I Am Here... Now

Have you ever seen a movie and been like, This is a load of garbage. Well that is the same with I Am Here... Now. It is shot terribly the plot is convoluted and not well planned. But it has to be seen to be believed and believe it or not this is a film that can make you laugh, I highly recommend it and watch it with a friend, it makes the viewing experience way more fun!

This film was Neil Breen's little joke at the expense of those who didn't "get" Double Down (2005), ie that the latter was a descent-into-madness tale told from the perspective of a character who was clearly delusional at the outset. So he portrays a literal deity here and expounds everything to us.

I haven't finish watching it, because I mean, who actually could? I gave it my best, but it's just...A lot of cringe. I bet even Neil throughout the first 20 minutes of previewing his final cut probably left and never finished watching it. Its just a literal waste of time. I like to watch low budget movies, but this feels like it was bad not on purpose and also on purpose...I feel like Neil genuinely believes that this is a real and serious movie, but hes not 100% sure. And that's a vibe I dont like, it's actually a bit terrifying and might be a sign of something being wrong with him. It feels like he hired some female actors just to paint a picture of him being able to get the ladies. Its something like a Steven Seagull vibe, but only worse and with less budget. I think this man might be delusional in real life as well, cos obviously he kept making similar movies afterwards with the same general message. And that is, that he a is a selfish, self-centered ego-maniac. Our art should represent who we are, and if it's not satire, which this one just isnt, then...What more do I need to say?

This may sound hyperbolic, but I firmly believe that so-bad-it's-good may be the most difficult film style to pull off. There's a limited pool of movies that even classify for the genre, and when they happen, it seems almost by fluke. You could never make another Troll 2 or Room no matter how hard you tried. The fact that Neil Breen has been able to amass such a vast body of work without gaining any sense of self awareness is a small miracle.

Not all poorly made movies are this fun to watch either. It's just loaded with so many details that offer laugh potential in every scene. Some awful acting here, terrible dollar store props there, ridiculous and self indulgent plot developments everywhere. You should make yourself watch one of these every so often to fully appreciate just how hard film making actually is, and how much even the most mediocre, straight to Netflix garbage is actually getting right. When you see something as simple as sound editing getting screwed up, you realize just how much you've come to take for granted.

So far I'm three deep into the Breen filmography. This movie sort of pales in comparison to the undisputed masterpiece, Fateful Findings, but has a more satisfyingly coherent plot than Double Down. All three have their merits though, and I wouldn't recommend skipping any of them.

I Am Here... Now is greatest movie since Neil Breen's last greatest achievement, Double Down. Seriously though, those movies are objectively bad, but they transcend their badness so much you have genuinely enjoyment during watching. Definitely watch this movie with friends and alcohol.

Movie itself is very fascinating psychic study of Neil Breen himself. His obvious God complex joined with very black-and-white looking at the world through the lenses of ideology - in every scene you have somebody obviously good or obviously bad, and good people are in exposition as environmental activists, and evil people are corrupted government officials (which they state themselves) who are blocking clean energy just to get more money. All of this is joined together with two women protagonists, from which one develops romantic and erotic interest with Neil Breen, without exchanging one word with him.

Neil Breen is creating a self-insert-Mary-Sue-protagonist fanfic, but he came much further than posting his work of art in form of text into the internet. He created series of developed movies with almost non-existent budget. It's really something. If you are into so-bad-it's-good cinema, you should give him a try.