Teddy Bears

This film is a horrific example of rape culture.

The primary focus is on the emotions and reactions of the male characters, and whether they should "allow" their friend to have sex with their girlfriends, with much less focus on whether the women themselves would actually want to sleep with the creep. The clear implication is that the female characters' decisions are secondary, if they are to have any say in the matter at all.

The fact that this is described as a "comedy" albeit a slightly dark one, is the only laughable thing about it. There's nothing funny about watching a group of over-privileged white men arguing about who should be allowed to have sex with their female property.

Awful.

I love The Big Ask!!!. Thomas Beatty's screenplay, his and co-director Rebecca Fishman's visual realization of it, and the performances throughout combine to make a haunting, touching, and hilariously human experience. It's about grief, courage, the crazy places loss and depression can take us, and the healing nature of friendship and love. I laughed my ass off, and then I cried. I've already watched the film twice, and can't wait to see it again. David Krumholtz gives one of the bravest performances I've ever seen. He's willing to let you almost hate him, until at the last possible moment, he redeems himself, and brought this viewer, at least, to tears. I also love that the filmmakers and actors are not afraid to play with the idea that subjects like death and sex and intimacy and, well, life are both uncomfortable, and funny as hell. The desert landscape and haunting score (also love the Deer Tick song, and final song - don't know who sings it ,but it's great) really enhance the experience. I so seldom find that a movie sticks with me, but this one did. Can't wait to see what Beatty and Fishman do next.

Despite the outrageous premise, this film offers a nuanced portrait of grief that is disarmingly realistic. Anyone who has suffered a major loss, or struggled with depression, knows that profound grief often begets profoundly twisted thoughts. For anyone who has had the lonely and terrifying experience of watching their relationships unwind as they struggle to cope with these emotions and return to normalcy, this film will strike a chord.

That being said, this film is not as depressing as you might expect. It isn't often that a film explores such dark aspects of humanity without being a major downer, but this one really pulls it off. Because the movie is about grief and its effect on relationships, the characters' friendships are front and center. These friendships are genuine, layered, and heart-warming. One of the things I liked best about these friendships is that there is a noticeable--but not cliché or shallow--difference between the men's friendships and the women's friendships. It isn't often that a film so aptly dances back and forth between male friendships and female friendships without relying on silly or offensive stereotypes. But here is a writer who gets it.

Loved this movie!!!

OK, the three adjectives above are the first three that come to mind when thinking about describing this film. Another one is "surprising" because I was expecting a comedy. Optimum on Demand describes it as a dark comedy and lists it under comedy in its genre lists. Actually, this is not only surprising, it's horrifying, to think that anyone would categorize this film as a comedy. At least IMDb adds "drama" to it. Granted it has its comedic moments, that one might think of as "droll" or "dark humor" but overall it's a film that takes on some heavy issues, and its main character is going through some deep stuff with intense feelings, including pain and suffering. The people out there who may think how he responds to his dilemmas as humorous, well, I hope I never meet them, because I know I will hate them. Anyway, I did not hate this movie. In fact, by the end I liked it much more than I thought I would. And, I think it's worth a second viewing because it's the kind of film in which one might miss stuff the first go around.

Despite its high-concept, almost absurdist premise, The Big Ask is grounded in a very real set of emotions. A man dealing with extreme grief finds himself in need of a tremendous (and unreasonable) outpouring of love. His loved ones are eager to help but feel frustrated and exhausted by just how needy he can be. Anyone who has experienced loss or tried to love someone through loss has dealt with some form of these issues.

The directors elicit commanding performances from their stellar ensemble cast. The film looks great and most of all the script is authentic, funny, and really quite moving. A fine, fine film.