The Hills Have Thighs

"The Hills Have Eyes" gets the Skinimax treatment in this softie spoof.

Bountifully blessed babes are preying on the men crazy enough to set foot near their desolate hillside home where 50 years ago nuclear testing left the are desolate. Some friends go after another friend who was kidnapped and forced to pleasure these insatiable wild women mutants and fall under the spell of "The Hills Have Thighs". Random boffing and crap-tacular music happen at regular intervals. Most are guaranteed to make you laugh or wince. If plasticized beauties and horrid acting are your thing than this one may be for you. But if you are allergic to gratuitous spoofing and monster life preservers than avoid like the plague.

Me and my Father decided to try a new film out for our dirty film Friday event and we loved 'The Hills Have Eyes' so decided to give this a shot.

I would like to first give you a back story on myself as a person as I feel it is important to know a bit of details on the person reviewing the film. I am a 23 year-old man who hasn't had a girlfriend for a long time and sadly due to my ex-girlfriend moving in with an Alpha male named Chad and moved to America to be with him, I have been forced to live with my Father and dirty film Friday is our way of spending quality time together.

Enough of me, onto the film...

The first thing that caught my attention was the beautiful scenery and a very authentic looking set. The dialogue was beautifully written and at times actually brought a tear to my eye (If you know what I mean). The fact that a simple film like this would grip me into the story so much within just the first 20 minutes is something that I believe the directors should be extremely proud of.

The girls were very good looking too and performed very nicely, well... I think they did I'm a virgin so I'm not 100% sure but my Father seemed to enjoy the film based on that while I took more of a backseat to the acting and plot which was top notch.

Hopefully one day I'll meet a red headed vixen like 'Mira ' played by Rebecca Love and I will get a happy ending as in this film.

Loved it, one of my personal favourites now and I would recommend it to anyone and everyone.

My rating 10/10 My Dads rating 8/10 - He didn't like the plot and thought it was too predictable.

Hey, I am no one to judge. For me, the best part of this film is the title. Unfortunately, in about 20 years (or less), the women cast in this will (undoubtedly) have serious medical problems. I am not being funny. I have dated 2 young women, both of whom had to have surgery for reductions. If they had not, they would have developed terrible headaches, curvature of the spine, and (worst of all), men never look them in their eyes; only from the neck down. As far as watching this for entertainment, count me out. If I was a teenager, it might be different. However, (as I mentioned at the start) if you like it, watch it.

I've always been fond of Julie K. Smith, but it's the visuals of being shot in the Californian desert that elevate this standard T&A pic 'The Hills Have Thighs' from director Jim Wynorski. Kylee Nash's huge boobs were a treat too I won't lie, but that doesn't change the fact that this is a strictly by the numbers experience.

When their friend goes missing hiking and the authorities can't find him, two couples Ben (Frankie Cullen) & Mary (Smith) and Mike (Mark Weiler) & Sandy (Brandin Rackley) go searching for him themselves. It means hotel sex, desert sex, dream sequence sex, flashback sex, sex with the cavewomen (Nash, Rebecca Love, Dana Bentley) who have him kept sex hostage.

There's one obvious bit of cheapness on display - they reuse Glori-Anne Gilbert's sex scene with Cullen from 'Witches of Breastwick' - but the unique location allows this to be a slight step up from the usual low energy formula and the cast look to be having fun. It's still your tame mix of boobs & fake sex coming in at a brisk 70 minutes so I can't rate it higher. Don't read too much into the spoof parody title neither.

This movie ended up creating quite a lot of controversy when it turned out the title was already in use by an amateur film maker who made a non-erotic movie, and his subsequent threats to sue Wynorski for this film.

I'm not sure how much extra publicity the controversy might have created for this version of The Hills Have Thighs, but I'm guessing that even with a different name it would have held up on its own very well.

Unlike a lot of recent softcore movies, where they stack the cast with hardcore girls taking a day off from penetration, they used almost entirely non-hardcore talent here which was a major breath of fresh air. The one exception, Rebecca Love, almost doesn't count as a hardcore girl as she can actually act unlike most of them and really seems to enjoy these kinds of movies.

Kylee Nash, playing the leader of the cave girls, was incredibly hot. The film leaves you with no idea if she can act more than a prehistoric grunt, but she makes up for the lack of dialogue the cave girls get with her eye popping figure. Her scene by the bonfire was not only very sexy, it bordered on actually being somewhat artistic.

Julie K. Smith was great as well, especially in her scene with Frankie Cullen. The leg warmers she wore in this scene were such sexy costuming and they really added a lot. I'm not a fan of the tattoos she's acquired, but she's still very sexy.

Brandin Rackley is attractive, and will appeal to a lot of people, but for me personally it's kind of amazing how she fades into the background when the much larger chested Julie K. Smith, Kylee Nash, and Rebecca Love are around.

One last mention must be made of Diana Terranova. She appears to be more of a "legitimate" actress, which is kind of a shame in a way, because she's gorgeous and I would love to see her do a lot more than dance around during orgy scenes.