Belo Desastre - O Casamento

Ah, "Beautiful Wedding" (2024), a cinematic adventure where Abby and Travis accidentally marry in Vegas and think, "Why not honeymoon in Mexico?" sounds like the kind of movie you'd invent to win a bet on making the most predictable rom-com ever. Yet, here it is, in all its glory, demanding that we sit through nearly two hours of what could only be described as a series of unfortunate events that make you wish they had annulled the movie along with the marriage.

First off, the chemistry between Abby and Travis is as convincing as a tofu steak at a barbecue. Their attempts at romantic banter feel more like awkward exchanges between strangers who've been forced to share a cab. The supporting cast of friends and family are intended to add spice and laughter but instead come off like they wandered in from a different, possibly more interesting movie set. Each gag lands with the subtlety of a brick, and the slapstick scenarios are as fresh as last week's guacamole.

By the time the plot drags us to the picturesque beaches of Mexico, you hope for some redemption or maybe a beautiful scenic distraction. But no, the film doubles down on its commitment to mediocrity with a series of predictable misunderstandings and reconciliations that feel as though they were scripted by a chatbot programmed to churn out clichés. "Beautiful Wedding" tries to be a feast of fun and fails spectacularly, serving up nothing but reheated leftovers from better movies. One and a half stars, and even that feels like a wedding gift.

This movie is so low budget that I cannot believe it was greenlit by the production company. My bar for the movie was low to begin with but this exceeded my expectations of just how bad it was.

I am not really sure who the audience was that this movie was made for but the trailer is definitely better than the actual movie and does a great job of selling a fake story / plot. When the voice overs and animations started I could already tell I made a terrible mistake. Also the inclusion of a gangster storyline served exactly zero purpose. I actually felt bad for some of the actors for having been in this movie. It was super cringe, don't waste your time. 2 stars just for the effort and because I like some of the actors.

This follows Beautiful Disaster (2023) and its closing credits slide show. Abby Abernathy (Virginia Gardner) and Travis Maddox (Dylan Sprouse) are in Vegas with their friends America (Libe Barer) and Shepley (Austin North). They wake up shocked to find a load of cash and that Abby and Travis had gotten married. The foursome goes on the run to a Mexican resort and escape from Benny (Rob Estes) looking to get paid.

I really like the two lead actors. The first movie isn't much. I wish I liked it, but I could not abide by the slap-dashed attempts at broad humor. This movie tries even harder, and they still don't have that comedic sidekick. It's a struggle. First, I didn't remember a lot of the first movie. I had forgotten all together that she played poker. I blocked the last half of the movie after the hand job. In a way, I blocked the last half of this movie after all the boobs. What can I say? Those are the most memorable moments and they aren't that funny. Let's hope that there are no more books to turn into movies.

This film is hilariously over-the-top to the point where it's almost a satirical look at the genre altogether. The first 15 minutes were fun with the "oh no, we got married" plot and introducing some more serious themes. But at almost exactly 20 minutes, everything goes downhill. The director chose to insert animations, make the characters unlikable, and camera angles that were abhorrent.

The writing is so grotesquely clunky that it's a wonder it was ever greenlit by production at all. Then you remember it's low budget and realize they though they could make a blockbuster out of pennies. They cannot.

The film isn't all bad. Sprouse's comedic timing and line delivery (even if the lines are terrible) is the saving grace of an otherwise over-the-top film. If you can detach yourself completely from a cohesive storyline, believable lines, and hyper-sexualized female lead, the film is...okay. It's fun and light, but doesn't come close to matching the bantering fun of the first film. You can tell it was written by a man whose peak humor is in sock puppets and Adam Sandler films.

For book fans...Just skip it altogether. If you need something to play in the background or critique for a film class, this is perfect.

This film is just awful. I struggle to find the words to say anything. I quite enjoyed Beautiful Disaster and was waiting for this but.....it's just horrible.

Required characters is 600 that is almost as painful trying to find words as watxhing this film was.

I am all for a bit of nonsense, something that doesn't require thought, something to distract me from the mundaneness of life and the awfulness of reality but this is not it.

Do something else. Watch something else. Call someone. But do not switch this film on. It's not even funny bad is it's just utterly, completely and shockingly bad.