Stalled

Bathrooms... our most vulnerable state. Stalled's premise is clever however, it failed to take off.

The very first minute will let you know that this is an incredibly low-budget. The lighting is awful, the sound is poorly executed, and the crew seems to have forgotten tripods exist. The lighting changes so often and the shaky camera made this movie very hard to watch.

As for the plot, Stalled can hardly be labeled as a zombie film. 1/4 of the movie is zombie survival while the other 3/4 is filled with Dan Palmer's back-story/revelations and crude jokes. Speaking of jokes, I guess you can label Stalled as a Horror-comedy. It is mainly toilet humor (both figuratively and literally) but it does have a few jokes (pop-culture references) where you may smile or chuckle however, it is not enough to save it.

Honestly, Stalled has no redeeming qualities. If, for some reason, you are interested in low budget, "indie" film with zombies, I do not recommend Stalled.

A man is stuck in a toilet stall during the zombie apocalypse. Sold!

Simple and effective horror comedy concept... totally amateurish and inept execution. The disappointment here is that with some actual talent behind and in front of the camera, this could have been a real gem.

Problems begin pretty much from the opening shot when you realise the lighting and cinematography are absolutely horrid. The film achieves this really cheap and cheerless look. It resembles an episode from one of those bad teen TV soap operas from the 1990's. This should immediately alert you to the fact that you're watching student filmmakers running amok with a budget.

Uh-oh.

Okay, so the cheap look can be forgiven because this is lo-fi comedy horror stuff. Fair enough right? Surely the film will make-up for that with wit and invention and gags. Right? Right??!

No.

The next major (and most crucial) problem; the writer of "Stalled", Dan Palmer, is also its star. And this is one of those writers that fancies himself an actor. And not only does he not have the chops to carry an entire feature film by himself, he can't deliver a single line of dialogue with conviction. It's as if he's trying to remember how his script sounded in his head when he came up with the dialogue. He may as well be reading the script to himself on the toilet. He's awful. If Palmer had taken his own ego and misguided acting aspirations out of the equation, they could have cast a semi-decent comedic actor in the lead.

It starts off with the promise of a somewhat "silent" horror comedy where our main character doesn't seem to speak much, if at all. But then the dialogue kicks in and, since Dan Palmer has no idea how to keep the story going without it, we get endless "f bombs" being dropped every other sentence, horribly muddled and dull lines delivered by people who just can't act, and long interludes of Palmer monloguing and emoting with embarrassing consequences. Accentuating sentences in the wrong places, forcing emotion with no help from the clueless director, Christian James.

Add in some unconvincing zombie make-up effects and mostly unfunny gags, and you have all the ingredients of a desperate "Shaun of the Dead" knock-off without the wit, invention or the talent.

It's a shame because it's got some smart ideas and a few neat ways of sustaining its simple concept over 80 minutes. I even quite liked the punchline at the end but the journey there was so unimaginative and glib that ultimately the whole experience smacked of a bunch of student filmmakers who got a little money together and extended a short film concept into a feature.

And that's what this should have been - a student short film and nothing more.

As much as I like to support independent films, when they are this amateur and poorly executed in (almost) every area, it's advisable to warn others against crossing paths with it.

Sorry "Stalled" but you really do belong in the toilet.

The premise is stupid on paper, cleaner stuck in toilet during an apocalypse, using items like door hooks and toilet seats to fight off creatures who want to turn him into a snack at the Christmas buffet. And do you know what? We at the #UndeadSymphony actually quite enjoyed this one...

Is it Citizen Kane? No, but in truth, does this little Rosebud pretend to be? It knows it's limitations, it knows what it can and can't do and does it's best with it. The main character is unlikeable and selfish, but in a way that makes you chuckle (see the scene with fingers and catapults). Some scenes which are cliché are surprisingly tense and although you don't really see the supporting actress (bar a cartoon on a cubicle door), the hints of romance are enough to make you feel genuinely for her. The gore is good, the slapstick is funny and the acting is good and brings you into the story.

Is this Citizen Kane? No, think more Phonebooth with Colin Farrell... in a toilet... with Zombies.

Very watchable, give it a crack.

A janitor (Dan Palmer) gets trapped in a women's restroom and encounters an all-out attack by a horde of zombies.

Clearly the people who made this have talent, had an idea, had a good cast and crew and had a sense of humor. But it just never really took off. There are some scenes that are pretty awesome, but the vast bulk of the time is drawn out (I could not care less about the relationship between WC and the girl in the other stall).

Unfortunately, another issue was the strong British accents. I cannot hold this against them -- or at least I should not -- but many of the talking parts were completely lost on me. These were some thick accents.

Shaun of the Dead ? No. Waste of time ? Not if you love zombies. Everyone knows that zombies have experienced a resurgence of sorts from its heyday back in the late 70's, early 80's. Problem is, how many different ways can you tell a story involving re-animated corpses ? We've got Nazi Zombies, Ninja Zombies, Zombie Gangs, Zombies on a train, plane or automobile, etc. There's even a TV series, The Walking Dead, which simply uses zombies as a prop to distract from the real story about survivor interaction. "Stalled" is (not just) another installment in the Zombie Comedy genre, the best of which started with the above-mentioned "Shaun of the Dead" and continued with "Zombieland"... Stalled is an inventive take on the whole "holed up" premise started way back with the original; Romero's Night of the Living Dead. But instead of a farmhouse, it takes place in a women's commode. It's got it's funny bits, it's got lots of blood, and it gets right to the action; it's even has a little sexual thrill (nothing explicit); that's it's positives. What it's got going against it is, it's fairly predictable and it's just not as funny as it thinks it is...but, with zombie comedies, they've got a huge yardstick to measure up to with Shaun. For those that view zombies as just another horror character, Stalled may seem like so much crap, but for the true zombie connoisseur, it's an inventive way to tell another zombie story. Any movie that can hold your attention and (nearly) everything takes place in a restroom, must have something going for it.