Hansel & Gretel

I thought this was the Hollywood Blockbuster "Witch Hunter" movie. Well it was not.I'm a fan of the Brother's Grimm, I'm a fan of horror, I'm even a (big) fan of B-movies. But this movie belongs to the "why-did-I-watch-this-why?" genre. Horrible script, bad acting, bad everything. Even Dee Wallace, who is a respectable actress, cannot make this film bearable. "Hansel" and "Gretel" is supposed to be a classic horror story, but it is completely "butchered" in this production. If you watch this,prepared to be amazed at how bad a movie can be and what a complete waste of time it was.. And if you are a Grimm fan,oh boy... Beware: Do not watch this!

Oh My God. This movie sucked a**. I feel as though I should kill myself now. This movie cannot be unseen. I will forever remember it as the worst movie i had ever laid eyes upon. My IQ burned by 20 points while my sense refuses to comprehend why was such an awful movie was ever written, filmed, acted, edited and finally released to the unsuspecting audience. The characters were unified in their stupidity, the character buildup was forced and felt unnatural. The visual effects seemed to have been created by an 8 year old boy using MS-Paint (and not in a good way). The acting was absolutely shameful and degrading. I feel sorry for all those involved in the making of this waste of time in film disguise.

hear my words, those responsible for the movie need be avenged!

WHY GOD? WHY!?

There is something compulsively watchable about how notoriously bad The Asylum movies are, which is why I keep watching even if I know not to expect much. Hansel and Gretel is not the worst Asylum movie and I have seen worse movies generally but that doesn't stop it from being awful in an embarrassing way. The Asylum movies are rarely of good quality visually, and Hansel and Gretel is not an exception. Any attempts to give some atmosphere are badly hindered by choppy editing and the fact that it is far too bright when it could easily have benefited from a somewhat surrealistic look. The sound effects are bizarre and the scoring is generic. Fairy tales can work when modernised if done the right way. Done the right way Hansel and Gretel does not, all of the ideas it has comes across as derivative in alternative to having ideas of its own, and it is very difficult to enjoy the movie when you know what is going to happen next every time. The horror elements just don't work either, any suspenseful or tense build ups are next to nothing and all of the characters seem to be oblivious to what is going on. I also could tell from hearing the dialogue that Hansel and Gretel had absolutely no idea of what it wanted or was trying to be, having one moment where it is so simplistic it is almost childish and then another where it's all gory and foul-mouthed just doesn't gel and makes everything confused instead. The characters are cardboard with limited attempt at any kind of development and also come across as annoying. And the acting is bad, very bad even. Only Dee Wallace tries, though while she looks as though she's enjoying herself and she has the best lines(not saying much) she doesn't come as much of a threat, which was quite a big distraction considering that she is the main villain here. But not as glaring as the disasters with the script and story. All in all, not the worst that The Asylum has made but still a dud. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Accidentally watched the movie, thought it was the one with Jeremy Renner.

Seriously: Why make a ripoff of a movie and name it that similar plus in the f**king same year? Wasted like 45 minutes (accidently) and the rest intentionally.. Thought it couldn't get any worse than it was at that point when I realized it was the wrong movie due to bad acting and a complete bulls**t-script.

However: There is just one good thing which I can tell about the movie. The "hot" Gretel... The rest is just negative, as like the already mentioned bad acting and the bullshit-script. But also the horrible makeup.

This movie is just ridiculous.

Watch it when you are stoned and with friends, you'll laugh your ass off.

3/4 out of 10 , I don't really like trash-movies... If this was supposed to be one.

Made this account just to post that.

I have written a handful of reviews over the years and only a out movies that were lesser known and if I was pleasantly surprised by how good they were. This was not one of those movies unfortunately! I don't like to take sophist at movie makers as whether a movie is good or bad, a lot of effort is required to make a movie and I have the attitude that if I don't have something positive to say, then don't say anything at all, but I had to take exception with this one. Their were definitely some real corny scenes and dialogue in it that make you wonder how can anyone with half a mind make a movie like that, but it was created nonetheless. One scene in particular comes to mind, which is what prompted me to write this review, and that was the scene when Hansel and Gretel were helping the blond girl escape from one of the brothers and Gretel cut his throat. Hansel then responded " Hey, it was either him or us. " And he said that because she seemed distraught over the fact that she had to take a life and felt bad for doing so! That line really takes the cake for me as you have maniacs trying to kill and eat you, you kill one to help you escape and them you feel guilty and awful about it?? In any event, this movie had much more potential than was shown, unfortunately it was not reached. But I still watched it in it's entirety and if not anything else, it was one of those movies that was good because it was so bad, possibly take on a cult status, but I don't think that would be the case here. I have to add one more comment about Hansel when he starts eating himself, their were several scenes in which pain that should have existed, was not prevalent in this movie, especially as he devours his own body, no pain whatsoever as he acts like he's munching on a drumstick of chicken. I men come on, they could've at least made him feel the pain of eating his own arm, just saying! But what do I know about making motives, I just watch them!