Lola

LOL

The best part of texting while walking is the protective bubble it creates around you, staving off danger.

LOL! This dramedy isn't about distracted pedestrians surviving collisions with LRT, but the tribulations of the e-generation.

Lola (Miley Cyrus) is a contemporary teenager. She communicates via characters and has a super cute BF (George Finn).

But when he cheats on her, she hooks up with his friend (Douglas Booth), who is lusted after by Lola's nemesis (Ashley Greene).

Meanwhile, Lola's single-mother (Demi Moore) finds her diary and decides to cancel her class trip to Paris. All the while juggling her ex (Thomas Jane) and her younger crush (Jay Hernandez).

Though it attempts to be a comedic commentary on today's parent/child relationships, this American version of a French film is merely a vapid snapshot of this electronic epoch.

On the bright side, Miley Cyrus texting is less annoying than Miley Cyrus talking. (Red Light)

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A monotonous, dreadful film that follows the gimmicks of social networking and text messaging. I wouldn't classify this as a movie; it falls along the lines of high school trauma and the depressing pokes of a Facebook page. The acting was sub-par and the love story was the equivalent of rusty nails while it focuses on the redundant internet slang we constantly see today. The whole feeling of the film was basically like looking at a Facebook page. Very dull and asinine with the sense of delusional romance forever reminding us how little hope remains for todays youth. If this is what you call quality entertainment then I fear for the sanctity of our Media. Major waste of filming resources and should be shot into the sun for the sake of humanity.

I'm going to summarize here:

This "film" bears about as much connection with modern society as KFC represents the life of Chickens. Not only is it the most cheese filled pap ever, it's a walking cliché and the people in it, even say the word "LOL" rather than actually laughing, in one scene; one person even rolls around the floor laughing when she is told a joke by her friend, and it wasn't even funny.

The entire dialogue in this film looks as if it has actually been written on a Nokia 3310 by a 10 year old boy, who has ADHD, no offence to people who actually HAVE ADHD, but seriously, it's like they've given a child three things:

1. MDMA.

2. 90 Blank Sheets of Paper and a typewriter.

3. 2 Days to complete it.

The acting is below par and even in one scene, it is blatantly obvious that the actress has forgotten her lines, so she seems to make her line up on the spot. How on earth did Demi Moore get roped into this? Demi Moore has made some god awful movies in her time, but this will be a black hole on her CV for many years to come and I imagine she is only kicking herself to the loony bin for partaking in this absolute rubbish.

Then I have to mention the obvious fake posts on here which are condoning and praising this teeny bopper movie, which is obviously made to capitalise on fans of the girl out of this, kids who are grounded and have to use their phones as a social outlet, LOL, and teen kids who have nothing better to do with their money than go and see how the media thinks they should live their lives.

Anyone paying to watch this god awful trash should take themselves and get counselling, go and see a doctor, because whilst there are thousands and thousands of good script writers trying to earn a living, thousands of actors trying to break through; and thousands of budding directors just aching for a chance to even get 1% of this budget for their work; production companies are still lying and pulling the wool over our eyes with pap like this.

If you are fan of the girl in this film, think about it, and think about it hard!!!

If you actually like this girl, then you will NOT go and put money into the pockets of the greed ridden pigs who are actually trying to exploit YOU as well as your idol. So I'm not going to give you grief for liking this girl; like most will, but seriously think about it before you part with your money. If this film does even remotely well, the fat corporate pigs will only release more pap with her in, to try and prize YOUR hard earned money from your hands, and in turn, the big wheel of fortune will grind away on YOU and ONLY YOU!

It says something when a production company pull out of post production marketing like they did on this kids, they want to BURY it without trace, because they know how terrible this film truly is!

Fair enough, watch it on cable (it will be on there soon enough), download it from some kind of torrent site, but whatever you do, do NOT go and spend a penny of your money on this, you will regret it for years to come.

Long live the free thinkers.

LOL (2012)

* (out of 4)

Lisa Azuelos remakes her own French movie. This one here has Miley Cyrus playing a teen who seems obsessed with sex, drugs and music, which is something her single mom (Demi Moore) doesn't know about. I'm guessing that's the so-called plot to this film but the truth is that plot and this movie really don't go together. I can't comment on the original film since I haven't seen it yet but this thing here pretty bad but thankfully it's so bad that most people should be able to get a couple good laughs out of it. I think what really kills the movie is the fact that every character from the teens to their parents are just downright idiots. I mean, the Moore character is without question one of the dumbest mothers I've ever seen from any movie. Just watch the way the character pretty much can't put her foot down on anything and the scene where Cyrus talks her out of taking her phone away is just embarrassing. Even worse is a sequence later on when mommy and daughter have it out after mom reads her diary and notices all the things she's been up to. Not only the entire sequence unintentionally funny, the performances by the two actresses is just embarrassing. Cyrus really comes off bad here because she can't handle what limited range the character has. The scenes with her crying are just poorly done and I can't say I believed anything she did here. Moore isn't quite as bad but she's burdened by the horrid character. Even Gina Gershon, Ashley Greene and Thomas Jane can't do anything. Everything from the dialogue to the actual story is just really bad and there's really nothing good to mention here outside the use of a certain Rolling Stones song. What keeps LOL watchable is how bad it manages to be and I'm going to guess that the only people this thing will appeal to are those who enjoy movies that are so bad they're watchable.

Now, I wouldn't call this movie necessarily a bad one but it in fact is lacking a purpose and doesn't make a point or has a clear message in it, in any way or form.

Quite frankly, I just can't understand how adults could be involved with this movie. It's a movie about teenagers, so its set in a teenage world, with teenage rules. It's about the sort the sort of the stuff that only seems to be important when you are still at a young age and far from adulthood. Well, I say teenagers but of course all of them are being played by some 20-year old's, which is something pretty obvious and annoying about this movie as well.

And really, this entire movie seems to about a bunch of non-issues. I just don't see what the big 'conflict' is supposed to be in this movie and there is just never any sense of true drama in the movie. This is mostly what makes this movie such a pointless watch. Crazy thing about the movie is that you can watch just and only the first 5 and last 5 minutes of this movie and you won't feel like you missed anything because of the simple reason that you also haven't done so. The characters and situations are still being mostly the same at the end of the movie. Perhaps they could had still made this movie somewhat interesting by making it a coming-of-age movie but all this movie seemed to be concerned about was appealing to young teens, who perhaps will be able to identify with some of the characters and situations in this movie but I just can't even imaging them being all that entertained by this movie. There is just far too little happening for that.

It's also a movie that confuses and does some stupid things. I swear at first I thought that some of the characters were 'bad guys' but as the movie progressed it suddenly became apparent to me that they were part of the friend-group of the movie and you were even supposed to like these characters. And that's also a problem of the movie. Most of the character aren't really being sympathetic enough to ever care for or be interested enough in.

Also an odd thing to see some big name actors in a movie like this. Demi Moore, Thomas Jane, Gina Gershon, Jay Hernandez, all play some quite big parts. Perhaps they were just eager to appear in a Miley Cyrus movie, who is still being a hot young star but isn't exactly known for doing great movies.

Pointless movie, that is pointless to watch.

4/10

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