushing from plot point to plot point.

That is not to say this movie is dull or boring, as it pretty steadily keeps a solid pace for its running time.

There IS a lot of what is NOT in current horror movies: Blood, swears, boobs, sex, violence, animatronics and practical effects, amongst others, are littered throughout this movie in a fantastic way. You can really feel the vision they were going for and they executed it quite well.

The actors were not amazing, but they were proficient for this B-style movie. They play their parts well, and a few of them shine. It all mostly works for this script/film. They werent hamming it up, but you could tell all of the actors gave it their all with lots of gusto and enthusiasm.

The sound seemed to be taken from the raw audio many times without someone doing sound effects, which is both a blessing and a curse since some sounds do not match the tone they are going for.

The locations, for the most part, felt real and natural. The apartment of the main character feels very lived in and real for the two inhabitants.

Dont expect mind-blowing CGI or special effects as this is basically a well-done B movie. The practical effects were serviceable, but again, do not expect a $50 million dollar movie here. For instance, the masks of the Cthulhu cultists are just pieces of cloth cut into strips halfway, BUT IT WORKS!!! The cultists masks were mostly creepy.

If you've gotten this far and are still curious, give this flick a go!!! Check it out and you should be pleasantly surprised!

This was a fun little 'horror' movie with few scares but lots of "ick", as any story about Cthulhu should be.

This movie was more enjoyable and fun than most movies I've seen in the 6 years since this was released.

I'd give it a 6.5 rounded up to a 7 as I felt this movie deserved the bump-up, with points deducted for some of the unnecessary length and side plots that only exist for the sake of gore.

The ending was very 'Stephen King"ish but overall left me wishing for something a little more.

As a side note: They do a lot of match-cuts, which at first is refreshing because a lot of movies do not even bother with this anymore and jump from scene to scene, but it becomes a smidge excessive towards the end.

You may find yourself asking just what in the hell you're watching within the first 15-20 min. Press onward, and don't take it too seriously - you'll miss out on the fun ride. It's akin to something like 'Todd and the Book of Pure Evil.' The acting is good. Writing, wardrobe, sets, sound, effects, etc, are all on par with the budget - again it all works for what it is. You can tell the entire production team had a great time making this film, and made something they were proud to screen.

Bottom line, I know this review sucks, but for someone looking for a fun, raunchy indie horror-comedy based on Lovecraftian mythos, look no further.

If you're looking for a sleazy, cheap but fun Lovecraftian horror you could do far worse than this! With blood and body parts all over the place, some of the dumbest characters you'll see in horror (which is saying something!), and a very liberal amount of T&A/topless nudity, this is a real throwback to those 80s teen horror flicks that were only found near the back of the video store. A nerdy young artist decides to lose his virginity to a prostitute. Unfortunately, she bears a birthmark that marks her as destined to become the bride of Cthulhu. The 'Church of Starry Wisdom' (aka a bunch of losers led by a megalomaniac nutjob) are determined to bring that union about.

Whilst some of the supporting cast have a history in more 'adult' productions, the leads (David Phillip Carollo as the artist, Nicolette le Faye as his roommate, Melissa O'Brien as the hooker, and Dave Gamble as the nutjob) are pro actors; but they're ALL clearly having a ball and putting their all into it. Plus, writer/director Chris LaMartina knows his stuff; there are more Lovecraft references/elements in this that I think I've seen in any other movie based on his work. Overall, it's trash, but it's meant to be. I can't say I'll ever rewatch it, but it's fun. 6/10.