Alien Tornado

Giving a bad review to a SyFy movie is not really a challenge. It's so blatantly obvious thing to do that one has to think twice if it is even worth the time to type the bashing these films more often than not deserve. I'm beginning to feel like this is SyFy's strategy: keep churning out junk under the guise of light entertainment, because there are enough people that kinda enjoy passing their time watching these films and then there are those, like myself, who end up watching these in hopes something has changed.

Nothing has changed here. The images and the characters both are flat, the CGI is sub-par, and the script would again benefit from proofreading. Not that I don't trust the writers' English skills, but maybe a few more brains in the works would help in creating more passable builds of suspense, more pronounced motivations for characters etc. You know, a bit more oomph than tornadoes that are of alien origin coupled with the stock characters one can expect in such circumstances.

I've seen worse acting, and I've spent my time more foolishly, but to say that seeing a certain film is NOT the stupidest thing one can do is not really a compliment, now is it?

I can't believe this got funded to produce. Bad acting, predictable dialog, poor script, and terrible cgi. I'm used to pure dribble from the SciFi network but this is so bad I couldn't watch it at all. It tries to be the X-files but is as trite, cliché ridden as I have ever seen. Avoid this as at all costs, pure waste of time. Everyone involved with this project should be deeply embarrassed. I plead the 5th--the 5th of bourbon it would it take me to get numb enough to sit through this crap. It has no redeeming values whatsoever. Who would even want to promote this? A Smurfs marathon could only rot your brain worse. I never write reviews but I couldn't be silent on this one.

Alien Tornado (2012)

** (out of 4)

Another epic from SyFy has a farmer (Jeff Fahey), his smart daughter (Stacey Asaro), a tornado blogger (Kari Wuhrer) and a small town cop (Willard E. Pugh) noticing that the latest tornadoes aren't being reported by the media and there's just something completely different about them. It turns out that aliens are actually controlling them to take out Earth for a numbers of reasons but the biggest is that they're tired of our Bandwith bothering them. Again, it always shocks me that so many people watch these SyFy films and then complain about their low-budgets, silly plots and all around "C" material. I mean seriously, you're coming to a movie called ALIEN TORNADO so why are you expecting something great or some sort of lost classic? This film is mainly going to appeal to those who enjoy low-budget movies that are cheesy and instead of delivering first-rate material they just offer up mild entertainment. There were a lot of entertaining things in this movie as well as a few interesting cast and crew members. For starters, Jeff Burr is best remembered for LEATHERFACE: THE Texas CHAINSAW MASSACRE III and it was good seeing him back making a movie. He handles the material a lot better than most of these SyFy movies and I thought he at least kept the thing moving without it getting too slow. It was also great seeing Fahey. People complain about these movies but at least they give some good character actors a chance to be a lead. I thought Fahey was very good in his part and he did a very believable bit. He just wasn't picking up a paycheck and that's a lot more than most can say. I also thought Asaro, Wuhrer and Pugh were good in their parts and the four worked extremely well together. While the screenplay doesn't build up their characters much, the actors at least give strong enough performances to where you can care for them. The special effects of the tornadoes are quite cheap but I did like the design with the neon green lights. The story itself was quite silly and never really made too much sense. This was especially true during the final when we're given the explanation of what's going on. Again, if you're looking for a sci-fi masterpiece then it would be best to check out 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. If you're looking for cheap entertainment then that's why movies like ALIEN TORNADO are made.

Jeff Fahey is the only reason to watch this movie. In fact, most of the movies Jeff Fahey leads or costars in are like that. Oh, wait a minute. I just thought of another reason to watch this movie.

Imagine your great Aunt Mildred sitting on her sofa in front of the TV with her friends Gladys and Harriet. They are sipping some tea which they spiked with a bit of whiskey and are giggling while nibbling on their sugar cookies. They are watching this movie and appropriately gasping when the tornadoes appear or when someone gets sucked up by a tornado (a comical vision which offers no real fright) or when the bad guy puts on his rough act with the good guy (serious overacting here by nearly everyone in the movie but for Jeff Fahey and the lady who played his daughter, Stacey Asaro). Great Aunt Mildred leans forward and shouts at the TV, "Aw, shut up ya big bully!" Friends Harriet and Gladys loudly agree between giggles and sips of tea.

If you want a B movie which has some good stuff with a few laughable things in it, this isn't it. There is no good stuff. But there's lots of laughable things in it. Watch it with Great Aunt Mildred. It will make her happy. Seriously. She deserves quality time with you.

On a windy day in the country, pretty in her pony-tail Stacey Asaro (as Kelly Walker) gets off the school bus and checks her mailbox. Thrilled at receiving great SAT scores, Ms. Asaro shares the news with scruffy-looking, bearded daddy Jeff Fahey (as Judd Walker). He doesn't seem as excited. Although she claims to be 17-years-old, daughter Asaro probably lies to cover being in high school for several extra years. She should be both unashamed and happy, and Mr. Fahey should be jumping for joy. Their celebration is interrupted when the wind builds to a dangerous tornado. Meanwhile, in Chicago, storm-chaser and climate expert Kari Wuhrer (as Gail Curtis) detects a tornado on her laptop. These tornadoes are not normal. They glisten with green light, shoot out lightning bolts and move around like they're a form of intelligent life...

Syfy should probably stop trying to make serious science-fiction and just concentrate on comedies. That doesn't mean sci-fi movies can't be made on a low budget. The Syfy channel simply doesn't know how to do them. In fact, good science-fiction films can be made on even lower budgets. The aforementioned players take their assignment much too seriously, although the two leading women wear tight tank tops. The name appearing most often in the credits is Ken Badish, with Jeff Burr directing. They succeed mostly with cartoon-like villain David Jensen (as Armstrong) and likewise toned Sheriff Willard E. Pugh (as Norman "Norm" Mackey). The one who really captures the true worth of her surroundings is corpulent Claire Conti (as Denise Gordon). Her performance as the bubbly, obese climate assistant is a tornado of fun.

** Alien Tornado(2012-04-21) Jeff Burr ~ Jeff Fahey, Kari Wuhrer, Stacey Asaro, Willard E. Pugh