Terremoto: A Falha de San Andreas

May contain spoilers!!!

The Script was AWFUL!

The film starts with the introduction of The Rock and his job. He's a search and rescue pilot and he's attempting to rescue a girl trapped in a car on the side of a cliff. He and his buddies find this amusing as they jokingly begin with the routine rescue. There is a reporter who has tagged along for an interview and now she's asking questions about the rescue and they're are answering like there's no emergency to begin with. They fly the helicopter into the ravine. Really? I guess the basket rescue line was not long enough. Anyway we'll leave it at that.

Cut to a class in session at a University where a professor is lecturing about seismic activity and that the west coast is due for a biggie. Of course the cliché "not a matter of IF but WHEN", spits out.

Cut to Hoover Dam where same professor and assistant are doing seismic field tests when.. guess what...yup. The entire dam, gone in a matter of seconds. Like a sand castle at the beach. No repercussions, cause and effect. No small local towns obliterated, washed away. This news never makes it to the local media nor the citizens of LA. Only a mere throw- away line to the professor at a later date; "sorry about what happened to your friend"

I swear this script was written in the back of a limo on the way to the studio.

Now, it's soap opera time.The Rock and his wife are finalizing a divorce. This drama goes on throughout the movie. It's like I am watching "As The World Turns" with an earthquake in the BG.

Rock's wife is dating an architect; not just any architect; he's got his own building named after him. The daughter, sat in the waiting area of the skyscraper, meets a dude who is there for a job interview. They hit it off. She pens him her cell number and he exits the scene.

Later, "WHEN" happens and the buildings are crumbling and shaking, people screaming and panicking. Remember the dude the daughter met, briefly? His No.1 priority is to find her. WHAT??? Yes, that's right. I just met you, and rather than seek shelter and escape this hell, I am going to try to find you. AND HE DOES!!!

You know it took 3 people to write this script??!!

How can the writers think we're all stupid. That we do not know what happens in an earthquake. We've seen the images and documentaries, and testimonials on You Tube. Including the notorious Tohoku Chihou Prefecture disaster a few years back. We know that making a trying to make a call on your cell after a major quake would be impossible. We know that bottles on the shelves at a restaurant would be the first victims in a quake. But not in this movie.

I broke out laughing at a scene where The Rock, riding a motorcycle through the disaster area, passes by an elderly couple who are stranded, roadside. They're waving for help. He passes them with no interest in stopping. This, from a trained search and rescue worker. Hilarious!!!

There are scenes where The Rock and his wife are the only people in LA. wandering through the rubble. Or boating through the floating debris.

MINIMAL VIOLENCE!

That all being said, I think the most disappointing aspect of the film is that you rarely see people die. It sounds morbid but it's what you come to expect in a disaster movie. Would the "Titanic" be just as good without "Propeller Guy" and the countless screaming bodies falling off the ship? The death count in SA is really low. There's 3 dudes that fall to their death and another engulfed in flames. It's suggestive violence and not like you would find in a Final Destination movie. I think because The Rock attracts a younger audience, they wanted a PG 13 rating, minimizing violence, therefore, a bigger box office demographic.

Anyway, that's my opinion. There are pages of wonderful reviews from people who praise this movie. I will respect that. To each his own. Watch, and decide for yourself.

I read some of the reviews here and am wondering what all the negative reviewers expected. Who didn't know this was a huge, costly disaster movie? Who didn't know there were going to be many unbelievable scenes? Who didn't know there would be some cheesy dialogue?

Well, I, for one, enjoyed it. The last good disaster movie I saw was The Towering Inferno, and you know that was a long, long time ago. It's still my favorite disaster flick. San Andreas, of course, had much better special effects. (several decades later, better effects, right?) I thought the scenes of the destruction were amazing.

We all know disaster movies usually focus on a handful of people in it and this one was no different. The movie was entertaining for me. I hope it is for you, too. :)

If you understand what a disaster movie is about and how it works you will go and have a nice experience just as I did, certainly superior to the "2012" or "Day After Tomorrow" dullness.

The usual cheesiness in disaster movie is there, the characters are so stereotypical it's hardly believable and worst of all it commits the usual, stupid mistake of having characters make it out of a situation just in time before everything collapses. This mistakes really annoys me firstly because it repeats itself a dozen times in the film but most of all because it's worthless: it does not add stakes or tension, they would be exactly the same, but except for maybe twice in the film situations get resolved just in time and the uselessness of it really annoyed me. The film tries too hard to give it's characters depth and barely succeeds in it. I cannot deny I was rooting for them, that maybe being due to the fact that the actors involved are honestly all doing a good enough job, but the fact that it tries to achieve character empathy through clichés that have been present in cinema since the beginning of time is ridiculous.

That being said, it does deliver the goods of a disaster movie and delivers them much more competently than the recent disaster films we have seen on the big screen. With the exception of the finale where things are unnecessarily blown up to eleven, there isn't exaggeration. The set pieces are for the major part breath-taking and original enough. I counted actually two times where my mouth totally dropped in genuine amazement. I was riveted by many scenes and this is probably due to the fact that the director never overuses CGI. It is used in the perfect dose, there is enough practicality involved and the fact that the set pieces aren't always the biggest most blown up ones made it better, it gave the film more stakes. Moreover there is a great use of long takes in certain parts of the film, one in particular is very long and threw me right into the action like no other disaster movie ever had done before.

If you know what you are in for you will have a good time and you will be given back your money's worth, you won't want to be re-watching this movie anytime, but that is perfectly fine and fits the film in what it is trying to achieve.

San Andreas (2015)

*** (out of 4)

After a massive earthquake strikes California, a father (Dwayne Johnson) must struggle to try and rescue his estranged wife (Carla Gugino) and his daughter (Alexandra Daddario) who finds herself somewhere in San Fransisco. While people are trying to dig themselves out of the damage, a seismologist (Paul Giamatti) warns people that the big one hasn't yet happened.

SAN ANDREAS is without question one of the dumbest movies that you're going to see in the year 2015 or perhaps any other year. I mean, things happen here that are without question quite stupid and that includes a really dumb love story and the logic of some of the scenes are downright laughable. With that said, one really shouldn't go into this movie expecting anything other than a popcorn movie meant to keep you entertained and this film certainly does that as it's a pretty good throwback to the Irwin Allen disaster pictures like EARTHQUAKE, THE TOWERING INFERNO and THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.

I really can't believe I'm saying this but the special effects are certainly the highlight of the picture. I'm usually not a fan of CGI because more times than not it just looks fake and takes away from the story but we're reaching a point in technology where it's really hard to see the effect, which is just great. There's a massive amount of destruction throughout this film and I must admit that the effects make you feel that everything you're watching is real. This includes the actual earthquake footage as well as all the destruction around the state. There are countless buildings that fall and the aftermath of the quake looks extremely realistic.

The story itself is quite stupid as we get all sorts of predictable scenes but I can't really blame the film for this as the entire disaster genre had silly melodrama going on. The relationship issues between Johnson and Gugino are quite stupid and of course there's a side story dealing with him not being able to save a daughter that died. The screenplay pretty much throws everything into the mix and just hopes any of it sticks. Again, it's hard to bash the "dumb" story too much since the film is so entertaining but I will give the film credit for delivering the highest body count in the history of cinema.

Again, going into SAN ANDREAS expecting anything other than entertainment probably isn't the best idea. The actors are all entertaining in their own right and that's especially true for Daddario. As far as Johnson goes, he's certainly not the greatest actor in the world but he makes for a great action star.

I'm a sucker for a disaster film, I pretty much love all of them but I do have 'some' limitations.

This one does enough to stay on the good side of the ledger.

What works, the effects (mostly) and The Rock. What doesn't, The Rock and the Disney-fying of anyone dying.

What do I mean? The Rock is hit and miss in this one, he pulls of some great scenes whereas others are just a bridge too far (he may have caught this from Fast Furious). The effects are excellent. The deaths are sanitised for perhaps younger viewers, the cost of this is tension and any real concern you may have had for the family. They are obviously going to come out ok so we don't have to explain anything to the kiddies!

But a disaster movie is a disaster movie so thumbs up from me!