Cavaleiros & Dragões

A bunch of Knights Templar on the run after breaking with their king come across a village being attacked by pirates. After some argument about whether or not they should intervene or be on their merry way before the kings men catch up to them they decide to help out. Later they learn that one of the villagers, a young woman, is being held captive aboard the pirate ship. They commandeer a boat and go out to get her not realizing she has cursed the ship with an amateurish attempt at magic. Anyone who has spilled blood and boards the ship is cursed to become a gargoyle. It never occurred to this not-too-astute novice witch that those who have spilled blood and board the ship might do so on her behalf. And so unwittingly she cursed her rescuers, the Knights Templar, who must now odyssey for a cure.

Well now, lets see.....what did I like about this movie? On the up side I thought the dragons looked okay. As well, there was a not-bad-looking agile swordswoman about 4 feet tall who likes to strike a pose after she kills. On the down side, the movie seems budget-challenged; one gets the impression that the dragons and effects siphoned off most of their funds leaving little left over for a better wardrobe for the Knights Templar (their Knight Templar outfits looked like something handed out by a homeless shelter) and a tighter script (especially better lines for the Knight Templar who liked to crack wise; he was so not funny).

Listen, these are working people on a budget who are making an effort to entertain and make a living. I appreciate that. But certainly a little better script and directing could have given their limited resources more mileage since we all know that tons of money cannot save a bad script, and that, conversely, limited funds can go a long way with a good one. Hmmm, so lets see: 1 star for effort + 1 star for the dragons + 1 star for the sword-wielding short chick + 1 star for the movie in general. That's my rational folks. 4 stars. Love, Boloxxxi.

Firstly, let's establish the facts: This is one of the many films produced from The Asylum, they can usually be found on the SyFy channel or Movies for Men. So, we have: A ridiculous title, an even more ridiculous story, wooden acting, extremely clunky dialogue and mega drive standard CGI.

Of course, for the reasons I just listed Dragon Crusaders is an absolute turd of a film. It would be easy to go on a rant, but I will refrain from that temptation. The fact is that Asylum films know their place, all those involved surely know what they are making, and these films that they make tend to actually make a profit, so fair play to them. Calling these films B movies is probably too much of a compliment, maybe Z movie, but they certainly deserve to be a genre in their own right. As long as you know what you are getting in too, have a strong alcoholic beverage at your side, then films like Dragon Crusaders are more entertaining and certainly funnier (intentionally or not) than anything Adam Sandler or Nancy Meyers ever produce.

Few movies could be considered worst than this one. Terrible acting, haircuts and costumes, martial art fighting (sic), non credible crusaders, poor scenery, elementary computer graphics, lousy plot and music and whatever you can expect by a boring movie. Plus, the warrior lady seems the result of mixing up Red Sonja, Xena and any other comic book female fighter, and i didn't know that women wore hot pants in the middle ages. The whole movie is a bad screen version of an annoying RPG. Also the weapons have not much credibility, while the people that fall struck often display no wounds. The movie lines could have been written by my nephew, and the evil wizard is a scandalous tribute to the "Wizard of Oz". I don't understand how someone spent money to produce something like this.

I can't believe this film actually made it through production. I thought there was a recession going on in the world but there still seams to be people out there with money to throw away (albeit a miserly sum). The whole thing feels like a Live Roleplaying session on a weekend. Every single close up of a weapon supposedly hacking or stabbing, pathetically portrayed worse than beginners stage night at the local primary school. The actors are so cardboard, they could be recycled for cereal packets. The CGI could well have been done by a self taught enthusiast in their bedroom late one night. The sounds of people running in terror, gives the impression of crowds fleeing, then the camera pans around and 4 to 5 is all there is. They should be running for their lives, but a gaintily trot is all your given. The only realism of the whole thing is the horses, and they act better too.

Well I didn't expect much from this film - and I'll say it's a bit less than I did expect. I will call this a Z-film -- that means is a lot less than a B-film in quality.

Remind me not to get another film made by The Asylum!! Their films are not very good.

3/10.