Meteor Apocalypse

Strange how there are so many really bad disaster movies around. "Meteor Apocalypse" ranks right up there with the bad ones.

Initially, I had no expectations to the movie, and rightly so, otherwise I would be sorely disappointed.

The story of this movie is ridiculous and often incoherent. There are so many things and scenes that does not make sense and just makes go "alrighty then..." I am sure the director meant well enough with his movie, but it just didn't come together as a greater unity. "Meteor Apocalypse" was doomed right from the very first minute, already there it was incoherent and downright stupid.

The CGI effects in "Meteor Apocalypse" are bad, though not the worst I have seen, so that got to count for some, at least.

Some might find it enjoyable if you got nothing better to do, and just want some mindless way to pass an hour and a half. Expect nothing from this movie, and disable your brain if you are going to watch this movie.

The plus in this movie is that not all of the acting is all that crappy.

Sad that so many disaster movies are well-intended, but fail to deliver.

Streaking through space at immense speed, extra-terrestrial rocks seem to have it in for famous landmarks. First they head to Nevada to attack Vegas and nearby Lake Mead. Other famous sites all over the world soon get smashed as well. In between, meteorites zero in on cars and zap them just for fun.

The cast were fine; it's just that this disaster movie's writer seems to think that meteors target objects on the ground like birds of prey would do. Visually interesting, but about as likely as four poker players all being dealt royal flushes on the same hand in an honest game. The meteors shower down after (insert routine plot device here), and it makes the water icky, so carry lots of bottles water. It makes you get sick, especially when you're running around in the desert. Oh, what in blazes was up with the dune buggy chase? It looked like one of those old go-cart racetrack joints you go to when you're 12 years old. Also, it made no sense at all.

Not to be taken seriously, but entertaining in its silly exaggerations. Be advised to remove your cranium and store it in bottled water while watching.

This film is terrible in so many ways. Poorly acted, horrible direction, a plot line where the characters do ridiculous things.

But all that has been covered in other reviews here. What mystifies me is that this was released by a company called "Faith Films", with the DVD cover quoting Revelations, talking about a biblical prophecy and the End Times. None of that is mentioned in the film! There is one brief mention of going to church early in the movie, and later there is a pastor that helps some people. Those are not strong plot points, not highlighted or emphasized in any way. So what does "faith" have to do with this silly disaster movie? Nothing.

I tried to go to the Faith Films web site, and my anti-virus software blocked it, saying it may contain scam material. That could be a false blockage, but it kind of fits, considering the film really has nothing to do with Christianity, in spite of the DVD cover indicating otherwise. I guess that is a scam, too.

Anyway, the film is only worth watching if you want to mock how bad it is. For example, when the main character ends up in the desert for no particular reason. What?

This film is so bad I had to watch it all the way through, the effects, I have avoided the word special on purpose, are hilarious, there will never be enough hours in the day to describe how bad this film is. The leading lady idea of acting was to pant more when she was out of breadth. Loosing a few pounds of her hips would not have done any damage. As for the leading man, he would be wise to seek work as a stunt double for Daniel Craig. The cheapness of the sets are beyond belief, most of the central part of the film appear to have been shot over a weekend on a disused factory lot. The bit at the end when the hero is looking for his family and the mountain off screen is "attacked" by the meteors is really funny I won't mention the ending but it's so bad it's good and what happened to his traveling companion. Priceless.

I have seen worse movies of this genre aired on the SyFy channel. In all honesty though, that's saying very little. Meteor Apocalypse was really quite a messy movie. If there was a redeeming quality, it was the surprisingly good and believable performance of Joe Lando. Sadly for this movie, the redeeming values end there. The rest of the acting ranges from bad to poor even from those who visibly try, and they are not helped by clichéd characters, dreadful writing and a contrived story full of scenes that don't ring true, and also naff special effects, scrappy photography and plodding direction and pacing. So all in all, one good asset isn't enough to salvage a bunch of well-below average ones. 2/10 Bethany Cox