Night Claws

I don't normally write film reviews but just had to regarding this, i can safely say this is the worst film i have ever had the misfortune to watch, in fact it was that bad i had to turn it off an hour into it, the acting is diabolical as well as the script, it came off as if a child had written and directed it, a huge killer Bigfoot that walks around the forest tearing people up which you don't see much of and some dippy sheriffs who thinks its a serial killer, its so corny it makes you cringe, it could of had potential if more money was available and they got actors who could actually act, a complete waist of time so watch it at your peril!!! you've been warned.

My friend Mike looked at me and asked, "Wanna come over to my house Friday night? We're gonna have tons of booze, play games, watch stupid horror movies, and even try a Ouija Board." He had me at "tons of booze." So I showed up Friday night but I skipped the card games because I suck at poker. I went downstairs and 10 people were about to watch a movie. I asked, "What movie are we watching?" and sat down. The guy next to me shrugged. "I think some Sasquatch movie." I thought he was talking about some Sasquatch documentary. But as the opening credits came on I saw the words "Midnight Releasing" and I said out loud, "Oh s***." Everyone laughed at that. But they should have known it was no laughing matter.

Midnight Releasing is a production company that is notorious for putting out horror movies so garbage even Uwe Boll would be unable to watch. I went to their website once and checked out their trailers. It was just one piece of garbage after the other. I shouldn't have watched this Night Claws movie. But I thought the booze would make it tolerable. It didn't.

Immediately, when the movie began we're shown the obligatory "young people having sex in a secluded area" scene. During the sex, the inevitable girl stops the sex because she heard something part, where the guy says, "Probably just the wind". Followed by "There it is again. John, go into that creepy dark, forest and check out that terrifying sound" part.

Although the movie already started downhill, it goes further downhill by the minute. The acting is atrocious. Plus, a lot of the voice work for the outdoor scenes sounded like it was post-synchronized in an indoor setting. Plus, the script was bad. Unnecessary scenes and people arguing with each other because the writer thought that was necessary for the plot, or something. The regular stock characters in horror were there: the bimbo; the selfish jerk who acts aggressively to everyone for little or no reason; the deranged redneck who knows about the creature; the violent redneck who wants to do whatever he can to kill it; the old, guttural-voiced sheriff who relies on some scientist to inform him on the creature; and the plethora of random people who are just thrown in to increase the kill count.

The special effects is stuff any guy off the street could do. There's this one scene that is extremely dark but it's clear that it was filmed at daytime and darkened with a filter. In this scene, they build a fire. But it's painfully obvious the fire is computer-generated. The computer animated "fire" looked like Super Mario Bros. graphics.

There actually isn't any gore in this movie. For a monster movie to lack gore, that's truly awful. I'll just stop here. To be honest, this is the type of movie only for those horror fans looking for a horror movie where it's obvious the filmmakers just wanted to make a stupid horror without any thought to being scary, original, suspenseful, or innovative. It's clear everyone involved with this movie knew this movie would suck. And if you watch this movie, you'll know it's gonna suck within the first 10 minutes. 1/10 stars from me only because a zero rating isn't allowed on this site.

NIGHT CLAWS opens with two amorous young people being turned into human salsa by the hairy horror of the title! The next day, we're introduced to Sheriff Joe Kelly (schlock omni-god, Reb Brown!), and his deputy, Roberta Glickman (Sherrie Rose). Police are stumped as they sift through the various body parts.

Meanwhile, a trio of hunters are tracking the creature, and a group on a survival training hike are introduced. Many deaths ensue, as the hunters are hunted and the hikers find survival to be... difficult. This Bigfoot isn't just deadly, it's fast!

Enter Professor Sarah Evans (Leilani Sarelle), who has been sent in by the government to assist Kelly and company.

Oh my!

A group of local youths have decided to have a beer bash in the woods! Will anyone be around to be hungover in the morning?

As killer yeti movies go, this one isn't a total disgrace. After all, what are we expecting, Macbeth? The monster isn't all that terrifying, but gets the job done. Gorehounds will be ecstatic over its gushy attacks! The twist near the end is trumpeted a bit too soon, but still works well enough.

Watch for Frank Stallone in a cameo....

This movie tried to bring in a lot of plot points and twists and random, movie-cliché junk. It was as if it was trying to be multiple different movies whilst simultaneously failing at all of them. Not worth the watch.

It's been a while since I've watched a So Bad It's Good type of film, and really, that's all I was hoping this would be. I saw Ted Prior's name, I saw bigfoot in the synopsis, I was in the mood for cheese....what the hell am I waiting for? Let's get going! First off, after starting it, the title calls it Apex-Predator. Whoa, that's even worse than Night Claws....alright!

It doesn't take long for this film to show it's ugly bigfoot head. We got a bad acting right from the get go, and the acting as a whole is what will keep you watching. There may have been one nip slip in the opening scene but nothing else, and there's only minimal blood/make-up effects. So there's no surprises to be had with Apex Night Predator Claws.

Getting back on track and the sole reason to watch this film is to watch the camp. There are a handful of "well-known" B movie actors here, but Reb Brown and Ted Prior stole the show for this guy. When I say "stole the show" I actually mean, kept me from falling asleep. Reb Brown is so amateurish he warmed my heart. He was almost cute with his acting. You could see him remembering his lines, trying to use the correct amount of emotion, it was awesome. He also had a couple funny sequences too. Then we got Ted Prior who is just a hot-blooded, son of a bitch the entire time he's on screen. You get the gist his character is a tough guy, but he takes it one step further and just becomes a jerkoff. So much so, it becomes a positive. He tells his wife in it to shut up at least 5 times. Telling your wife to shut her yap = gold.

So yeah, watch this flick if you truly enjoy camp and/or are a bigfoot enthusiast. If you're neither, pass on this all day long and then some. If you're a little of column A and Column B, I'd say check it out. If you came here looking for any advice on dating, then you've come to the right place. If she talks too much, dump her ass!