After School Massacre

The sets are lacking, the acting chops are SORELY lacking and originality is not to be found anywhere. There are some cute women in the cast, but libidinous male viewers shouldn't get their hopes up; the "skin factor" is limited and nowhere near sufficient to make it worthwhile watching this debacle. The kills are so unconvincing as to be comical, the role of law enforcement depicted with a childlike simplicity, meaning gore and suspense fans will also find the film quite disappointing. I am the most patient of movie viewers, but I ended up skimming through most of the film on 4x fast forward after watching the first 25-30 minutes. Too lousy a film to even come close to the "so bad it's good" classification. AVOID!

I've been watching slasher movies since the mid '90s, and I have 'never' been this irritated with what I was seeing. The best way to describe my feelings toward this movie is simple: I felt like I got trolled by somebody who hates slasher fans. There is no way this is a legitimate effort.

Normally I only like discussing acting in slasher movies when it's somewhat impressive, because let's face it, with these commonly low budgets it's going to be close to impossible to buy skilled actors. With "After School Massacre," the bizarre nature of 'this' level of acting is where the 'only' horror lies. This is the worst acting I have ever seen. Not only that, the acting leads us nowhere! There's no payoff for suffering through this bizarre acting and limp script. The only explanation for somebody signing off on work like this is that it was an all-out assault on all the things I hold dear when it comes to movies.

The kills, the story, the killer, the comedy, the sex, the nudity, the music, they were 'all' equally as terrible as this bizarre acting. That has to be some kind of record.

I've been hustled a few times in my life, but buying into this premise is by far the most painful duping I have ever received.

What can I say...both the dialogue and the acting come straight out of an Adult film. Even the teachers are the Adult Movie, looks too young, too dumb, and too buff to be a teacher kind of teacher.

And the setting, again like an Adult Movie, is of the "there clearly wasn't even an attempt to make it look like X" kind of set. I mean, a potted plant, a desk, and a roll away chalk board with one or two school desks looks NOTHING like a classroom. Unless, of course, very vulgar things happened in front of a camera in that classroom.

Usually I give movies like this 10 stars because...mission accomplished, they aren't really pretending to be anything else.

But this one seems like they were going for Triple X fair...and backed off at the last minute.

If you've seen some promo shots or the trailer I reckon, you may feel that this may have some highlights. Particularly when it comes to very good looking female characters ... although characters may be giving the paper thin excuses of characters too much credit. But the thing is not that the movie is only teasing you, but refusing to give you any pleasure ... you're better off watching twitter or instagram accounts or whatever else floats your boat! That is not the main reason I rated this so low.

It is because it actually lacks in the one thing that would make this bearable. Shocking horror scenes and death scenes that might give you something. Always remembering that this is a movie obviously. The really annoying people in it - you don't really care for them, so if they would die ... well you at least would want that to be something exciting. But due to the low (or is it no?) budget of the movie, you are practically seeing ... nothing! You could turn that into positive and praise the filmmakers for inventing so many methods of cutting away or framing it in a way that you are not able to see impacts or penetrations (of killings, just in case you again got your ... hopes up).

The music video at the end is also bad ... but almost feels like something great ... maybe just watch that! You get to see all the cuties from the movie ... you can mute if you feel like your ears are being violated of course.

A bunch of unattractive girls in bra and panties with plastics straws, ringpops and really bad tats jumping on a bed.. Why? We don't know. But then there's the worst actress on the planet -- maybe the universe who's about to commit suicide by taking what appears to be a bottle of Tylenol.

There'sa Coolio lookalike who could easily be really homeless, a floozy mother who looks like she had plastic surgery to resemble Charo and the worst sound track you will ever hear. It's so bad, it's annoying. And too loud while people are talking.

You'll have to wait a long time for the "massacre," Which happens at the end of the movie with literally 16 minutes to go! Oh, and there is no school so why this is called After School Massacre" is beyond me.

Unbelievably bad.