Zombie Women of Satan

When it comes to reviewing and voting on small budget movies, I tend to be more generous with my views than if I was dealing with a big budget movie. After all, a big studio production has the cash to make sure they get everything right but a small production rarely has that privilege. For example, a lot of the violence in this movie happens just out of shot. Weapon impacts are just out of frame and then we see the aftermath. This I don't have a problem with as it's hard to do lots of fake impacts realistically and safely. So putting it just out of view makes sense. But despite all the limitations of the budget it is clear that there is still some other problems with this film. The biggest of which is the comedy. The script does contain some decent jokes and one liners but due to some really bad editing and directing - and in one or two cases, some bad performances - most of the humour is completely butchered. If the joke isn't entirely delivered in one take then the editing room is where the timing can be refined until the humour works. But that clearly hasn't been the case in the making of this film. Instead the editing has tried it's best to squeeze every moment of hilarity out of each even vaguely amusing moment and such an attempt kills the humour dead. Several times while watching this film I could see that a joke would have looked great in the script but due to the performances and post production work, the joke just doesn't work on film. But to the fair to the editor and directors, some of the jokes in this film are also ruined by bad performances. There is at least one major cast member who gives a performance worthy of a school nativity play and at least one other who comes close. Which is a shame because some of the other actors and actresses are really good. They've just been let down by some of their cast mates and poor post production work.

If you're looking for a funny comedy, don't see this film. If you're looking for violence, don't see this film. If you're looking for gore or are interested in how *not* to edit humour or like films where afterwards you can say "damn, if they'd had a bigger budget...", then see this film.

It is impossible to describe how awful this movie is. I searched this out after reading the bad reviews thinking that anything that bad must be worth laughing it. It isn't. Watching this cheap, stupid, bigoted, incompetently made and badly acted film isn't even worth an amused derisive chuckle.

I know there are some people who love "boobs and blood" films but the blood is about as convincing as little children have as part of their fancy dress on halloween and the boobs are attached to overweight, pasty-white slappers who couldn't turn a television on.If this description still applies to you then try google images.

With the exception of Harmony Starr all the women in this movie are either obese, painfully thin, flat-chested, ugly as sin, talentless, buck-toothed or Scottish. In most cases more than one.

There might be people who find the same four letter word used a million times hilarious but I'm not one of them. Whoever wrote the so-called script should have his fingers broken to stop him writing anything else.

I didn't listen to warnings about how bad this was. Don't make my mistake. Zombie Women of Satan is not worth renting, buying or downloading for free.Avoid.

truly wretched experience. Please shoot them if any British producer suggest another laddish horror comedy. The low point of many was an inordinately extended shot of a dwarfs face as he took a s**t. and the soundtrack contained every toilet noise they could think of. Not even a punchline except a view of a pile of crap (a metaphor there. There was also a section which seemed to suggest rape was a subject of humour as one of the characters has sex with a zombie strapped to an operating table. Easily the worst film I have seen in a decade. I know these people are mostly amateur but there is no excuse for this sort of thing. Why are women in underwear being hit round the head a lot funny? Why cant they say anything but "fookin"? I could go on but I want to forget the experience rather than recall it in detail.

Since I wrote this other comments have appeared that I can only assume are cast members or their relatives

This is quite possibly the worse film I have ever had the misfortune to see - and I've seen Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock.

The acting is truly terrible, the script is weak, the direction amateurish and the "comedy" just plain bad. In all respects, it is a typical weak "British Zombie Comedy Horror" that has no saving grace. To make matters worse, it is chock full of pointless nudity, which was probably only inserted because it was the only way they could get that much needed 18 certificate. Whoever financed this movie should not only ask for their money back but also fine all those involved. They say a little talent can go a long way but the makers of this film have tried to stretch no talent even further.

Avoid at all costs.

... and can I just apologise to the world for anyone who unluckily stumbled across this 'film'! I would like to apologise on behalf of Newcastle, the North-East of England and just the United Kingdom in general! This film is seriously a waste of your life and time! I hear Warren Speed is making a sequel!!! Well his cast obviously haven't seen the original and realise what damage it will do to their reputations and future 'careers'! The 'humour' in this film is absolutely abysmal... and not a true representation of the North East of England or it's people! The 'scripting', 'directing' and 'acting' in this film is beyond human comprehension... and not a true representation of the North East of England or it's people! Honestly! People around England... and the globe have this idea that Geordies and people from the North East are stupid, immature and hopeless... and people like Warren Speed and his cast of ridiculous half-wits really don't help! Please! If you have spare money and are tempted to rent or buy this utter shambolic atrocity!!! PleaseE!!! Reconsider and give it to a homeless person, or a charity... or just rent/buy a film that won't make you feel like humanity is not worth saving! Warren Speed aka Pervo The Talentless Clown... you really are a disgrace to art and everything else and should be wholeheartedly ashamed of yourself!