A Recipe for Seduction

I need a sequel. That was a Chicken Little and I at least need a $5 fill up to satiate me. I appreciate all the quintessential Lifetime tropes so well portrayed in a condensed format. It was high stakes but I am glad the mustache was unscathed.

As our saga begins we are greeted with a dinner scene containing aggressive caucasity, some fried chicken and a failed proposal. The plot line goes from here as our unhappy, rich white characters go on complaining about all aspects of their lives...except one. The dinner was awful and yet the chicken was amazing. This brings our viewer to meet our protagonist, the new chef, Colonel Sanders. The audience needs no explanation of military rank or how he ended up working for these people and we don't care. The Colonel's bulging biceps, under a shirt that is simultaneously perfect and one size too small, grab the attention of both the viewer and our unhappy Gringa leading lady. There is some plot between a bitter boyfriend and a conniving mother wherein the acting leaves the audience speechless and confused as we clutch our pearls in anticipation of where this movie could possibly be going. Overall, the best acting came from the Colonel's salt and pepper hair which seems to almost levitate above the head of Mario Lopez. The movie was both too much and not enough since it left me wanting more...a perfect analogy to what it's like to eat KFC.

I don't know if I've ever seen a film that's presented by Kentucky Fried Chicken. "A Recipe for Seduction" is probably the first. It's a somewhat strange and silly film about an upper class woman who's in love with Colonel Sanders, the chef of her home. Yeah, Colonel Sanders, the guy who was obviously the founder of KFC in real life. He actually passed away almost exactly 40 years ago. In this film, Sanders is played by Mario Lopez, and he does a good job. I don't usually watch Lifetime films, but I wonder if this short film is a parody of one of them. It has to be a parody. I was certainly laughing. I mean wouldn't you be laughing if Colonel Sanders was one of the main characters in a friggin' romance film?

"A Recipe for Seduction" sort of takes itself seriously, but it also sort of doesn't, and I like that. I haven't written much about the plot and I won't write more about it. I think the acting and the writing are pretty good for this kind of film. Sanders is definitely a likeable character. Well, the film *is* presented by KFC, so the fast food chain's founder has to be likeable, right? Even though I enjoyed this film, I don't know why it was made. Maybe KFC just wanted to show people that they have a sense of humour. I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

Look, it's obvious that KFC isn't going to get by on the quality of its food alone, so Colonel Sanders used the last vestiges of his power to create what is, in no exaggeration, the crowning achievement that cinema has been building up to for over 100 years. Contained within this 16 minute masterpiece is the sweeping romance of "Titanic," the suspense of "The Silence of the Lambs," and the action of "Die Hard," all distilled into their purest forms. I laughed, I cried, I was moved. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get a bucket of finger lickin' good Kentucky Fried Chicken.



No but I really did laugh A LOT.

Bad acting, Bad plot, Bad directing. A little something for everyone, 10/10