Stonados

'Stonados' are appearing near Boston, i.e. tornadoes which are throwing stones (or exploding ice cubes). A science teacher and a TV journalist try to warn the population and develop a theory what's causing the storm. Two kids are meanwhile not staying home as daddy told them, but they are going to a stadium that will have to be evacuated before the storm arrives.

The advantage of a disaster movie where they don't have to save the whole planet, but just one city, is that it can tell the story in a more personal way. This is basically a movie for the whole family about a guy who saves his two teenage kids. Nothing extraordinary, but watchable. The funniest moment is when the woman accuses the weather guy of a poor forecast and is immediately killed by a falling stone - clearly a meteorologist's vengeful fantasy. Miranda Frigon from 'Primeval: New World' was the only actor I recognized, she plays the police officer helping the scientist and falling in love with the journalist. Besides, I noticed one cliché that recently appeared a lot in disaster movies: if a camera operator tries to get close to the Dangerous Thing for a good shot, he is always killed. What is it with camera operators that script writers don't like? And where is the trade union when you need them?

The SyFy folks are nothing if not predictable. All you have to do is look at the director's credits to see what you're in for here. And as to the writer of this nonsense, Rafael Jordan, he has absolutely no shame. He's got a couple dozen of these horrid movies to his credit. I presume someone is paying him to do it, but I can't imagine why.

Tornadoes tossing boulders. OK. Well, I guess they had to make something, and this is actually no more insipid than Ragin' Cajun Redneck Gators or Chupacabra vs. the Alamo. Do we call this a job well done? If you were aiming to make a stupid movie, then absolutely yes.

Kudos to all involved here. This movie is a mess and the makers just have to live with that.

You know what you gonna get when you start to watch these D-Movies (even worst than a C-Movie, which is already worst than a B-Movie...) :

Bad acting; Bad screenplay; Bad dialogues; Bad visual effects; Bad story lines; Bad editing; and stupid children;

To summarize : Bad...Everything!

Well folks, this thing has it all AND WORST ! In fact, the only good thing about this dud is it's length : 88 minutes. Short enough you'll think but you'll find yourself wondering what else you could've achieve in 88 minutes...

Stonados is so bad that I would prefer to get a colonoscopy instead of having to watch it again...

Yup! That bad...

Dice997

Right from the very beginning you know what you are getting yourself into here and knowing what you are going to get. I mean, with a title like "Stonados", isn't it rather obvious? And only on the SyFy Channel would something like this see the light of day.

"Stonados" is most definitely not amongst the top notch of disaster movies. Far from it, actually. Why? Well, the storyline itself was just rubbish, there was no motivation, no properly coherent red thread throughout the movie. It all just seemed like a bunch of randomness put together and it turned out as this movie.

The dialogue in the movie was just plain bad. The actors and actresses didn't really have much to work with here. The storyline was against them, the dialogue was against them, and of course, the CGI effects were against them.

The actors and actresses themselves were actually doing good enough jobs with their limited material they had to work with. So thumbs up for that at least.

The entire movie just seems pointless and not very entertaining. If you enjoy disaster movies, then there are far better ones available, and amongst those even some also aired from the SyFy Channel.

After the surprise success of Asylum's SHARKNADO, the current trend for these B-movie disaster/monster combos seems to be tornadoes mixed with something else. STONADOS has to be one of the silliest of these ideas, as it's a film where tornadoes are mixed with stones due to some ancient prophecy or some such. It's all nonsense anyway, because tons of people are killed when tornadoes lift debris off the ground and chuck it at them, so why bother with this whole stone angle?

Needless to say that this SyFy Channel production is pretty much devoid of any kind of originality or sense. It stars B-movie stalwart Sebastian Spence (CRASH SITE: A FAMILY IN DANGER) as a journalist who makes it his job to chase storms; inevitably he teams up with the usual group of officials/scientists/investigators to try to track down the menace before too many people are killed. William B. Davis (BEHEMOTH) also shows up as an old timer with a budgie in one of the film's many random sub-plots.

STONADOS is a mish-mash of disaster staples, all of them played out enthusiastically, if without much in the way of skill or discernible talent on the part of those involved. The CGI effects aren't quite bottom of the barrel stuff here, but they're still a far cry from those in THE AVENGERS, for instance. STONADOS is very much par for the course for this sub-genre.