Why Can't My Life Be a Rom Com?

Cringe worthy was the first thing to come to mind. The writing is pretty bad, full of cliches and tired plot points. How many coincidence's can someone stomach and stay interested in the film. The cinematography, lighting and locations are fine. The editing is uneven at best and the sound track feels really cheap. The acting is certainly not A list. The casting is another big problem, Eliza is clearly miscast and is not very believable in multiple (if not most) situations. I kept waiting for something actually funny to actually happen. The supposed tension from the competing romances is contrived and predictable. It only takes about twenty minutes into the film to have it all figured. This movie is in my opinion a waste of time.

Eliza Sloane (Em Haine) has a boyfriend and expects a promotion. She loses her job. Her boyfriend dumps her. Her best friend Sofia Munoz (Cecilia Deacon) gives her a worn-out book called "A Guide to Marrying Rich". They're 26 and going to the Hamptons to find rich husbands. Eliza likes towel boy Doug (Wern Lee) working at the club. Sofia redirects her to Rich Hawthorne (Markian Tarasiuk) while Sofia's crush John Fuller (Roraigh Falkner) is his best friend. The girls get diner waitressing jobs where cook Ryan (Aren Buchholz) starts flirting with Sofia.

It's a lower budget rom-com. The general outline of such a movie is here. The actors are mostly second tier. They're fine for who they are. These are pretty people. Their comedic chops are limited. There are a few fleeting moments of humor, but they are exceedingly fleeting. This is basically younger Hallmark and cheaper. The lower budget does present a problem when it is supposed to be in high society.

Main actresses hair reminded me of Oliver Twist; it was so distracting in every scene. Her hair was so stringy and greasy at her roots, and just... limp. Why on earth was she casted as the Lead? Not believable.

The movie had so much potential but unfortunately did not hit the mark at every possible turn. Disjointed acting, weird posing from actors in scenes, flimsy audio, horrible script. The "rom" is strong and apparent but there is no "com" to be found. Stale banter and goofy background music was their solution for comedy.

The setting and lighting were done really well, so there's the silver lining.

Main protagonist Eliza follows along with a retro book to find the rich husband of her dreams, but finds she's out of place in his world. Most of the story was generally predictable and I felt the nods to 80s rom coms, John Hughes tropes, and Eliza Doolittle a la Pygmalion and My Fair Lady. Nothing hugely transformative, but a fun lightweight summer made for tv movie!

I really enjoyed the scenes where they called out problematic behavior in old movies from the 80s and how that would never stand now.

The lead actresses had a pretty good rapport with each other (one slightly snarky, one more by the rules and friendly), but supposed romantic chemistry was lacking between most of the pairings (but maybe that's some of the point). All in all, it was cute and I especially liked the locations, sets, and costumes!

IN A NUTSHELL: After years of bad boyfriends, Eliza decides to follow the rules of dating from a 50-year-old self-help book about how to marry a rich man.

The film was written by Rob Lotterstein, and directed by Rich Newey.

TIPS FOR PARENTS: A single woman talks about living with various boyfriends who don't help pay rent.

A women's friend tells her to trap a rich man by taking off her bathing suit top and pretending she was drowning in the water.

Another thing the woman's friend tells her to do is buy an expensive dress, wear it, and then return it to the store the next day. Tip: talk to your kids about unethical friends.

Unmarried couples sleep together (we see some action but no nudity) Some profanity

THEMES: One of the characters says the most important thing is how we treat other people.

Friendship Ambition Love Romance Money and power Hard work Going after your true passion

THINGS I LIKED: John Hughes movies of the 1980s had all the charm and quirk a romantic comedy should have. This new rom-com pays homage to the Hughes formula and tropes. I love movies that reference other movies. Yeah, I'm that kind of a nerd.

The young cast includes Em Haine as the leading lady, along with Sofia Munoz, Aren Buchholz, Markian Tarasiuk, and Byron Lawson. I hadn't seen any of them in anything before.

I love movies that also reference books. In this case, it's a how-to book that doesn't exist in real life, although there are plenty of actual books on the same topic.

Young women today will be able to relate to some of the characters in this film.

Things move quickly, so the 2-hour movie flies by.

There is some cute humor.

We get to see character growth in the two young women who are featured in the story.

We get to spend time at a beautiful location and with the rich and beautiful people.

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE: The studio kept changing the title of this. One title was "Why Can't I Be Molly Ringwald?" I hate that "modern" young women think that being a feminist means they can be a tramp and use men.

It's extremely predictable in every way.

As a mom, I have a lot of issues with how both of the young women behaved.

The film itself is pretty straightforward with no unique camerawork or direction.