Inbred

Gory 'film-within-a-film' opening scene aside, Inbred takes a bloody age to get to the good stuff and could never be accused of being all that original, the 'city-folk falling foul of rural maniacs' plot-line borrowing heavily from many sources: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The League of Gentlemen, 2000 Maniacs, Hostel, Wrong Turn, and Straw Dogs, to name just a few.

However, it's all well worth the wait, Chandon finally opening the violence valves and lifting the splatter sluice gates after forty-five minutes to transform proceedings into a gloriously demented, blood-drenched piece of xenophobic craziness that more than lives up to the gory hype. True, some of the CGI is less than perfect, but with the level of nastiness set so high, it really doesn't matter: it's easy to ignore the occasional dodgy effect when people are being hideously mutilated with such regularity, enthusiasm and imagination.

Chandon pulls out the stops to entertain in the worst possible taste, with amazingly twisted characters and a catalogue of carnage that is truly staggering, including a fantastic beheading with a meat cleaver, numerous shot gun blasts to the head and torso, a horse stomping a skull, chainsaw dismemberment, and a really disgusting 'slurry pump body explosion'. The only thing he forgets to include is some gratuitous female nudity; even Emily Booth, who has a brief cameo, keeps all of her clothes on!

Ha! I've been to Yorkshire loads of times and have only been chopped up by yokels a couple of times. The rest of the time it's been lovely. Good food! But now after watching this I think I might have ate human flesh a couple of times.

Four annoying teenagers and two social workers head off to some backward town in Yorkshire for some reason and quickly realise that the residents are a bit Royston Vasey (the League of Gentleman is a BIG influence on this film). So what started out as a group exercise quickly turns into a total gore fest as our non-locals try to escape being forced into one of the sickest 'shows' you'll ever see.

Honestly, this is one of those 'folks being carved up by locals' films, but with a healthy does of British sarcasm! That guy you see with the twitch and chainsaw? That's Paddy from soap opera Emmerdale! Points for that! And he's great! The outsiders go up against the local and it's literally an explosion of blood and guts, folks are cut in half, have their heads blown off, are stamped by horses, and one guy is forced full of cow crap until he explodes! This film is mental and without the humour may not have worked, but it worked for me! Paddy also made a zombie film...I'm well tracking that down...

A group of young offenders and their care workers get more than they bargained for when they make an excursion to the aptly named Yorkshire village of Mortlake. On arrival, they receive a less-than-warm welcome from the inhabitants, a shambling, leering assortment of rural Northern stereotypes possessed of suspect genetics and psychotic intentions. Imagine Eli Roth directing The League of Gentlemen, or Eden Lake played for a (gruesome) laugh, and you've pretty much nailed the tenor taken here. Jo Hartley of This is England fame does a decent action heroine turn as one of the two care workers, and Seamus O'Neill's village pub patriarch proves a rather amusing antagonist with his rabble rousing and exaggeratedly provincial patois. Oh, and Emily Booth puts in a short-lived cameo, too! Sure, it's not essential viewing by any means, but, nevertheless, it proves an effective little hundred-minute diversion.

Being a fan of those movies that detail the clashes of culture, the backwoods inbred tortuous heathens vs the clean cut/city folk on vacation who always just fall right into the hands of their captors, i was right away interested to see this film. The story is a rehash of most of these type of movies. As the movie approached the half an hour mark i was starting to get bored, and once the "meat" of the movie began, it turned silly and predictable. One thing the film does have going for it are some exceptionally great kill scenes. In fact once the killing started i found myself fast forwarding to the next one, and on till the end. If the director had put more energy into the story and made me care if these people were well you know "taken care of inbred style" then it would of made for a better experience. All in all its the same ol same ol, with some great gore. I gotta give it a 5.

thanks for reading my first review!

Five things the film does right:

1. The most irritating character gets chopped up first.

2. The gore is genuinely disturbing, this is not a film for the squeamish.

3. Some very inventive deaths... my favourite is the one where the guy is forcefed with the muckspreader...

4. The ending was somewhat... Unexpected (In a good way).

5. The mutants sing a catchy little song about killing outsiders throughout, but we only hear one verse. If you have the full version, PM me.

Five things the film does wrong:

1. More characters making stupid decisions... Would you REALLY leave all your mobile phones at home if you were in a village full of deformed cannibals? The list goes on...

2. Yes, we know they're in fear for their lives, but there is some serious overacting here from the potential victims.

3. The film LIES to us... it says that the best holiday a young offender in custody can hope for is a week away collecting scrap metal from abandoned railways, when the truth is probably more along the lines of Sun, Sea and Surf in Spain. At the taxpayer's expense of course...

4. The director seems to believe that just looking at the freaks of nature that inhabit the ramshackle village should be enough to scare you. I dunno, I reckon I've seen far more fearful specimens staggering about my town centre on a Saturday night. Mostly wearing Crocs and ill-fitting boob tubes. If you didn't laugh, you'd...

5. The resale value for it on eBay could be higher...

That's it. I'm off down the pub for some lemonade and a packet of hairy pork scratchings. Care to join me? ;) 5/10