Hansel & Gretel

I have written a handful of reviews over the years and only a out movies that were lesser known and if I was pleasantly surprised by how good they were. This was not one of those movies unfortunately! I don't like to take sophist at movie makers as whether a movie is good or bad, a lot of effort is required to make a movie and I have the attitude that if I don't have something positive to say, then don't say anything at all, but I had to take exception with this one. Their were definitely some real corny scenes and dialogue in it that make you wonder how can anyone with half a mind make a movie like that, but it was created nonetheless. One scene in particular comes to mind, which is what prompted me to write this review, and that was the scene when Hansel and Gretel were helping the blond girl escape from one of the brothers and Gretel cut his throat. Hansel then responded " Hey, it was either him or us. " And he said that because she seemed distraught over the fact that she had to take a life and felt bad for doing so! That line really takes the cake for me as you have maniacs trying to kill and eat you, you kill one to help you escape and them you feel guilty and awful about it?? In any event, this movie had much more potential than was shown, unfortunately it was not reached. But I still watched it in it's entirety and if not anything else, it was one of those movies that was good because it was so bad, possibly take on a cult status, but I don't think that would be the case here. I have to add one more comment about Hansel when he starts eating himself, their were several scenes in which pain that should have existed, was not prevalent in this movie, especially as he devours his own body, no pain whatsoever as he acts like he's munching on a drumstick of chicken. I men come on, they could've at least made him feel the pain of eating his own arm, just saying! But what do I know about making motives, I just watch them!

This "Hansel & Gretel" film has NO positive attributes. It is the worst horror film that I have witnessed in a LONG LONG time. I'm telling you, as an avid fan and (not to toot my own horn here...) and aficionado of sorts when it comes to horror, that this is pure garbage of the highest order

It is very difficult to tell the world, "EVERYONE will enjoy this horror film!" when I love a horror film.People's tastes just differ too much.

However, on this occasion, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that NO ONE will enjoy this film. It is absolutely terrible.

Dee Wallace (bless her for trying) is the only part of this movie that kept me from turning it off 20 minutes into it. And I NEVER do that, certainly not with horror films. I LIKE poorly acted and cheesy horror films to an extent, but they have to have something special for me to enjoy something like that. I mean, "Friday the 13th" sequels have 90% cheese and 10% horror, yet the mystique of those victims, the reality of the violence, the care you (sometimes) incur for a character, not to mention the butch Jason himself, make me ENJOY those films. "Hansel & Gretel" has NOTHING but the lowest budget in the history of horror films (maybe other than "BTK Killer" - still the reigning champ of worst movies of all time) and that low budget combined with a complete lack of any serious plot or scary moments shines through, and makes this film unwatchable. Cringe-worthy. Even the violence sucks, folks. And when even the violence is sub-par in a horror film (WELL BELOW PAR), and there are NO redeeming qualities, it makes for an absolute embarrassment of a film. It's these types of films that give horror a bad name. This madness must stop.

Dee Wallace is worth watching for about 10 minutes, but she's being directed by a director who quite literally could be a rhesus monkey, and certainly is not an "actor's director", so even her performance is greatly flawed in many areas, most likely due to the director and editing of the acting she turned in.

Take an avid horror fan's word for it, and don't waste your time on this dreck. THIS FILM IS NOTHING BUT TERRIBLE!!! You've been warned.

When somebody is really hurt, I mean there is slight panic, and you find a house, what is the first thing you say when familiar face opens the door? Think about it. In this movie the answer is "I did not know you lived here. Bla blah blah blah...Oh by the way: My brother here is bleeding to death."

This movie is embarrassing. The sound effects are so familiar. The story beyond predictable. But the food is good.

If you want a boo-movie this is the one for you.

The acting wasn't all that bad... Well it was but the script did not give them anything to work with. It feels like they all read a summary of a story and acted it out in somebodies backyard.

I know the requirement is to write 10 lines about a movie but that is because calling it by a 4 letter word would be to obvious.

Oh My God. This movie sucked a**. I feel as though I should kill myself now. This movie cannot be unseen. I will forever remember it as the worst movie i had ever laid eyes upon. My IQ burned by 20 points while my sense refuses to comprehend why was such an awful movie was ever written, filmed, acted, edited and finally released to the unsuspecting audience. The characters were unified in their stupidity, the character buildup was forced and felt unnatural. The visual effects seemed to have been created by an 8 year old boy using MS-Paint (and not in a good way). The acting was absolutely shameful and degrading. I feel sorry for all those involved in the making of this waste of time in film disguise.

hear my words, those responsible for the movie need be avenged!

WHY GOD? WHY!?

Accidentally watched the movie, thought it was the one with Jeremy Renner.

Seriously: Why make a ripoff of a movie and name it that similar plus in the f**king same year? Wasted like 45 minutes (accidently) and the rest intentionally.. Thought it couldn't get any worse than it was at that point when I realized it was the wrong movie due to bad acting and a complete bulls**t-script.

However: There is just one good thing which I can tell about the movie. The "hot" Gretel... The rest is just negative, as like the already mentioned bad acting and the bullshit-script. But also the horrible makeup.

This movie is just ridiculous.

Watch it when you are stoned and with friends, you'll laugh your ass off.

3/4 out of 10 , I don't really like trash-movies... If this was supposed to be one.

Made this account just to post that.