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If you are a fan of really bad movies, and I am, this is a must. I think it was conceived and written by a bunch of teen aged boys who aren't into women yet (no T and A). It has everything else that they love. It has lots of car chases in exotic locals, with big shiny American cars racing down dirt roads, lots of stuff blowing up, lots of shooting and a lot of really, really big fishies.

The dialog is what you would expect, also conceived by a bunch of little kids. The scenes along the river are just plain stupid. Why, when you know that the big fishies are able to jump for unknown distances, would anyone stand on a river bank.

It is doom from the word go...in every sense of the word.

I am 70 years old and have seen some really badly conceived plots and dialog, but this one is a keeper.

Well, folks...Syfy has done it again. Another sub-B movie churned out in the same tier as Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. I normally get a laugh out of this sort of flick; the purple prose script with cheesy delivery, the absurd plots with more holes than a screen door and the shockingly bad cg are all fodder for mocking and jeering with friends. Still, these movies can only achieve the rank of risibly bad classics if the writers, actors and directors are completely oblivious to just how terrible a film they've unleashed upon the world. Syfy originals seem to exist for the sake of being entertainingly awful, and it is that bent-on-wrecking-this-train mentality that makes this and many other movies lame.

The movie follows the same formula that plagues the made for TV nature-horror scene. Follow these steps and you too can be a Scifi writer! Take some normal animals that aren't much of a threat and make them huge/super strong/intelligent (pick any super-animal attribute. It really doesn't matter). Science creates then tries to control the bastard chimeras, but of course scientists are nerds, so they should fail. This is usually because the military/some evil corporation ruins everything with snafu after snafu. This step is important because it serves as a diatribe to meddling scientists, overconfident military leaders and corporate America. Your script now has depth and you can tote your worth as a writer that cares about the issues. Insert the big, bad protagonist. He should be able to punch and kick his way through hordes of monsters that have ripped through countless crewman number 6s and still look damn good doing it. You can also add a strong independent and flawlessly attractive girl to the script. The more independent you make her, the more substance the script has. It is important to acknowledge that women are every bit as amazing your beefcake hero and your creation will be so revolutionary that even a feminist won't scoff at it(you'll also have a slightly better chance of scoring with the lead lady). You now have the tools to start your own script. I don't want to flood the market with great writers, so you'll have to figure out the end for yourself. Use a lot of fake blood, clean up obvious plot holes with single lines like, "Yeah, well things change," and insert as many bikini-clad women as your budget will allow and I'm sure everything will be fine.

This movie works on many of the same levels, and it is sure to be one of the most critically acclaimed thrillers of this or any year. Just remember: regardless of whether a piranha is doubling in size every 2 days or 36 hours, it is growing exponentially.

Mega Piranha is on, right now on the SciFi Channel (I refuse to call that channel what its actually been renamed; that's just bloody stupid). There are piranhas as big as jumbo jets jumping out of the river and exploding on impact. Some bad-ass martial arts dude just used some mixed martial arts to kill some baby piranhas which were as big as refrigerators. Anyway, I was just talking to a buddy of mine. Years ago back in junior high, my friends and I used to come up with stupid ideas for movies to pass the time away in school. Well, one of those ideas were about giant piranhas as big as Godzilla terrorizing some city. We were kids and we knew that was frig gin' stupid. But Asylum Films, they're laughing all the way to the bank. I went hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt to get a master's degree to teach English Lit. to kids who don't even give a crap when I could have taken all those stupid ideas for movies way back in the day and made them for the SciFi Channel. Jesus! I am an idiot!

Everyone loves a bad monster movie, right? There is a great charm in the so-bad-it-is-good film, and for a while Mega Piranha delivers the goods. Alas, but then the unremitting awfulness wears you down due to endless repetition of scenes and CGI that is so bad that it can't be unintended (I hope). Add the unlikely return of a really rubbish villain (flying a helicopter that seems to be able to circumnavigate the whole world), and a truly bizarre finale that suggests that everyone just got bored and pulled the plug, and you just have ultimate tedium (well, for me, at least). Still, it is not everyday that you get to see Tiffany playing a hydro-biologist, and I'm hoping to see Britney Spears as a Navy Seal in 'Mega Shrimp' and Ke$ha as the US President in 'Monster Manatee' vs. Giant Gecko' some time soon.

This is one of the worst movies I have seen on SyFy. Their ability to make good movies decrease with every new "original movie" they make. While the location shots were great the film itself was one of the worst I have ever seen. Paul Logan was the only good actor in the movie. It was hard to see Barry Williams diminish his star quality by doing such a low quality picture. Tiffany proves she has no acting skills at all. She could not deliver lines while doing anything else. One scene she was running from danger, had to stop, deliver lines and wait for someone to give her a cue to run again. The extras were just as bad! Doesn't look like they were given any direction in what to do. One scene they go to arrest the hero and he's not there. They just stood there and looked around, no movement just stood in look. I would only recommend this film to film students wanting to know what to do to make a quality film.

I had too much fun laughing at this to vote it lower than a 5.

Piranhas are already pretty fearsome creatures. So naturally, some scientists genetically mutate them. Things go wrong; the creatures escape into a Venezuelan river, and start to "grow exponentially." So a big guy on steroids named Fitch is sent to aid Venezuelan soldiers to fight the menace. They look like Castro impersonators, and end up chasing him around, for whatever reason.

When the Sec. of State looks like a Brady and is named Grady, you know the "Asylum" movie makers are just "winking at the audience." The action-film meets sci-fi motif is played with over-the-top gusto: look for piranha jumping high into the air and slamming their victims down like a sledgehammer. I didn't know they could do that. Even mutated ones. Steroid Fitch kick-boxes an entire school of piranha senseless in a great Jackie Chan moment. The super-sized creatures crash themselves into Key West hotels. Battleships get turned into Fish Filet sandwiches. The TV news reporter doing play-by-play of a piranha attack, the bit about tail fins, Col. Valdez inexplicably showing up in Florida; hilarious.

Most of the time it makes absolutely no sense what's going on, with absurd scientific plot holes everywhere. There's no intent for this to be taken seriously; and taken at face value it's classic B movie silliness.

Alright, this movie is bad. B, A, D! Bad! I had an expectation that it would not be a super great movie, being a SyFy movie and all, but wow! This was beyond anything I had imagined or could imagine.

First of all, they kept showing the same scenes over and over and over and over and over... And those scenes were not even nice to look at. Already here the movie was starting to go downhill.

The effects in the movie were laughable at best. There weren't a single moment in the movie that were above mediocre.

As for the acting, well it was strained and hard to digest. But at least they gave it a shot! This movie is good for one thing only, and that is cheap laughs. I am going to make my friends watch it, because it cannot be put into words how bad this movie really is.

"Mega Piranha" is a movie that should be avoided if you are a movie-lover. Or if you are going to watch it, do it solely for the super cheesy effects and the lack of everything else!

I was looking to a wonderful day watching the SyFy channel. DinoCroc and other silly, stupid movies. But, this movie was the worse. Bad acting, bad writing, bad cinematography, bad special effects....bad, bad, bad. I just can't accept a leading actor that makes Arnold seem like a linguist, piranhas the size of 737s (albeit, with slightly shorter flight range), and Greg Brady as a secretary of...? Of what? I love these movies, but not this one. I can't believe in this day and age that the special effects (especially the huge fish flying and swimming out of the water) could be sooooo bad. My GF said said "if you didn't like it it, it must have been the worse". It was. It is.

A brilliantly executed story. This movie has it all: a genius script, fantastic actors, playful cinematography and stunning CGI. After watching this film, I actually wanted to become a movie producer. But I gave up after realising I could never create something as beautiful and amazing as Mega Piranha

James Cameron can rest easy ... someone has finally made a piranha movie that's even more ridiculous than his legendary directorial debut, "Piranha II: The Spawning."

The mad scientists at the Asylum, home of "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" and seemingly dozens of "mockbusters," have hit a home run with their latest masterwork, "Mega Piranha." It's got everything we have come to expect from an Asylum film -- a ridiculous plot, hilariously awful dialogue, cheap CGI special effects, and acting roles filled by has-beens from days gone by (gaze at the wonder that is Barry "Greg Brady" Williams as the US Secretary of State, and former '80s teen pop star Tiffany as a government scientist!). But then, no one goes into a movie like this expecting "Gone With the Wind." I'll go out on a limb and proclaim "Mega Piranha" to be a better film than the aforementioned "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" -- of course, that's not saying much, but at least "Mega Piranha" keeps the action flowing at a quick pace, while "MS vs. GO" got bogged down at times with too many scenes of dialogue. The story is negligible of course -- the U.S. ambassador to Venezuela mysteriously disappears during a boat excursion on the river, leading the state department to send in a lone G.I. Joe type to investigate what happened. Terrorists are suspected, but the truth is even worse - that the ambassador's boat happened into a portion of the river ruled by mutant piranhas the size of Great Danes. The fish were part of a failed experiment conducted by Tiffany and her laboratory crew, who thought they'd all been destroyed. You have to wonder why anyone would think that messing with piranha DNA till they're bulked up bigger than Mark McGwire would be a good idea in any context, but that's neither here nor there. The local military leader believes that the fish are part of an American government plot to take over his country, so he orders an air strike on the natural dam that keeps the piranha contained to one part of the river. Predictably, all fishy hell breaks loose from there. Not only are these piranha nasty, but they grow "exponentially," meaning by the time they reach civilization they're the size of Winnebagos and are jumping out of the water, crashing into buildings, swallowing people in one gulp, and causing mass mayhem as they head for the open water of the ocean. Will G.I. Joe and Tiffany succeed in stopping the fishy menace before they reach American waters? I will leave it to you to watch for yourself and find out. In case I haven't made myself perfectly clear, "Mega Piranha" was a 24 Karat hoot. In addition to the usual gallery of "killer creature movie clichés" present throughout the film, we get the added bonus of an international intrigue subplot and the action movie clichés' that go along with them. I got a kick out of the endless scene changes that were accompanied by a "Swoooooosh!" or "BAM!" sound effect, and the occasional split-screen trick ala "24." Now that I think about it, G.I. Joe Guy plays his role as sort of a low-rent Jack Bauer, monotone voice and all. You know this guy's a bad ass because he only needs his K-Bar commando knife, or a series of well placed kung-fu kicks, to defend himself against the killer sushi. Now I guess there's nothing to do but sit back and wait for the inevitable "Mega Piranha Vs. Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" crossover film that Asylum is probably already writing as I speak. Can the B-film world handle the acting chops of Tiffany AND Debbie Gibson in the same movie?? Either way, I'm betting my money on the piranhas.

Where do i start, this movie is not in the same class as Piranha which is a cult classic. Mega piranha is such an amateurish production and direction, each seen lasts a few seconds with a bang here a flash there just like the rubbish George Lucas dished up more recently. Everything is kinda explained to camera as if the viewer doesn't understand the plot. Our hero Fitch can't speak the local lingo so shouts at the locals and they fully understand and speak back in spanish to him. This movie could be a drinking game as such.

1. Camera Flash = Take a shot 2. Caption = Take a Shot 3. Un-nessacary Caption = Take a shot.

4. Stock footage = Take a shot 5. Actors waiting for their que's to say their lines

You will be blind drunk in under 15 minutes.

Devouring everything in its path with ruthless efficiency, wiggling a bloated swollen tail to propel itself from one disaster scene to the next, can anything stop the menace of the Fat Chick Who Ate Tiffany? We could consider the other merits of the movie, but it has none. None at all. It's a SyFy quota quickie, with the usual collection of embarrassingly awful CGI, an utterly nonsensical script made from scraps of coffee stained paper found in community film college trash cans, and a cast harvested from the rejects of daytime soap extra auditions.

So instead let's just cut to the chase and talk about the Name in this disaster of a disaster movie: Tiffany.

God damn, SyFy has made some bizarre choices in female leads. The criteria is simple enough: take some washed up has-been like Traci Lords or a desperate wannabe like Felicia Day who will work for cab fare and catering, shove them in front of a camcorder and film whatever they feel like shrieking. But at least with the like of Lords or Day, you probably kinda woulda, maybe. But Tiffany looks like she passed on the cab fare and just ate the catering. And everyone else's. And the caterers.

Granted, you can't complain about the quantity of T&A on screen, but the quality leaves a lot to be desired. She's about 2 supersized lunches away from being comedy fatso material, only without the laughs.

To be fair, if you're into chubby chasing, Tiffany has quite a soft milfy look to her pudgy face, and if SyFy had squeezed her into a corset and filmed her carefully, they might have made something watchable. But making her wobble and waddle from one shoddy location to the next must surely count as cruelty to the disadvantaged.

Totally unashamed of its own cheese factor! Absolutely the only competent aspect of this movie is the pacing, which is super fast. You only have a second or two to share a wink with the producers, then it's on to some other absurdity.

The fish are the main attraction (of course), but there's plenty else to enjoy. All the actors really camp it up. You'll probably find yourself thinking, "Hey, I would gladly have done Tiffany when she was 18, but now she looks like my Mom and it would be really weird...." As far as non-human characters, the super-fish are GREAT! I'm surprised that the scriptwriters didn't have them start building nuclear weapons or making prank phone calls.

Harmless fun. What's best, it cost virtually nothing to make, leaving more money for developing movies that are actually good. Recommended for bad movie lovers everywhere.

Now I do love movies and always have and most likely always will. I have seen a number of notoriously bad sy-fy movies, but Mega Piranha takes the cake. Now I will give some credit, if you see it in the right state of mind, you might revel in its awfulness.

What makes Mega Piranha so awful especially is the production values. The scenery and locations are striking enough but the sloppy editing and dull lighting spoils it, and the piranhas are as menacing as rubber fish toys(very over-sized ones at that) and looking at them you would actually mistake them for those.

The story is incredibly predictable,ridiculous, unexciting and feels cobbled together. There is also a lack of atmosphere, for a movie of the genre, it has next to no suspense, thrills or scares no matter how hard it tries. Any suspenseful moments are clumsily handled, and the dialogue is excruciatingly awful, being laughable and melodramatic almost as if little kids were writing for some kind of script-writing assessment. If that was the case, and if I were a teacher, I would give them an F for effort.

The acting is dreadful, it never rises above bad sit-com-ish quality and a lot of it feels strained. Barry Williams tries but fails, Paul Logan's acting feels superficial and phoned in and the less said about Tiffany the better.

Speaking of the direction, it is so soulless you can hardly tell if there was a director on board at all. And the resolution is really daft and hard to take seriously. The characters are shallow and artificially written.

Overall, terrible but maybe worth the watch for the novelty value. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Well what can I say other than The Asylum strikes again. It's the usual script – another Hollywood blockbuster is accompanied by yet another Asylum mockbuster. In this instance the big movie being ripped off for all that its worth is Piranha 3D, which in itself is a remake of an old 70's film. Ah modern cinema. Personally I have a lot more time for The Asylum's biscuit-taking cash-ins than the big-budget remakes they ape. At least these guys are a small independent company surviving by 'innovative' means, whereas the big studios lazily churn out countless remake/re-imagining/re-boots. The Asylum are simply following the longstanding grand tradition of ripping off the latest Hollywood smash hit, albeit in an admittedly memorably moronic way. In their latest offering – Mega Piranha – they seem to almost be cashing in on one of their own movies, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Not only do we once again have a Mega monster but hilariously specifically we also have a late 80's teen-pop singer as a biologist in one of the lead roles. In the former film it was Debbie Gibson, here it's Tiffany. Interestingly the latter makes Gibson seem like Faye Dunaway, such is her acting ability. All Tiffany seems to do in this movie is run from scene to scene spouting out exposition dialogue. Although in fairness she looks Shakespearean compared to her male co-star Paul Logan, I last saw him in the action boob-fest Return To Savage Beach, and it's only fair to say that his acting ability has improved approximately 0% in the intervening 12 years.

The story is the usual mix of nonsense that anyone who has seen Sci-Fi Channel movies would come to expect, i.e. some creatures become large and dangerous due to the meddling of science and wreak havoc, while a group of good guys and bad guys battle it out in the foreground. And that in a nutshell is what this movie is about. Make no mistake though, Mega Piranha is a much better film than Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. In the latter film you only really needed to see the trailer to see all of the best bits in the movie, the rest being padded out with tedious naval scenes, but this film is ram-packed with pure nonsense from the get-go and basically doesn't stop until the end. It's full of abysmal CGI effects that are almost heroically terrible and, generally speaking, the film is monumentally stupid.

I'm not sure how far The Asylum can take this mega-monster-starring-late-80's-pop-princess cycle of movies but I for one hope that one day they make Mega Ferret vs. Giant Badger starring Martika as a…..yep you guessed it, biologist.

Tagline: "They were created to save mankind. Something went wrong." You can say that again.

SyFy Channel continues to plumb new depths in sci-fi programming with this entry from "auteur" Eric Forsberg. Mega Piranha stands out as the consummate example of low quality, mindless fodder cranked out for the indiscriminating pre-teen viewer. Sadly, a generation of impressionable kids are being trained to accept this level of crap as acceptable entertainment.

The screenplay is a decadent mess. With its tale of lab-created monster fishes, the story traces its lineage back to the original Frankenstein story, the seminal work of science fiction. For more than a century, the sci-fi genre has served up some of the most daring and provocative explorations of morality as it pertains to science and technology. Unfortunately, any attempt at such intelligent or provocative story-telling has been jettisoned in this hack effort.

The characters are muddled and clichéd, and unlike the original Frankenstein (and Alien, and other classic sci-fi works) this film has no moral compass whatsoever. Token female Tiffany (someone's idea of a milf, I suppose) plays a scientist who helps create a monster form of piranha, although she later describes herself as a "greenpeacer" (when she advocates for a super nuclear strike on her evil creation.) The writer apparently has no clue about eco-politics and simply pulled his characterizations out of thin air (to be polite) without a minute's research (or even a dollop of common sense.) This is perhaps the laziest writing ever perpetrated on sci-fi fans, and one of the stupidest scripts.

The US military figures are smart and idealistic do-gooders, while their foreign counterparts are of course blundering idiots. While the South Americans' stupidity is portrayed as evil, the team of North American scientists responsible for the mess are transferred into heroes without the slightest hint of a character turn or transition. They simply realized after the fact that creating monstrous piranhas with accelerated mutating and reproductive capabilities might not have been the best way to "save the world." Wow. Well, clearly they weren't rocket scientists.

With their poorly matched lighting, the efx are the typical unconvincing low grade efx churned out for Syfy's bargain basement productions, where quantity bests quality every time. Almost every movie on the channel features efx that looks like they were rushed out by animation interns working for lunch money. You'd think someone in charge might eventually get the idea to re-use and further develop their existing wireframe animations rather than starting from scratch with every production. By pooling their already developed resources, the companies whipping up the endless slew of ogres and monster fishes might eventually come up with a convincing effect.

This one is for strictly for kids who are too young to watch real sci-fi movies. Although god only knows how it might warp their perception of the world we actually live on.