Blubberella

Uwe Boll, you love him or you hate him but this flick is utterly trash. I guess that they had a lot of fun making this flick. It features Nazis and let that be the most important part in Bloodrayne 3. So it's clear that they filmed it back to back with Bloodrayne 3.

The script doesn't go anywhere but the acting was by some okay. I kept watching it to see where something is happening and the few things that happen is one vampire attack, one corpse of a vampire being investigated by some kind of perverted doctor and some nude chicks walking around.

I didn't laugh a bit with the comedy or jokes or even situations. The only thing that saved this turkey is Lindsay Hollister (Blubberella) and Brendan Fletcher (Rampage). The idea was okay but what a mess it became.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 1/5 Effects 1/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 1/5

I love-hate Uwe Boll. That's the best way to describe my feelings towards him.

I absolutely hate the man, and I hate his films as honest attempts at art. However, I do love the "character" of Uwe Boll, and I love his films in an ironic, "so bad, they're good" kind of way.

So I came into "Blubberella" from a fairly open place, expecting if nothing else, an amusingly-awful film. The problem is, this is an attempt at a comedy. When a film is meant to be serious, and it fails, it usually works in that sort-of ironic way because it's failed drama ilicits unintentional laughs. However, a bad comedy just sucks, because it fails in every respect. A failed dramatic scene can work if it becomes so bad, it's funny. However, no matter what, an unfunny joke is never funny, even in an unintentional way. It's just painful.

And that's this film in a nutshell- painful and full of unfunny jokes.

For some background, this film was shot at the same time as another of Boll's films, "BloodRayne III: The Third Reich", which was actually one of his better films, because he understood that it wasn't a good movie, and simply tried to make it entertaining. Hence, it worked as mindless thrills with lots of blood and sex, like a 70's exploitation film. I'd actually recommend it, it's a lot better than the first two, which were just foul.

This film shares the entire same cast and crew as that film, and re-uses all of the sets, props and costumes. This film was basically made to be a cheap cash-in- Boll could film two movies for the price of one and release them separately.

Lindsay Hollister stars as the title character "Blubberella", whose hobbies include eating and killing Nazi's. She's a damphire- a half-human, half-vampire living in Nazi Germany during World War II. She spends her time killing Nazi's, mainly to steal their food it seems. (Her opening kill features her slaughtering a Nazi for his sub-sandwich)

Hollister, to her credit, at least tries, and is perky and fun, but the script is so sloppy, there's no enjoyment in her performance. Other actors include Clint Howard, Brendan Fletcher and Michael Pare, and they all give lukewarm-to-craptastic performances. Nobody really has their heart in this, and they're all about two seconds from looking at the camera and apologizing to the viewer for this filth.

There is a vague attempt at a plot, including a resistance group or something (I don't know specifics, I only watched the first half, and I wasn't paying attention, it was so dull), but it's all just a scam to cram a lot of bad stereotype jokes down our throat.

There is almost nothing to say about this film, good or bad. It's just bland. Also, a lot of the jokes are too random and have no structure. Despite taking place in WWII, Blubberella has a laptop computer and uses a Jewish dating website, there are passing references to Elvis Presley and George W. Bush, etc. Sure, anachronistic humor can be funny, but it has to have a basis within the reality of the film, and there is no attempt at setting up any internal logic here.

There's also a lot of horrible stereotyping of groups such as the obese, gays, etc, and it's really offensive. And not in the good way, where taboos are pushed and ideas are parodied, but more in a grade-school bully kind of way. There's no love or respect in the offensive humor- you get the feeling that Boll really is just very jaded and spiteful and hateful of everyone he makes fun of.

There's nothing to say about this film beyond that. It's 80-or-so minutes of unfunny, offensive stereotyping, and is extremely cheaply made. It's one of Boll's worse films (though from from his absolute worse), and isn't worth checking out. Skip it. A 1 out of 10.

An obese half-vampire bisexual living in WWII Nazi Germany with cell-phone service, internet access, a 2001 Apple clamshell iBook and a Segway.

Even though the lead actress Lindsay Hollister took pains to try to change the movie title, and she publicized that she only took the part because it was difficult for plus-sized actresses to find roles, she is an utter jewel in this movie with her comic timing.

Willam Belli is a stereotype chameleon (swishy queen, blackface mammy, blackface thug, etc.) playing off of Hollister so well, between them they make the movie.

The bonus in the movie was Clint Howard as the Josef Mengele analogue. Half playing it straight dramatic and half doing comic Nazi goose steps.

"Blubberella" is a lot of politically incorrect fun, and you'll get a lot of laughs as long as you know what you're in for.

Boll parodied his own movie. Beyond Cringe, but there are few films like it.

German director Uwe Boll has a reputation for prolifically turning out films that are, shall we say, unsatisfactory. He has worked with reputable actors and sizable budgets, yet all his films fail to convey, if anything, the joy of film making. It saddens me to say that the flick Blubberella epitomizes this total failure.

I have seen many bad movies in my life; some so bad they became good, some bad in a campy way, some just plain crap, but Blubberella is none of that. It is uninspired, clumsy (and not in a quaint way), fake and most of all BORING. Uwe Boll must have had his sense of humor surgically removed to be able to produce such an utterly unfunny comedy.

I can rage against bad films when they have redeeming qualities, or when there was a start of an idea, a good intention. Blubberella is just absolutely nothing.