Futebol em Apuros

The film that turns Zlatan Ibrahimovic into Darwin Núñez, basically.

A cheap gag from a Manchester United supporter out the way, this is a rather bad flick. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't this. Its plot is practically 'The Incredible Hulk' meets 'Ghostbusters', which sounds way cooler than it actually is.

'The Soccer Football Movie' is not only boring, not only bland but also extremely tedious to sit through - though, thankfully, it only lasts for around 1hr 15minutes. The animation is very cheap-looking, something that shouldn't be so with a company like Netflix involved. Then you also have a very lacklustre voice cast.

Tania Gunadi is the only member that sticks out in my mind away from the people playing themselves, though that's probably only because I remember her from 2013's 'Snow Bride'. All those alongside Gunadi are... not the best. Kieran Walton's pronunciation of Zlatan grates, also.

Yep, that's correct. Zlatan Ibrahimovic voices himself in this and features fairly heavily. In all honesty he, given he isn't an actor, is actually fine, but him - alongside 'Weird Al' Yankovic and Megan Rapinoe - being your production's main star meant it was always likely to fall flat unfortunately.

This only avoids a lower rating as there are many worse films out there. Still, this 2022 release is probably one to avoid.

Like, ok, I'll give the movie some credit because the first half it was so incredibly bad it was actually funny to watch. I had fun pointing at the little details like how they used the same 3 background characters 20 times each.

But then it became a chore. After the first half they just add dialogue when it isn't required, making a scene that should last 1 minute, 15. It was painful, I probably aged 15 years when watching the insufferably long ending, where they pretend it's over at least three times, just to add another wacky surprise to the plot. Which is a stupid decision, since this movie is so all over the place it stops surprising you very early.

At the end of the day, I had a "meh" time watching it. The movie is still absolutely horrendous though.

Wow. Pity you can't score (no pun inteded) a 0. One of the worst things I've ever watched. It tries to be like Space Jam but ends up being something I want to forget in a hurry. It amazes me how they got people like Zlatan, Wierd Al and Megan to 'star' in this absolute drivel. Please don't waste your life watching cuz you will never get the hours back. I don't know what anyone was thinking when they decided to green light this. My 8 year old liked it but he likes anything to do with football. I don't think it is appropriate for very young viewers but 6-9 year olds would find it OK. But this film is so bad, a razzle award would be too good for it.

Animation is nice, and the general plot, despite not innovative, is not bad. Additionally, I did like the green monsters, the mad scientist, and the way both football players have been cartoonized. However, dalogues are the worst and stupidest possible, teenage four characters are boring, tepid and undevelopped, and the inclusion of whoopie cushion is a ridiculous element. To summarize, outcome is just too silly, and being a kids movie is no excuse for that, Netflix. Curiously, just to resume: the 7-1 score (the unforgettable one in 2014 World Cup semifinal) is reversable according to the film.

Boring, unfunny and pointless. If you want a fun football-based cartoon then go dig out Early Man as at least that's an enjoyable watch, but I have no idea what they are trying to achieve here or who the target audience is.

Why would you cast Weird Al Yankovic in one of the main roles in a kids movie, no child on this Earth has heard of him!

As for the film itself, it's a random mishmash of strange scenes that don't knit together, and is somehow worse than the sum of its parts. Clearly released now to cash in on "World Cup Fever" and yet still they've managed to make something that's more uncomfortable than Qatar human rights abuses.

It feels like it goes in forever, yet is only around the 80 minute mark. Woefully bad.