Sete Cemitérios

When it comes to a Trejo movie, one always knows that it can go either way, can be a great treat like Desperado or Bad Ass, or it can be some terrible , basically unwatchable garbage.

Seven Cemeteries is somewhere between the two, but closer to the latter. The few raving reviews out there are clearly fake, calling this magnificent and wonderful is ridiculous.

It is still watchable, if only barely. It's incredibly amateurish, as if a bunch of high school kids banded together with a phone as a camera and grabbed a few random guys from the local diner to goof around and call it a movie. There is hardly any story, the acting is basically non existent, dialogues and the script in general are extremely simplistic. The pacing is totally off, at least half of the very short runtime is spent with a slow build, with very little payoff in the end. Let's not even mention the "special effects"... Still, it has a little bit of charm, a few small chuckles. All I can say is that it's not entirely terrible.

First off I loved it I don't care what others say. This movie has it all I really hope Danny does another one for us with the hand. Also I think they should release this in the theaters as it might get a bigger fan base then they think. This is going down as a cult classic for sure and I know it will get a bigger following the longer it's out. This will be one of the movies I show people on movie night it really touched on so many different levels and is the first movie that really made me cry which is completely strange but the humor really is on point as well. I loved how at times when you think this movie can't get crazier it surprises you. I gave it a 10/10 everyone was fantastic in this movie and not at one point did I think I need to turn this off 😂

Seven Cemeteries is a really fun shoot 'em up flick with a hispanic theme. If you're serious about film, don't bother. This isn't for you. If you like silly, fun, action movies that don't take themselves seriously then this is right up your alley. This is a movie to enjoy with friends and chill out.

Danny Trejo pretty much plays Danny Trejo. Just got out of jail. Comes across a woman in distress and reluctantly comes to her aid. His new (old) posse are a hoot. I won't say much more because I don't want to spoil anything. The blood and gore might be a bit much for people who don't see that stuff very often, but we all thought that it added humor (intentionally).

It was much better than I expected. .

I love Danny Trejo. Everything he makes is great. And that at the age of 80. Respect.

The movie you have to take it with a korreltje zout. Then you can enjoy it. If you look it with a critical eye you rate it with a 4. But come on, it's Danny Trejo, then it's sowieso een voldoende.

I love the humor and the special effects. So i hope there will be a deel 2 in the toekomst.

But you never know. I like the character of Miguel, how he managed to survive with only a hand. That's the humor i like. Efren Ramirez is a real talent and he will schop het ver.

So, i look out for the next movie of our hero, Danny Trejo!

Cheap Mexican modern western that makes little sense, but it's kind of fun. Imagine Danny Trejo coming out of prison, where he spent 28 years with 5 minutes off for good behavior, in order to be the hero a Mexican woman needs to save her farm from the local gang barons and corrupt cops. And he does it with a bunch of ineffectual undead former associates. At 80. How is that not fun?

If you want actual action, special effects that are more expensive than 15$, a meaningful story or acting of any sort, this is not the film for you. But if you want to see a very low budget Mexican The Magnificent Seven with a few lines that make you chuckle, you may enjoy this.