The Hills Have Thighs

The Hills Have Thighs (2010)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

A man goes hiking through the Alabama Hills where he runs into some wild women who come onto him sexually. A month passes and the man hasn't returned back to his normal life so four friends decide to go looking for him. Whenever the four aren't having sex they are looking for their missing friend and soon they run into the sex-starved ladies.

As the fun and clever title gives away, this here is basically a softcore version of THE HILLS HAVE EYES. No matter what you think of the softcore genre you've got to at least admit that this is a great title. Cult director Jim Wynorski wrote and directed this film under the name Salvadore Ross but no matter what name he's working under he has always been able to make a fun "B" picture.

Obviously, if you're not a fan of these types of softcore movies then it's probably best you don't waste your money on it but if you are a fan then you're going to know Wynorski's name and I'd say you'll get some entertainment out of this. Julie K. Smith is good and dependable as usual and there's a terrific sequence with Kylee Nash in front of an amazing fire. I'd say that a lot of people are going to agree that this here was the highlight of the film. It should go without saying but there are beautiful ladies running around naked throughout the film and that's certainly what people are going to be drawn to.

With that said, I must admit that I was really shocked at how terrific the cinematography was and there's no question that the Alabama Hills setting was perfect. The scenery in these types of movies are usually just the ladies but the various locations here are also terrific and I'm sure many people will be looking at those snow covered mountains just as much as the other mountains bouncing around.

Hey, I am no one to judge. For me, the best part of this film is the title. Unfortunately, in about 20 years (or less), the women cast in this will (undoubtedly) have serious medical problems. I am not being funny. I have dated 2 young women, both of whom had to have surgery for reductions. If they had not, they would have developed terrible headaches, curvature of the spine, and (worst of all), men never look them in their eyes; only from the neck down. As far as watching this for entertainment, count me out. If I was a teenager, it might be different. However, (as I mentioned at the start) if you like it, watch it.

This movie ended up creating quite a lot of controversy when it turned out the title was already in use by an amateur film maker who made a non-erotic movie, and his subsequent threats to sue Wynorski for this film.

I'm not sure how much extra publicity the controversy might have created for this version of The Hills Have Thighs, but I'm guessing that even with a different name it would have held up on its own very well.

Unlike a lot of recent softcore movies, where they stack the cast with hardcore girls taking a day off from penetration, they used almost entirely non-hardcore talent here which was a major breath of fresh air. The one exception, Rebecca Love, almost doesn't count as a hardcore girl as she can actually act unlike most of them and really seems to enjoy these kinds of movies.

Kylee Nash, playing the leader of the cave girls, was incredibly hot. The film leaves you with no idea if she can act more than a prehistoric grunt, but she makes up for the lack of dialogue the cave girls get with her eye popping figure. Her scene by the bonfire was not only very sexy, it bordered on actually being somewhat artistic.

Julie K. Smith was great as well, especially in her scene with Frankie Cullen. The leg warmers she wore in this scene were such sexy costuming and they really added a lot. I'm not a fan of the tattoos she's acquired, but she's still very sexy.

Brandin Rackley is attractive, and will appeal to a lot of people, but for me personally it's kind of amazing how she fades into the background when the much larger chested Julie K. Smith, Kylee Nash, and Rebecca Love are around.

One last mention must be made of Diana Terranova. She appears to be more of a "legitimate" actress, which is kind of a shame in a way, because she's gorgeous and I would love to see her do a lot more than dance around during orgy scenes.

The Hills Have Thighs is Jim Wynorski's latest late night Cinemax T&A flick and conforms pretty well to his past outings. A hiker becomes lost in the wilderness and comes across sexually insatiable mutant cave women who hold him captive for their carnal enjoyment. Two couples that are friends of his go off to try to find and save him, unaware of his true predicament.

No time is wasted getting right into the good bits, with two cave women immediately ravishing the unsuspecting hiker. If they could bottle whatever mutated the cave women to look like this, it would put every plastic surgeon in Los Angeles out of business. I have not seen breasts as impressively pumped up as Kylee Nash's since the days of Shae Marks and Pandora Peaks in Andy Sidaris's old spy softcore erotica.

All of Julie K. Smith's scenes are amazing as usual. Kylee Nash's scene by the bonfire is easily my favorite in the film and I hope to see her in more in the future. Disappointments were Glori-Anne Gilbert's scene being recycled old footage from a past film (the dreaded flashback scene) and Dianna Terranova, while attractive, not actually getting naked and involved in any of the scenes other than just dancing around. Overall, though, the film is definitely a success for the genre, and is my favorite of Wynorski's parody themed late night romps since The Breastford Wives.

Okay, I'll admit that the neither fish nor fowl genre of soft-core generally does little for me- it has neither the erotic build up of a good R-rated film nor the carnal reality of an X feature. At least some of them are funny.

While channel surfing the scenery caught my eye (not that scenery though). The Alabama Hills with snow covered Mount Whitney in the background were beautiful in HD. The production values were quite good- even some of the "normal" acting was OK.

The main point of this movie did nothing for me. I found myself fast-forwarding through the bouncing balloon scenes. I even watched to the end to check out the credits and was impressed with the huge list of crew involved. Quality production values, obviously a reasonable budget, even a workable plot- (probably better basic plot than "Tremors" filmed in the same area). It was so poorly executed that even this guy who likes to see top-heavy women gets nothing out of it.

PS- I've climbed some of those rocks. They're very rough on the skin; I feel sorry for the poor actresses!