Sky Monster

This movie is supposed to take place in Miami, but as someone who lives here, nothing about it feels authentic-nothing looks like Miami. Plus, Florida is so close to the islands that a 6-hour trip makes no sense. The writing feels awkward and forced, and for a group of "wild" 21-year-old girls, they all look older and worn out. Thirty minutes in, and I'm already rooting for the monster to end it so the movie is over.

Why do these films always rely on the same clichés: sex and monsters? It seems like writers and directors aren't interested in originality anymore. Similar movies from the '80s had more creativity. This one is just boring. Sex doesn't sell if there's no substance.

A father arranges a charter flight for four friends to help his daughter celebrate what must be her tenth annual 21st birthday. The charter is crewed by a pilot and horny flight attendant. The plane takes off, has a sky monster encounter, and eventually the movie ends. The bulk of the movie takes place in one room decorated to resemble an airplane cabin.

The five woman board the plane in full horror movie party mode. They attempt to seduce the flight attendant, take random drugs, and dress up in bikinis because this is a horror movie and that's what people do in horror movies.

The festivities take a turn for the worse when the plane is sucked into the Bermuda Triangle, enveloped in a thunderstorm, and used as a combination surfboard and buffet by a tentacled monster. It's all downhill (pun intended) when the only pilot onboard involuntarily exits the plane intact through a half-inch hole in the ceiling. The birthday girl assumes the controls and... no spoilers here.

No one thing stands out as worse than another: this movie is consistently uniformly bad in every regard. That's rare because usually someone involved in even the worst productions has a modicum of talent or ability. Not so here. While no worse than anything else, perhaps most memorable aspect of the movie is the unique "nasal cam". Virtually every scene is shot from below, as if the camera operator was too wasted to stand or was a small dog with a GoPro glued to its head. Particularly disturbing were the extreme closeups that consumed fifty percent of the runtime, suggesting this was originally intended as an ENT medical school training film.

As with every other aspect of this film, the less said about the acting the better. Though in fairness the pilot's laughably inappropriate suggestive eye-wags were good for a chuckle. The special effects were Asylum Films grade; nothing more needs to be said. The script may have been written by AI trained exclusively on one star horror movies.

Three stars because I watched it to the end.

Celebrating her twenty-first birthday, a woman and her friends take a ride on a plane charter to a private island to begin the festivities, but when the plane gets stuck in a strange magnetic current become aware that a massive creature is stalking the plane forcing them to try to get away alive.

This was a massively fun and enjoyable effort with a lot to enjoy. One of the finest aspects to be had with this one is the rather enjoyable setup providing a far more chilling scenario than expected. With the main setup involving the plane trip taking place as a convenient way to get them to the island while allowing them an opportunity to celebrate a big birthday party along the way, this serves to nicely get everyone in the air to later be attacked while also giving off the kind of minuscule attempts at getting to know the group that they're far more likable than expected for this type of film. With this setup in play, there's a fun time featured here so that when it starts to turn into something far more overtly ominous there's a great starting point present. That serves the film immensely well when the plane enters the storm and is continually unsure of something out in the darkness. The paranoia that is established by constantly acting out as if it's just simply turbulence enacted out against the plane that brings brief bouts of darkness and constant shaking allows for a creepy enough starting point before it finally brings out the real source of the incidents. The presence of the creature is built up incredibly well, with the brief glimpses in the storm clouds or a blurry phonograph being the main idea that something's there until it finally appears towards the midway point to attack the plane. This is a fantastic idea that builds off a genuinely creepy and unnerving idea which is given a lot to like with how the series of encounters afterward are based on trying to worm its way into the plane to get at them which showcases several somewhat suspenseful confrontations. There's quite a lot to like here which all provide plenty of positive points. There are several slight drawbacks on display here. One of the main issues here is the seemingly unrealistic approach taken here where it continually brings about questionable tactics to keep itself moving. The whole time the creature can get inside the plane as no one thinks to shut the door that it's using to enter inside, while its strong enough to destroy a regular passenger plane in one go yet can't take out a small private passenger jet. This runs rampant throughout here with this type of unrealistic and unnatural type of behavior trying to make sense of what's going on. Even without that being a factor, this one generates such little information on the titular creature to explain where it came from, how it operates, or what it's doing that there's nothing to go on here which is a bit disappointing overall bringing this one down.

Rated Unrated/ Graphic Language and Violence.

This is a very low budget film that you certainly do not want to expend any energy thinking about. The monster is interesting, although what are likely practical effects in scenes are done very poorly. Cindy is celebrating her 21st birthday, and her father has gotten her and some friends, who are all 22, a trip to a resort where they can spend three days on the beaches before returning. As they get on the plane, they are told to relax, as what could go wrong? And it seems clear weather ahead, until they get into clouds and storms, that the pilot cannot get out from. It is in the Bermuda Triangle. Their plane gets rocked, but it can't be turbulence, as turbulence does not have tentacles. On the plane is a hunk of a flight attendant who gets lots of attention from the passengers, and he has pills that are a combination of Valium and mushrooms. On take off, the pilot talks to the tower and passengers, all without a headset or microphone. And being in a harness also seems optional at times. The movie is low quality, silly at times, but still interesting enough to want to see how it will end.

Yikes! Someone had funny money from the recent economy. They also wanted to make a movie with all their friends and family. Good on 'em. Waste your $$ however you want. Just don't expect anyone to like it, other than those mentioned earlier. There is no good acting, there is no good sound, there is no good plot. Add in the goofy 70's presentation of the jet in the storm...really bad! I really wanted it to be a horrible movie that I enjoyed. Alas, I was not enjoying this, but agonizing whenever I looked at my watch. Perhaps someday this will become a cult classic, but it has nothing in it that would allow that measure of admiration. No matter how bad. In case you didn't realize, This is on my list of worst ever, if not at the top of the list. Please don't waste even one second on this horrible piece of non-fun.