- [first lines]
- Sam Davis: [reading for children's book] He would not take no for an answer. Our young hero traveled a great many leagues beneath the ocean's surface to find his shackled mermaid. And he had no intention of leaving without her. However, the evil Sea King had other plans. Like a mad man driven by love and revenge, he unsheathed his spear gun and fired!
- Marshall Schmidt: [referring to book in his hand] You recommended this to me a long time ago. You said you felt it was written about you.
- Sam Davis: Yeah, well, those were my younger and more vulnerable years.
- Sam Davis: I've made some terrible mistakes and I've probably alienated everybody who was close to me, but I did that because I love you.
- Marshall Schmidt: When did you start smoking?
- Sam Davis: Recently.
- Marshall Schmidt: You know, you probably shouldn't be doing it at a gas station.
- Sam Davis: That's an old wives tale, Marshall.
- [flicks it away]