Creep Van

CREEP VAN is a very, very low budget slasher flick, barely more expensive than your average Troma movie although it's a lot more serious in tone. Saying that, there is a Lloyd Kaufman cameo to hammer home the similarities, along with a couple of entirely goofy sex scenes that are played for laughs and have absolutely nothing to do with the central thrust of the storyline.

The creep van of the title is used by a sinister serial killer to butcher his usually female victims, and it takes a couple of no-good characters to team up and go after him. The plot is very light and pretty much an excuse for a string of gory deaths, which are the best thing about the film. The special effects are surprisingly decent for what is a low budget, even if they're completely laughable at the same time. Still, it takes more than gore to make a decent movie, and this is anything but; just another ultra-low budget piece of trash no different from all the rest.

If you like a some low-brow comedy to accompany your bloody B-rate slasher, then the Creep Van will deliver! *NOTE: The version found on Netflix is NOT the raunchier, uncut, extended version that I viewed online.*

Despite a couple of shoddy performance moments and an unmistakably low-budget vibe, Creep Van manages very decent gore and a few laugh-out-loud moments. The humor is fairly original, as is the storyline. The characters and kills are curiously quirky. It is written nicely, and the film makes the most of its' budget by employing traditional stage effects and camera trickery rather than CGI tactics. The soundtrack and sound FX, though mostly absent, worked well enough and weren't a distraction.

The pace is fine, however it's hard to keep track of time that passes within the film. Has a day passed, or a month? Contemplating this was a bother. In fact, there are a number of missing or incomplete components within the story that were slightly bothersome. They did not however, impede My overall enjoyment. I was glad to have watched it, and would watch it again.

There are a number of topless scenes, hilariously bizarre sexuality, and other graphic moments that make this film inappropriate for those under 17 and for those with a big stick up their ultra-tight posterior.

Know what I hate about a lot of modern horror films? The fact that so many have good, juicy death scenes... surrounded by acres and acres of pure undiluted s**t. I think you know where I'm going with this. The titular van has windows that'll decapitate you, seatbelts designed to suffocate and a button on the radio that will send a spike right through your heart. Great.

Until you realise... you have to tolerate unfunny sex jokes, repellent characters, hokey dialogue and BBAADD acting for 95% of the length. No thanks. Also, with all the VHS tapes in the background, and no sign of a laptop anywhere, could this unaccountably be set in the 90's? If so, I give them apropos. Of Nothing.

Ugh. Stupid film. Go away. 4/10

It was actually more a horror comedy Even if it wasn't meant to be one I found myself laughing at lots of the cheesy scenes.

One thing I will say about this film...if you have seizures or are prone to headaches if flashing lights etc, as soon as the credits appear at the beginning, skip. I thought my eyes were going to explode watching that bit.

Anyway, the film. I liked it. True, its not an AAA title, but some of these films that are unknown can turn out to be real gems....sometimes.

So, this guy is down on his luck, starts work in a carwash, and due to public transport being a pain, wants a car/van etc. Rings a number, and thats when the trouble begins.

The van itself, has some very interesting ways to kill a person, obviously controlled by the driver. I was a little confused why no-one reported all these bodies etc, but that would have spoilt the film.

There is some humour in there, not a comedy type film, but just little bits that make you chuckle. Also, the sepecial effects are all the original type of stuff, no cgi/green-screen stuff, of which I mostly prefer.

If you like that kind of film, then give this a go, you may just like it