Avalanche de Tubarões

If you are looking for story, plot, excitement, adventure, depth of character then this isn't the movie for you. It's exactly what it says on the tin, tongue in cheek nonsense. Any film that dares to pair the word 'Shark' with a destructive force driven by snow deserves our respect.

There's good old fashioned story-telling and then there's this, suspend your imagination and your cognitive abilities and sit back and enjoy the ride.

Looking forward to the next instalment, 'Shark Eruption' or 'Shark Thunderstorm', the plot lines here are limitless.

It had its moments, but Sand Sharks was better. 😕

Avalanche Sharks (2014)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A ski resort is hosting a bikini contest but they've got much bigger issues when sharks begin to come out of the snow and kill people.

I must admit that I love shark movies but the sad fact is that there really haven't been too many of them. Of course JAWS is a masterpiece and there are some other good ones like THE SHALLOWS but sadly small companies have realized that you can use bad CGI to create ugly looking sharks and throw them into any story line. This could be tornado sharks, sand sharks, sharks with three heads and in this case avalanche sharks.

Sadly this here is one of the least entertaining ones because the film spends way too much time with boring and annoying characters instead of focusing on the shark. The human characters are all extremely boring and they are all basically stereotypes that add no entertainment value. Even worse is the fact that at only 82-minutes the film drags from start to finish. I did enjoy the shark attacks and I thought the film would have benefited had there been a lot more.

The first thing I noticed about this movie was that the people could actually act. I'm always amazed at how the "actors" in most of these shark movies are extremely unnatural but in this one they seem like this may not be their first time. This is actually as much a skiing movie as a shark movie, complete with the race to win the love of a girl. I wasn't expecting much and I was a little surprised that it wasn't worse than it is, although the end is absolutely ludicrous. I'd have to say this was not a total waste of time.

Avalanche Sharks is a stupid film, plain and simple. Its characters have no characteristics beyond the surface. We have the corrupt sheriff, the greedy businessman, the tired sheriff, the virgin, the foreign and a whole cavalcade of empty-headed, teenage idiots. And even then the premise is stupider, which is saying something. It's basically Sharknado with the tornado being replaced with a skiing resort. And the worst insult is that they try to force in a half-baked origin story for these sharks. And it doesn't convince or work, at all.

The movie is really nothing more than a gorefest without the budget to pull of the blood carnage convincingly. The actors do their jobs merely to get paid, which means that we don't care what happens to them. The special effects are just sad to look and the story has no impact behind it, especially when the ending solution is so laughably deus ex machina.

Don't see this film. Sometimes films like this have a certain "so bad it's good" quality, but this is just pathetic.

Besides, I was promised a bikini skiing contest. And they never delivered. Unforgivable!