I Am Here... Now

Yes, it's a challenge just to sit through this crazy thing, and the thoughts it provokes are, What the hell? Why are there doll heads in the desert? Did that dolphin just poop? Do all the women in Las Vegas wear those spaghetti strap blouses with the two top buttons open to show their chests? Couldn't they get any actors for this? Why do they use the same scream over and over? What's with the monster mask? Why, why why am I watching this? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Writer, Producer and Director Neil Breen stars as a space Jesus who comes to Earth in a glass paperweight to check up on his failed experiment - humanity. The corrupt politicians and lying lawyers play out their efforts to hamper the development of sustainable energy systems in halting stilted monologues. Economic conditions force people into crime, dismemberment and depravity, and the space Jesus makes the bad guys bleed from their eyes for menacing a cancer patient in a wheelchair. I wouldn't be fool enough to compare this unique creation with anything else - it's created a whole new reality for itself. It's like a metaphor - FOR LIFE. I only hope we are ready when Neil Breen's glass paperweight returns once more to Earth.

This man should be arrested. Apparently it is too short to submit. So he should be arrested and sentenced to at least 10 years in prison.

I haven't finish watching it, because I mean, who actually could? I gave it my best, but it's just...A lot of cringe. I bet even Neil throughout the first 20 minutes of previewing his final cut probably left and never finished watching it. Its just a literal waste of time. I like to watch low budget movies, but this feels like it was bad not on purpose and also on purpose...I feel like Neil genuinely believes that this is a real and serious movie, but hes not 100% sure. And that's a vibe I dont like, it's actually a bit terrifying and might be a sign of something being wrong with him. It feels like he hired some female actors just to paint a picture of him being able to get the ladies. Its something like a Steven Seagull vibe, but only worse and with less budget. I think this man might be delusional in real life as well, cos obviously he kept making similar movies afterwards with the same general message. And that is, that he a is a selfish, self-centered ego-maniac. Our art should represent who we are, and if it's not satire, which this one just isnt, then...What more do I need to say?

Not to be a complete grammar snob, but I hope Neil Breen knows an ellipsis is three dots, not four.

So.... (Three dots) have you ever had a dream so awesome you felt like you should write it down and make a movie? Then, you tell a friend about it and they tell you it is a crap story? Well, I think Neil Breen had that dream but never let anyone scan over the story before making into a movie.

He DID improve upon his movie-making skills since Double Down. This film relied far less on royalty-free footage and music and actually seemed to include scenes filmed directly for the movie, not for a 3-2-1 Contact segment from 1981 as In his prior film.

On the other hand, my "compliment" is akin to saying that a kid's 4th grade art project is better than their 3rd grade art project. How someone can be so egotistical to write, star in, direct, produce, and even CATER their own movie is beyond my self-loathing comprehension. I, as a Midwestern middle class woman have the same access to equipment, money, software, and acting talent as Mr. Breen. Yet, I choose not to make a movie showcasing my mediocre talent. However, does that make me smart OR does that make Neil Breen brave. Only the viewer can decide...

Have you ever seen a movie and been like, This is a load of garbage. Well that is the same with I Am Here... Now. It is shot terribly the plot is convoluted and not well planned. But it has to be seen to be believed and believe it or not this is a film that can make you laugh, I highly recommend it and watch it with a friend, it makes the viewing experience way more fun!