- Bubble Bass: Every episode of this show should be tossed in a dumpster and set on fire! The Patrick Show is a crime against humanity, and- and- and everyone involved with it should be thrown in jail! Patrick for starring in it, Squidina for producing it, and the lawnies for watching it! I'm just glad my audience isn't that pathetic.
- [faces his "audience" of action figures]
- Bubble Bass: Right, fellas?
- Patrick Star: It's not a coincidence, SpongeBob. It's just two similar things happening at the same time
- GrandPat Star: Check out the sweet merch haul.
- Squidina Star: [Gasp] Grandpat! You just figured out how to fund season 2!
- GrandPat Star: Stealing from children?
- Squidina Star: No, we'll sell official Patrick Show merchandise!
- GrandPat Star: What's the difference?
- Cecil Star: I can build something comfy with these fun blocks for kids!
- [Picks up Gravestones, Looks directly at the camera]
- Cecil Star: Speaking of kids, i wonder what my kids Patrick and Squidina are up to!
- Squidward: It's very simple. Just collect my newspaper money from Mr. Star.
- Patrick Star: Who's Mr. Star?
- Squidward: [slightly annoyed] Cecil. Your father?
- Patrick Star: Oh, him! Oh, but his name's not Seashell. It's Dad.
- SpongeBob: That's my dad's name, too!
- Bunny Star: [Picks up a Stuffed Ferret] Oh my, stuffed but in pristine condition.
- Stuffed Ferret: You ain't too bad yourself, lady.