Orcs!

Obviously, this isn't better than the The Lord Of The Rings trilogy as someone else suggested (I wish IMDb could stop cast and crew from posting glowing reviews of their own movies). What it is, is a fun, cheap, cheesy little exploitation flick. It's done for laughs and really is kind of funny. The plot in a sentence : 2 bumbling idiot park rangers square off against guys wearing armor that looks a lot like what the orcs wore in Lord of the Rings. The armor is, of course, to avoid having to have any special effects make-up most of the time. They apparently claim the movie cost 3 million to make. But, if it did, someone stole at least 2 million. It's not great. But it's not awful.

All over my country you couldn't visit a shop without seeing this flick. When you pick it up you will notice immediately that it says, the monsters from Lord Of The Rings are back. Do I need to say more?

I didn't liked it at all, why you ask yourself. Well, there should be a bit of comedy in it, I didn't laugh at all. The only thing that gives my face a bit of a twist was the return of an urine sample. The main lead (Adam Johnson)annoyed me a lot and wasn't funny at all. I'm not used to see him in those acting parts, I remember him from Frozen (2010). The cadet Hobie wasn't funny neither, if youngsters would look at it maybe they would laugh.

The orcs did look nice but when the are being shot they are hit with CGI bullets and the cheap kind of CGI, so it shows. And when they attack it goes on and on and nothing really happens. There are a few killings that are worth noticing but it doesn't save this picture. The decapitation was okay but it was too late.

It's sad that this so-called comedy didn't work at all for me.

Gore 1/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 1/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0,5/5

Well, you know what you are in for when you look at the title of the movie alone. But still, I decided to watch this movie to conquer the boredom.

The movie in itself was a mixed blessing. The camera-work was actually quite good, and the locations and scenery was off the charts. Lots of really nice stuff to look at here. Lots of vibrant colors and locations.

Now, the bad stuff about the movie was the story. Come on, orcs being released from the confined subterranean of a mountain by some miners blasting for ore. Well, alright, why not? But orcs? Come on... And to make matters worse, the orcs resembled nothing more than teenagers running confused around at a live role-playing game event. It was dreadful to look at. And the fighting scenes were rigid and painful to behold.

As for the acting, well, it was not top notch. Unknown names and faces, to me at least, but then again, in a movie like this, I wasn't expecting to see anyone with a named carved for themselves in Hollywood already. There were moments of good acting, but there were also moments of horrendous acting. And the movie wasn't particularly helped along by an exciting dialogue.

All in all, "Orcs!" is a low-budget movie that uses pungent humor and suffers from a terrible storyline. But the movie is set in amazing surroundings, which actually helps make it bearable to watch. If you are bored out of your mind and want some non-brainer movie, "Orcs!" might just be the thing for you.

If you are looking for LOTR look elsewhere. A stoner ranger, his dim witted trainee and his militant enviormentalist girlfriend fight an invading tribe of orcs at a national park. All the characters are pleasantly two dimensional. Cheesy special effect and costumes. Predictable plot. But fun none-the-less.

The best thing about Orcs! are the production values, which in the photography, costumes and scenery are very good. The photography has fluidity and skill, that way it allows us to enjoy the beautiful scenery more. The costumes are reasonably attractive too, colourful and neither over-the-top or ugly. The music does have some excitement that is not there in the rest of the movie, there are some beautiful parts and it doesn't play too much of a dirge. However, the special effects are slapdash at best, they are weirdly proportioned and there is nothing smooth in their movements. The orcs are no better, design-wise they fare even worse, the Chamber of Horrors actors in Madame Tussauds' are far more believably made up, and they are very amateurishly acted. In fact the acting is not very good in Orcs! There are a couple of mild bright spots, but a lot of it screams of inexperience and I found myself constantly annoyed by the characters, especially Cal who's annoyingly acted by Adam Johnson. Orcs! falls down badly in the script and story departments. There is a lot of "humour" in the movie, and the bad news is that very little of it works and there really needed to be much less of it. Instead of witty, it just felt cheesy and immature, made worse by the actors' forced dialogue delivery. Aside from the humour, the rest of the script is very stilted and confused. The story is a mess and never seems to find the right tone, it tries to be quirky, it tries to be suspenseful and it tries to be scary and it succeeds at neither. The orcs are nowhere near threatening enough and have no presence really, while the movie is too dull and predictable to be suspenseful and the action is sluggishly edited, is choreographed with no excitement, tension or fun whatsoever and is performed with no involvement. In conclusion, the production values(outside of the effects and the look of the orcs) are decent but the rest of the movie is a big misfire. 3/10 Bethany Cox