A Grande Aventura de Sinbad

Okay, let's just say I made a movie, and I called it...George Washington: The Original United States President. But then the main character was named Bob Washington, and he's the great, great, great grand nephew of George Washington's butler. Just some guy who works at The Home Depot and gets stranded on an island during a cheap, off-season Indian Ocean cruise.

Adrian Sinbad is not the original prince of anything. He's just some 20th or 21st century nobody who probably doesn't have a drop of Persian blood in his veins. He sails and swims around in the same regions of the oceans where Sinbad may or may not have once sailed centuries earlier, and that is the only believable connection.

The script is fairly unimaginative, the acting uninspired, the creature effects passable, if barely, the plot will have you wondering if you could maybe make a few million dollars releasing footage of your last weekend barbecue on DVD, or maybe even VHS. Thought it may have been filmed in exotic Belize, you won't see enough real estate to distinguish it from the California coast.

Typical Asylum garbage. Will provide enough background noise to help you sleep away a lazy Sunday afternoon, if you're the type that needs that. I only rated it 2 stars because I've actually seen worse, though not by much.

First of all, I'd like to say that I enjoy the particular genre of films that the Sinbad movies generally fall into the category of. This film, however is not one of them. If you go into this expecting to see your classic Sinbad action then I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.

It's not necessarily a bad decision to attempt to convert the themes of Sinbad onto a present day setting, but it wasn't pulled off well here and I, for one, would have preferred to have seen a new rendition set in the traditional era, or at least sometime in the not-too-recent past. There are no seven adventures to be seen here anyway, that's for sure.

The main character is a descendant of Sinbad apparently - his name is John Sinbad or some such rubbish. Apart from that, this bears no real relation to any of it's name-sakes except for one scene involving a tribe of alluring female demons who attempt to enslave Sinbad and his crew, via hypnosis, which was taken from an earlier and better Sinbad movie. This made me wonder if this is some kind of remake but I soon realised that it is not. There were a few computer generated monsters to 'behold' - or try to at least - among them, a computer generated cyclops and giant octopus, both of which failed to evoke any of the the glory and wonder of the more organic effects of older films of the kind. Ray Harryhausen, for example, is still the king after all this time.

Overall, pathetic storyline, boring progression of plot, Underwhelming acting and uninspiring character performances, cheesy one-liners which don't work, sad visual effects and void of any real tension or ability to provoke any kind of emotional response at all. From me, at least.

When I first saw the title of this movie and the poster, I thought it would be a newer take on Ray Harryhausen. Boy, was *I* wrong. Set in contemporary times (read 2010), this attempted "update" falls flat in many categories. It's incredibly disjointed - you will find yourself asking "Huh? How, when or why did THAT happen?" It doesn't maintain any of the flavor of the original. There are monsters as depicted in the poster, but this film doesn't explain, dwell on, or expand on them in any manner. From the opening shots of Somali pirates (remember, this is in the year 2010 that we are talking about) you will see this Sinbad is in name only.

Still, it isn't all bad. The female lead has an incredibly ripped body which is eye catching. The hokey special effects are reminiscent of the Sci Fi Channel from about ten years ago and are fun to watch. There are a couple of really vivid moments when the film comes alive. It's when the story strays from the monsters that it falls apart.

I wouldn't pan this movie completely, it's not totally worthless. Asylum has done a better job here than on previous efforts, but they seem stuck in the "Gotta get it into 90 minutes" mold. Just think, they could have completed a fairly good movie with a bit more time in the viewing and having done away with the dumb subplots.

Maybe.

Seriously, people: If you don't have the money, don't produce movies that rely almost entirely on special effects.

I will not even comment on the quality of... well... everything. But let me just say this: If there were only $500k to spend (as one of the other comments mentioned), there ought to have been at least 500 Bucks to spend on a halfway decent script written by some English minor from undergrad school.

Cheap trash actually makes me smile every once in a while, but this here was just a pain. Really.

(Why can't I give 0 points for GODawful?)

I have seen good movies, bad movies, bad movies that become cult movies and then sadly a few like this where if I had the sense of a dead cat I would have stopped watching.

The only good thing was that the design of one of the monsters (bird type things) was quite good - everything else was BAD BAD BAD ...

No plot - well at least nothing that made sense. Characters - were as wooden and predictable as it would be possible to imagine. Special effects - on the whole plain bad. Acting - there were real tears from one of the actors - I think it was because they realised that once this turkey was released they would never work again.

I can't go on even remembering this movie (which I only finished watching ten minutes ago) as it's causing irreparable brain damage.

WATCH ANYTHING ELSE!!!