Dotado para Brilhar

There is very little to say about Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star other than "I hated it ... I hated ALL of it!" The film is not funny and it is repellent.

I cannot criticize it for being about porn because Boogie Nights was exclusively about the world of porn and I think it was one of the BEST film of the 1990's. Boogie Nights treated its characters as flawed human beings searching for acceptance and a feeling of belonging -- Bucky Larson's characters are all supposed to be laughed at and there are just too many times throughout the movie which had me wanting to rush to the bathroom to vomit as 89% of the film is stomach-churning.

This should pretty-much END the career of anybody involved and I am actually surprised that Adam Sandler's name is attached as both a writer and a producer of this trash (Sandler also gave us Jack and Jill and Just Go With It this year -- the latter film is only saved b/c of the over-the-top performance of the unlikely physical comedienne Nicole Kidman -- so I question whether or not his days are numbered?).

An unfunny-to-me Nick Swardson (Just Go With It, 30 Minutes or Less, Blades of Glory) -- who's career is mostly stand-up comedy -- stars as the grotesquely buck-toothed Bucky Larson (who must've been born with buck-teeth?) who believes he is destined for a glorious career in porn after discovering his parents were au natural (meaning: unshaven, un-waxed, un-spray-tanned, un-fit etc) porn stars of the 1970's. Bucky leaves behind an insulting-to-mid-westerners existence in Iowa (only found in the movies -- he didn't attend high school because his town didn't have one ... whatever), the RIDICULOUSLY-accented Bucky (that is NOT an Iowa accent ... but let's throw-out another stupid laugh at the expense of the heartland) heads to LA where his dreams can come true.

Bucky luckily meets a nice, big-hearted waitress (Christina Ricci - Sleepy Hollow, Penelope, Monster ... and after this is it any wonder she seeked out employment on television as Pan-Am is Oscar-caliber compared to this!) at a random diner who befriends him, finds him a place to live (with crazy-jerk roommate Kevin Nealon - "SNL", "Weeds", Just Go With It) and sets him in the right direction of finding work. Don Johnson (Tin Cup, Machete ... who's short-lived career rebirth must be over) is porn director Miles Deep who sees something "special" in Bucky and decides to exploit the freak (it's explained in the film ... but I don't recommend watching this to figure out the "freak-tag" that has NOTHING to do with his teeth!) and Stephen Dorff (who's stellar "comeback" with the excellent film Somewhere must have been a fluke!!) plays a jealous porn-star rival.

As vulgar and repulsive as this film is, there is surprisingly little flesh on display. It would be difficult to pick-out the worst part of this film as that would pretty-much be the whole thing. Just as impossible would be finding "the best" part. This film isn't bad because it is offensive -- we've had Bridesmaids and two Hangover films -- it is just terrible bad. What works with those 3 films is that they are "equal-opportunity offenders" ... this one -- NOT so much. It is rank and rancid and beyond mere words for criticism. I NEVER want to see something like this again.

See that $20 bill in your wallet? Wipe your ass with it instead of paying to see this movie. You will receive more amusement watching a feces-stained Jackson swirl around the bowl than watching this gross-out piece of water buffalo diarrhea.

Not even an immature 13 year old will find this film amusing. It uses the same three jokes the entire movie: Bucky has buck teeth, he shoots semen at the mere sight of a naked girl, and he has a tiny penis covered with a bush of hair. Boom, that's it. That's the movie.

Game over man, game over.

If I could give this film zero stars, I would. Not even Stephen Dorff can save this penguin excrement.

This movie is not for you if you don't like raunchy humor. But, if you like raunchy humor, this movie will keep you in stitches from start to end.

Swardson plays Bucky, a buck-toothed Dutch-boy coiffed loser from Iowa who learns that his parents (now farmers) used to be porn stars in the '70's and takes a bus to Hollywood to get into the industry.

In one scene soon after Bucky arrives in Hollywood, he goes to a casting call for a peanut butter commercial, but he thinks it's for a porno. What happens next is totally hilarious.

Christine Ricci plays Bucky's love interest. She's beautiful and excellent in this role. Don Johnson plays a washed-up porn producer who 'discovers' Bucky. Kevin Nealon plays Bucky's abusive roommate.

Bucky is totally naive so there are a lot of stupid jokes at his expense. The movie is full of raunchy, stupid humor. If you love that kind of thing, you'll love this movie.

Based on the edge-of-your-seat trailer and the early Oscar buzz, I had extremely high hopes for this film. Easy to say, I was not let down.

From the awe-inspiring cinematography to the tour-de-force performances from the A-list cast, it's nearly impossible to classify this movie as anything less than a masterpiece.

The emotional climatic twist left the entire nearly everyone in the theater in tears, myself included. Never before had a film had such a powerful impact on me. It truly has changed the way I look at the world.

Mark my words, this will soon become a timeless classic required by film schools across the country. This is not one to miss.

"Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star" bombed big time when it was released to theaters. It may have been because it was released in the beginning of September, when there are few people going to movie theaters. It may have been because the movie is about the porn industry, which has never been a popular movie topic for mainstream moviegoers. It may have also been because the relentless television commercials for the movie were very annoying. But I think the main reason why it bombed was that the audience smelled it for the stinker that it was. There are no laughs anywhere to be found in the movie, for one thing. But it also has a weird tone, like it was written by a dirty-minded and mean-spirited eight year old. It's not very audience-friendly, to put it mildly. The cast is spirited, but they can do absolutely nothing with the terrible script.

Oh, one more piece of evidence for its badness: The end credits for this 2011 release list a 2010 copyright, suggesting that Columbia Pictures didn't know what to do with the movie for quite some time.