Jurassic Shark

Watched this last night, i was prepared for something bad, but this is on a completely new level of bad. There isn't a single good thing to say about this movie, other than, it is maybe an excellent lesson in how not to make a movie. What really amazes me about rubbish like this, is that someone must actually throw money at it to get it made, a classic case of more money than sense or a tax fiddle. I suppose one purpose of something this bad is that it gets people talking about it, hence my review/warning. Honestly, this isn't worth your time, i would stay well away, unless of course you like to watch a movie open mouth and constantly asking why, yeah we did ha ha.

After reading the reviews, all of them uniformly condemning the movie as one of the worst films ever, I felt curious. Surely it can't be that bad? Every movie has a saving grace - anything. So I decided to watch at least bits and pieces of it. And, you know what? The reviewers were absolutely right. This movie is so bad, that I find it difficult to believe that anyone could have devoted any time to making it. I mean, had you gathered together a few of your friends and started shooting with your home camcorder at your neighborhood's pond, without any planning or foresight, you would have come up with something better than this piece of garbage. There is absolutely NOTHING about this movie that can be, even remotely, recommended. It's not even in that it's-so-bad-that-it's-good class. If they took it seriously, I feel embarrassed for all those who participated in making this movie - just as I felt embarrassed watching it for, how can anybody make something so entirely devoid of any redeeming qualities?

This is perhaps the most appalling piece of art (lol) ever committed to celluloid, the acting, if you can call it that, consists of inane lines punctuated by silence while the mannequin imitating cast catch up and spout their increasingly dire reply.

The editing is a case history in how modern technology can be abused to turn a screenplay into a horror story (not for the content of the movie but for anyone viewing it who has in their life time graduated beyond watching a spinning toy above a child's cot (crib)).

From the total lack of acting skills this "thing" seems to be a product of someone who found a camera, asked a couple of friends to join in and then put together a script while eating at Chucky Cheese (or equivalent).

If those responsible ever read these reviews in future if your intending to make another movie, assuming you are not now working in a mall or a drive-thru, try to ensure the lighting is balanced, it looked like Jill (?) was having a torch shone in her eyes in the boat, and for the two girls at the start there is no need to have them splashing water at each other for 20 minutes and generally if your going to film in a stairwell again at least balance the light.

If you have nothing better to do for an hour or so (I am only 25 minutes in but stopped to write this )it is highly recommended as it truly has to be seen to be believed.

I was going to review this with all caps but ..... Don't Waste Your Time With This One. I've watched 1000's of movies and only a few have I quit watching before the end. This one is at the top of that list. Wooden acting? ... more like cement. Special effects? .... better ones could have been produced using MSPaint. Continuity? .... none that I could discern. Script and story? .... nope, didn't see any. I HAD to give it a 1 simply because there is no 0.

I have to admit that the actresses were pleasant to look at and did appear to be putting a genuine effort into their work. If this was a first film-making attempt I would be tempted to give this one a C+ for enthusiasm.

Don't waste your time. Rent Plan Nine from Outer Space instead.

Now I have watched 1000's of films over the years and quite a few terrible ones.......but this film takes the biscuit in being bad.

From the first scenes of two girls chatting they use phrases such as 'you spaz' and 'what the f'......I just knew it was going to go downhill from thereon.

Terrible over-the-top acting, poor filming/photography, lame storyline and effects that could have been done using an 'etchasketch' pad !!! To sumarise.......think of the worst film you have ever seen, times it by ten and you are still not even halfway there on how diar this was ! It doesn't even deserve a 1/10..........it makes 'Jaws the revenge' seem like the best shark film ever, if you have seen that you will understand what I mean.