The Perfect House

Well, the acting is definitely terrible. I think the wife and the mayor are the worst actors I've ever watched.

The fact that when the guy shows up as a ghost with sunken in eyes and a purple/pale face, the wife doesn't even suspect there is something weird.

Things happen and then they never talk about it or think anything is weird. For example the ghost husband chases the wife around with a knife until she hides in the bathroom. When the real husband arrives she unlocks the door and walks around willingly with him with no reservations about him just trying to stab her.

I can't believe I wasted 90 minutes on this thing.

Most directors have a goal in mind when they make their movie, and if the movie does what it should in terms of entertainment, then we call that movie a success.

Unfortunately for this film, the director makes the mistake of trying to disturb you and terrify you with graphic scenes of torture and gore.

Ho hum. It's been done before, and many times even better than this.

Disturbing the viewer is a good goal in a horror flick. But extended scenes about torture and gore bore-me-half-to-death. When I can flip forward through entire scenes and be like, "Ok, so long story short, she dies this way, he dies that way, killer does this, killer does that.." and get the entire story without actually needing to watch it, then we have a very shallow idea on the screen indeed. I can literally skip entire scenes and miss nothing, and the rest of the movie still makes perfect sense. In other words, there is no point to this movie except extended scenes of suffering and gore. You may skip them or watch them at your discretion, but why bother watching them when they really add nothing? It's really just more gratuitous than effective, and if you are the sort of person who actually enjoys watching it then I suggest you get your head checked.

I had high hopes for this film since it was given to me by a friend and recommended as a must watch, but the video quality, acting and poor directing of this film was to much for me to handle. Now granted I did not watch till the end but after 40 min of mind numbing torture I had to turn this film off.

In the age of digital cinema one would expect the use of a high quality camera to shoot, but the grainy unfocused shots lead me to believe this was shot on a lower level camera and not one befitting a feature film. Now I am not sure who is responsible for the directing but by the fact that Co-Director Randy Kent is not attached to the 2nd attempt at a franchise I would guess it was the other director.

I would say pass on this film as well as the unwise attempt at a 2nd in the series which looks like as of this review is currently in production. However if you believe that "The Room" is the greatest movie ever shot then this is in fact a must see for you.

The Perfect House is a 2013 horror anthology film directed by Kris Hulbert (First Timers) & Randy Kent (Ten Cent Hitman, Life, Death and Mini-Golf, Life of Lemon, & Shadow of the Monarch). Newlyweds, Mike (played by: William A. Robertson from The Rising & Black Marigolds) & Marisol (played by: Andrea Vahl from First Timers & Criminal Intention) take a tour of their dream house. The frisky Real Estate Agent (played by: Monique Parent from Vicious Kiss, Mirror, Mirror III, James Dean: Race with Destiny, & Jurassic City) is willing to do anything to sell this house. They find out that their perfect house has a brutal & unsettling past.

The history of this house of horrors is revealed during three different generations of cursed families that suffered through this hell in this unlucky environment. "The Storm" is the story of a dysfunctional family (Kris Smith from Lady Krampus & My Friend Dahmer, Timothy Dugan from FrightWorld & Prisoners of the Dead, Michael Wagner, & Alex Victoria) trying to survive deadly weather outside in their basement for shelter. Unfortunately, the storm is the least of this families worries when it comes to destruction. Hidden secrets & verbal abuse haunt this unit. Sometimes kids can only take so much from their parents.

"Chic-Ken" is a tale of the unknown serial killer & real life monster John Doesy (played by: Jonathan Tiersten from Sleepaway Camp, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Blood Reservoir, & Terror Tales). He can't control his crazy urges as his body count starts to grow. The evil that exists but no one recognizes him for what he really is. One victim (played by: Holly Greene from The Cutting Room) is lasting longer than the others. She's his "muse" & only audience to his unforgettable acts. Can she escape this madness or is she starting to enjoy it too much?

"Dinner Guests" is the final demented warning of this bad location. Mom (played by: Felissa Rose from Sleepaway Camp, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Victor Crowely, Death House, Silent Night, Zombie Night, & Dahmer vs. Gacy) & Dad (played by: John Philbin from The Return of the Living Dead, Children of the Corn, Point Break, & Tombstone) with their kids just made the wrong choice. Never trust a neighbor, always return their garden tools, & eat at home. Sometimes that normal looking guy (played by: Dustin Stevens from R. S. V. P., Keepers of the Light, & Pastor Damien) next door isn't exactly all there. A routine situation such as a meal can turn into a living nightmare. What happens when that mask of sanity slips off & it can end up dangerous when real dark desires are shown behind closed doors.

I am a big fan of horror anthologies & The Perfect House didn't disappoint. The anthology film is a great opportunity to mix sub genres into one production. You get a little bit of everything in this including survival, torture, revenge & the evil house that changes everyone in it's environment. I appreciated that each segment had a different dark angle to provide for it's overall presentation. "Chic-Ken" & "Dinner Guests" were tied for my favorites from this movie. It was good to see a mini reunion for Sleepaway Camp & Return to Sleepaway Camp co-stars despite being in separate stories. Both Felissa Rose & Jonathan Tiersten gave their best performances in The Perfect House. This is a very mean spirited movie, it's full of unlikable characters that you don't care what happens to them. Which is good considering how gruesome & insane this is. Fans of hardcore gore & nasty special effects will be very pleased by The Perfect House!!!!

This an anthology horror film about a sexy female realtor (Monique Parent, who appeared in countless softcore porn films in the 90's) showing a young couple house where all kinds of horrible things have happened. It's basically the same plot as Hammer's "The House that Dripped Blood" (and the John Ritter TV movie "Terror Tract"). The first story is the best. It's about a very messed-up family--the mother is mentally ill and off her meds, the father may be sleeping with the daughter, and the son has become murderously resentful. It all blows up when they're forced to seek shelter down in the basement during a storm (with a whole lot of knives). I've noticed that when they treat the subject of incest in movies, they're often so circumspect about it that they ironically don't make it nearly as ugly as it would be in real life. It also may be a little hypocritical here because they prominently display this alleged teen incest victim in her underwear (although I seriously doubt the actress is really young a teen). On the other hand, I did appreciate that the subject is treated with some ambiguity and subtlety because NOTHING ELSE in this movie is.

I hate to describe the last two stories as sheer "torture porn" because I really don't like that term. Most people watch horror and porn for completely different reason. Still, the second story is pretty much just unrelenting sadism about a serial killer who tortures and murders victims of both sexes in his basement and has kept one woman alive to periodically sexually assault, but mostly watch him kill the others. This is hard to take very seriously because the acting isn't very believable and there's zero character development, but it did make me question why I was watching this in the first place. When torture goes on long enough, it isn't really "horror" anymore; the term "porn" is not really accurate because only a very disturbed person is going to get turned on by this, but there is something unpleasant and definitely not very fun about it.

The third story, unfortunately, is more of the same except the victims are a whole family (with yet another teenage girl stripped to her underwear) being victimized by their crazy older neighbor. This segment has the only "name" actor in Felissa Rose, who played the transgendered killer in "Sleepaway Camp". I think anybody with a family will find this really hard to watch, and the ending is definitely harder to take than the second. But there is SOME black humor here because the neighbor is set off when the father forgets to return his weed-whacker! Still, it's less funny when he sets on the teen daughter for being scantily clad and promiscuous. I don't know what he has against the younger children. The movie shatters some cinematic taboos here, but it really does it just to do it.

Overall though, I wouldn't describe this movie as offensive, and it certainly does succeed at being pretty grueling. But it is also pretty puerile, definitely pointless (any point it has usually ends up shoved in someone's eye), and just not a lot of fun.