2010: Moby Dick

This take on the classic literary masterpiece Moby-Dick does not deserve to be even mentioned in the same sentence. Herman Melville is turning in his grave right now. Just about the only thing that's related to the book are the names of the characters. The story is set in a present day submarine, features some of the worst acting imaginable, grade school quality production, and just about the worst script.

And the worst part about it is that it takes itself seriously. I am sure it will quickly make it's way to IMDb's bottom 100. I am just happy I didn't waste any money on this pile of crap.

I am sorry I wasted my money on buying such a poor movie, this has got to be one of the most ridiculous and poorly made movies on record. Very poor acting, nothing life like at all, I am sure this movie was made in some child's bathtub using his play whale and toy submarine. I wouldn't give this a one out of ten, how can anyone take credit for this kind of rubbish, it is truly an insult to the first Moby Dick movie. The whale Moby Dick looked like a big rubber toy and the waves created by computer graphics were obscene. I am sure they could have done better at a sea side "Punch and Judy" show.

They should take the camera's back to where you got them until they know how to use them, was this some kind of "Your on Candid Camera" stunt?

Don't waste your money or time watching this, I'd rather go down to the lake and feed the ducks!!

I have no idea HOW they got the cast to do this hokum. It was frakking unbelievably awful.

I have no idea how they got the cast to sign on, I have no idea. Blackmail? Threats of torture? Kidnapping? But they were just wasted. They looked like they couldn't believe they had been forced to do such awful drivel.

What killed it was the story. The original was a wonderful novel. It has been done quite well at least three times before, with Gregory Peck, Patrick Stewart or Jack Aranson as Ahab. Orson Welles made a short of it. A new version is coming out with William Hurt as Ahab, and I look forward to it. Even if the script had been decent, I think Barry Bostwick would have been out of his league playing Ahab.

The special effects aren't that bad, but it takes so little to do that these days. What was AWFUL was how they used them. The whale looks to be the size of an island, simply bigger than any animal has ever been found to be.

I could go on and on and on. The only pleasure from it was like that of watching an airplane about to crash. You know it's a disaster in progress and it will be famously horrible.

Well, you already know what kind of movie this was going to be. A bad one, and it turned out to be just that. It is the kind of movie that is similar to a car crash, you know you shouldn't look, but you can't help it.

Lets start with the story, it was sort of a re-take on the classic tale, though oddly twisted and warped in a sense. And it was actually not really necessary for the world to have another Moby Dick movie, at least not of this caliber.

The special effects in the movie were, well, special! They were hilarious, and I was wondering how come in this day when we write 2010, that these type of fake effects and cheesy CGI's still take place. If you can't make it look believable, don't make it at all. Half-hearted attempts do not please the viewers.

There were two familiar faces in this movie, those being Barry Bostwick (playing captain Ahab) and Renée O'Connor (playing Dr. Michelle Herman). Now why they agreed to do this movie is beyond me, but hey, who am I to question Hollywood celebrities? Usually Bostwick and O'Connor appear in sort-of-alright movies and TV series, but this? ... The cast in the movie was actually decent enough, despite the lack of any major blockbuster names. And most people also put on adequate performances, though there was a lot of times where you could see that the people didn't fully have their hearts in the movie.

As for the dialogue, well it was adequate, though at times kind of strained to witness.

This take on the Moby Dick story is one that should be bagged and tagged and not really talked about again. It was not a good attempt at it, in my honest opinion. And truthfully, then I didn't even make it halfway through the movie. I couldn't stand the effects (or rather lack thereof) and the weak storyline. I gave up. But hats off to those actually managing to sit through the movie in its entire length.

At this point in time, Asylum movies are among the worst in all of creation. You don't get to be this bad without effort.

Anyone watching this movie in the hopes that it will be anything more than a cheap sucker-punch at the classic novel Moby Dick will be disappointed in the worst way. If you were expecting a remotely plausible story with reasonably capable actors and even some worthwhile special effects, then you should have never watched a movie made by Asylum. You are very behind on the times if you don't know that Asylum doesn't do that sort of thing.

It is soul-crushingly bad. It's like watching despair. So much so that I'm beginning to suspect that they are doing it on purpose. Nothing else could possibly explain how they can relentlessly churn out terrible movie after terrible movie, with absolutely no shame. I'm truly starting to believe that Asylum is in fact dedicated to the less-than-noble cause of making their mark as the worst movie making company in history. All of the things that a good movie needs will never be found in an Asylum motion picture. They need a trophy for epic failure in movie making.

But it's not all bad. Asylum is definitely good at one thing: Making movies so bad that they mysteriously 180-themselves into something good. This movie didn't really succeed at that, but it did have some very entertaining moments. The "special effects" are notably radical; certain scenes with the whale literally caused me to slip out of my chair laughing, and the look on the doctor's face nearly caused me to have a stroke (watch it and you'll see what I mean). For that reason alone I'm giving the movie a 2 instead of a 1.